Ketamine,depression,schizophrenia

[mobc1990]

heya,all my brothers,i will first introduce myself,i m adult 22 years old,from malaysia,never took any form of psychedelic drug or street drug before,but now since all hope has gone,i would like to give it a try before i die or give up.

i was first diagnosed with schizophrenia and took my first dose of antipsychotic(Invega) at around Jan 2009,its the most awful thing i have ever taken and did not stop...sexual dysfunction,weight gain(from 56kg-66kg) and most importantly negative symptoms,so up till now i had tried quite a number of medication and none of them work...i m really tired of my negative symptom,symptom include,anhedonia(no pleasure on anything),avoilition(lack of motivation),alogia(little or povert of speech),asocial(lack of desire to social) and apathy(feeling bored all the time)...had tried stopping medication for 4 months but still had these symptoms...

fast forward abit,recently i meet my ex-colleague,he is now a ketamine addict,althought i can sense abit of thought disorder when he speaks,but he still definately do better than i do,he laugh more normally and smile more normally,while at the dinner table where there is 4 of us including a girl,i am the one who is most apathethic,do not talk,do not answer to question(as i don't understand them,and makes me sound like idiot or rude),asocial and also look most anxious...i really want to enjoy a normal social life,like going to club once a week,enjoying at pub around,but now i just go to work every monday to saturday mindlessly,not productive and during sunday my holiday i stay at home,looking at the ceiling,lying on the bed,this is how i pass through my life since my diagnosis...i really don't want to live like this anymore,1 year,2 year,its ok,but i do not want to live like this for longer...

recently,its hot news on internet that ketamine can be used to treat depression(and hopefully negative symptom as i felt my mood is also very lousy),as i have virtually no experiene in using ketamine,but i could get ketamine from my colleague,but i would like a tips or 2 from you experienced user...i have seen my friend using their nose to take it,so i had to do the same??

http://www.socialanxietysupport.com/forum/f30/how-to-use-ketamine-as-an-antidepressant-114431/
i would probabably follow the dose mention in this thread,or do you guys had other recommendation for dosage??

i am really out of idea,so would probably resort to this as my last chance,or is any other psychedelic drug better than ketamine??i really hope something can help treat my negative symptoms,thx guys...

 

[Solipsis]

Schizophrenia and ketamine is one of the worst combinations ever, I have gotten psychotic from the stuff on more than one occasion. You'd better find something else to treat your depression that is safer. There are other things besides SSRIs or TCAs, for example St. John's Wort (not a very heavy one), occasional low dose AMT, or one that is gaining more and more popularity: mirtazapine.

In any case be very careful with self-medication. You don't have to blindly follow what a health professional says but don't just experiment with things left and right either. There is a sub threshold ketamine regimen that is supposed to help but:
- still I'd say the dissociative effects of ketamine are very dangerous if you suffer from something like schizophrenia or it's partial syndrome/symptoms,
- very few people are able to just stick to low doses and not take more and more. You may be able to keep disciplined for a while but as a K addict I can tell you that when you start trying to discover more of the K world you can have a very big problem.

 

[mobc1990]

thank you,i really appreciate for your effort to reply and in a mannerful way...yes man,i had tried quite some number of ssri and also i tried mirtazapine at dosage 30mg and 45mg for 6 weeks,but it didnt work,i guess i would take a step back and maybe think twice of whether to get ketamine anot,maybe your right,it is the worst combination,but what else can i try,i am really very fustrated and sad...the negative symptom is affecting my life of functioning and also my will to live on...i feel lousy of myself and hate myself,other people and even animal,what a life...

Edit:hey buddy,you mentioned AMT is it alpha-Methyltryptamine??i see that it is legal in most places,hopefully malaