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Ketamine - First Time - Mindblowing Experience

T

Titus

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 8, 2007
Messages
708
Location
Boston, MA
SWIM acquired ketamine powder. He has used many different drugs but has never used ketamine until 2 nights ago when he injested a small ammt by snorting it. SWIM was under the influence of methaqualone and a little alcohol at that time and the added ketamine had minor effects.

This morning SWIM weighted out 100mg of Ketamine. He also chopped it up finely with a razor, something he had neglected to do during the first usage. Swim made 3 fairly equal size lines and snorted most of one line, then the rest of that line a couple minutes later after putting a dab of warm water up his nose. Ammt injested ~ 40mg.

Swim layed down in his bed, computer by his side and the TV on. Within a couple of minutes he began to notice profound ringing in his ears although it was not unplesant. Shortly thereafter SWIM was totally blown away, his body felt like it couldn't move, he was intensely aware of his breathing, he felt powerful. He was watching a workout infomertial with music and had another forum similar to this one open on his computer.

Swim was alone and soon swim started to feel like he was a robot travelling in outer space while still aware that he was also lying in bed. It was intensely interesting and a very plesant feeling. The music and movements on the TV became 5 dimentional, swim's perceptions changed dramatically, something he has never exprienced before, at least not anything close to this. Swim was reading a FAQ about ketamine at this time, the best he could as his vision was impacted. Swim doesn't know how to explain the experience other than that he felt like a robot travelling through outer space while at the same time being glued to his bed under the covers. Swim could move his body when he wanted to but did not other than moving his hands and arms and legs a few times.

Swim liked it a lot, it lasted about 1/2 hour and then he began to settle back into just being a human being lying in bed watching tv and reading information on his computer as the robot in outer space began to merge back into swim in his normal everyday human form.

Swim will repeat :)

substancecode_ketamine
substancecode_dissociatives
explevel_firsttime
roacode_nasal
exptype_positive
exptype_glowing
exptype_spiritual
 
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It'll blow your mind and intelligence after a while, creating a permanent fog and numbness and separateness between yourself and the world around you. Mind you, I fucking ABUSED Ketamine. I regret falling into the addiction, but it was too strong at first to resist and became an utter love affair.

Daily use is terrible for your brain, oh god I wish I could take it all back. Used it 1-5 times a day for 1-2 weeks and would then stop for 4 weeks. This lasted 2 years. Don't fall into the trap. You gain a NASTY tolerance which will NEVER EVER go down. I went 3 months without at one point and it was exactly the place it had been when I last stopped. 50-100mg of K up the nose is a bit unpleasent, yes? Try on 350mg, in one line, and the feeling you get in your head as it takes effect and wears off, feels like you might as well be smashing your head on a brick wall.

Fuck I hate K for what it did to my brain. Granted, its my fault, and often I hate myself for it as well, but I fucking hate K at this point also.
 
vortex30 said:
It'll blow your mind and intelligence after a while, creating a permanent fog and numbness and separateness between yourself and the world around you. Mind you, I fucking ABUSED Ketamine. I regret falling into the addiction, but it was too strong at first to resist and became an utter love affair.

Daily use is terrible for your brain, oh god I wish I could take it all back. Used it 1-5 times a day for 1-2 weeks and would then stop for 4 weeks. This lasted 2 years. Don't fall into the trap. You gain a NASTY tolerance which will NEVER EVER go down. I went 3 months without at one point and it was exactly the place it had been when I last stopped. 50-100mg of K up the nose is a bit unpleasent, yes? Try on 350mg, in one line, and the feeling you get in your head as it takes effect and wears off, feels like you might as well be smashing your head on a brick wall.

Fuck I hate K for what it did to my brain. Granted, its my fault, and often I hate myself for it as well, but I fucking hate K at this point also.
Click to expand...

So, you still have this 'fog' in your head? and what other damage have you noticed?
 
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I abused ketamine daily and noticed no ill effects

hmm noticed....

oh shit!

just kidding, I don't think it really damages your brain or anything. However, I have always felt fogged out and disconnected.
 
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8ft-Sativa said:
So, you still have this 'fog' in your head? and what other damage have you noticed?
Click to expand...

It is hard to say what exactly Ketamine caused for me. I link it to my Depersonalization/Derealization a lot, because the first times I noticed how automated, straight forward, easy and how little effort I can put in was on Ketamine or during times of abuse. This feeling has stuck with me. Life is very much so automated, on K it feels incredibly simple, not it isn't as simple.

Face to face, I am very slow, I can not find the words I am looking for a lot of the time and simply don't show my intelligence, due to automation and brain fog. Typing however, I can come off as very intelligent if I try to be, which tells me K has made me that much less intelligent, I'm just slower, it takes longer, and naturally I have all the time in the world when I'm typing. I will often get 85% or more on essays (political and literature based essays) and you would never think to meet me in person that I am even in university (though I look like a bit of a nerd, what I mean is once you've gotten to know me a bit, how simplistic I make my life and how little I am able to talk about).

K definitely contributed to my HPPD, but not to the extent one dose of LSD did, so I mean, in that sense I don't have any big gripes with it.

This fog definitely still exists, you can read more about it here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depersonalization_disorder

Oh ya, and I can readily dissociate myself from the world around me pretty easily. Not in loud or crowded places, but if I'm just sitting alone in my room, I can make myself stay absolutely still and look off into the distance at nothing, think about nothing, for, well as long as I want to probably but I'll only ever go for about 5-10 minutes. Sometimes I do this without thinking about it or realizing it and suddenly snap out of it and just think WTF? Also my mouth will sometimes just hang open without me realizing, lol.

Daily use does damage your brain...If you use it once, and abstain for 3-4 days your brain can repair just about all the damage incurred, but if you use it the next day again, those cells will be at much higher risk of just dying off. I also read one use is comparable to a 3 day drinking binge in terms of brain damage. This could all be from "This is your brain on dissociatives" though, which I believe has been widely considered unproven. But...I still believe it causes brain damage, I feel I live with it everyday.

I also left this post unedited to show how I will skip over complete parts of sentences sometimes whilst typing, and talking, or I type the wrong word altogether, and some other things.
 
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Have you ever compared yourself to the rest of humanity? Is it possible that the ideal you compare yourself to when you arrive at judgemtnts like 'slow' and 'depersonalized' is an abstraction, and the real you can't compare to the image?

Is it possible that by judging yourself defective you're avoiding other issues and creating an 'easy way out' for yourself?

Have you ever considered what exactly intelligence is, and if it exists at all? Has there been a marked change in the quality of your life since 'this happend' that couldn't be explained by different perspective/depression/a mental quality that can be altered through strictly mental means? Like you can't do a certain type of math anymore? When physically altering personality through lobotomies doctors would ask the 'patients' to do math problems while local anesthesia kept them from feeling the implement damaging their brain. Permanent changes were strictly correlated with a decrease in abstract reasoning, tested by the math.

Do you understand that your brain constantly produces and distributes new stem cells to repair itself? Of course this shit isn't well understood...

I'm just trying to give you some food for thought; don't feel like I want to argue with you or type more in general. But if you do feel any emotions when you read my lil post here, consider what that means in terms of easy way out.
 
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Nice report, though short and not much detail. And please, please don't use swim and "he" instead of "I". No one is coming to get you Barbara ;)
 
The Is said:
Have you ever compared yourself to the rest of humanity? Is it possible that the ideal you compare yourself to when you arrive at judgemtnts like 'slow' and 'depersonalized' is an abstraction, and the real you can't compare to the image?
Click to expand...

I'm comparing myself to before and after I abused Ketamine.

Is it possible that by judging yourself defective you're avoiding other issues and creating an 'easy way out' for yourself?
Click to expand...

Umm, I'll just ignore this part. There is nothing easy about acknowledging you have a dissociative disorder like Depersonalization Disorder.

Have you ever considered what exactly intelligence is, and if it exists at all? Has there been a marked change in the quality of your life since 'this happend' that couldn't be explained by different perspective/depression/a mental quality that can be altered through strictly mental means? Like you can't do a certain type of math anymore? When physically altering personality through lobotomies doctors would ask the 'patients' to do math problems while local anesthesia kept them from feeling the implement damaging their brain. Permanent changes were strictly correlated with a decrease in abstract reasoning, tested by the math.
Click to expand...

I am also depressed, and yes there has been a marked change in my quality of life. Very marked. In grade 9 and 10 (and before that) I never used K, and I got 80% or more every single year in math. In grade 11, after my first K binge, I begin grade 11 Math, and I wind up with a 59%, grade 12 math I get a 55%. I actually never realized this correlation, why my Math skills went down so low, whereas other classes I stayed at about the same level. Thanks for clearing that up for me. Now...This has to do with learning new Math skills I suppose, my old Math skills are still around, but my ability to obtain new information in math is 100% gone. Whereas in History for example, my ability to learn new political ideology and events and all that was untouched.

Do you understand that your brain constantly produces and distributes new stem cells to repair itself? Of course this shit isn't well understood...
Click to expand...

Not really, but I'd imagine the reparations are slow and that our evolutionary process didn't account for dissociative anesthetics or other drugs known/theorized to cause brain damage.

I'm just trying to give you some food for thought; don't feel like I want to argue with you or type more in general. But if you do feel any emotions when you read my lil post here, consider what that means in terms of easy way out.
Click to expand...

This isn't an easy way out...I've changed a lot compared to before and after K, if you ask any of my close friends, teachers or parents/family they could all back this up, that I changed a lot during that time in my life, of course very few know I've abused K.
 
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Glad you liked the stuff. Its very robotic/alien/strange in nature for sure.


P.s. no need to use "SWIM", it would *never* help in court if it came down to it. :)
 
vortex30: Have you tried any drug therapies for depersonalization?

Two psychiatrist friends of mine have been using modafinil to treat depersonalization. They've suggested to me that this is due to dopamine-reuptake properties (which is usually cited as the source of its anti-depressant action), but it has affinity for AMPA as well, which offers an alternative explanation, at least under some models.
 
Thanks for the advice, I'll look into modafinil. So far, I'm just seeing a psychiatrist, no treatment yet, we've had two meetings and he seems very confused on what is wrong with me and what approaches to take, but hopefully I can find something that works well...Sorry to ruin your trip report, lol, basically just go easy on the K and you will be very rewarded, abuse it, and it may bite you in the ass, like anything. And in this case it is permanent, 'brain damage' like effects, not just addiction and withdrawal. Well, addiction for sure, but 'not just'.
 
I've watched friends go through the cycle of K abuse, not pretty, but if you can control yourself its an unreal drug.
 
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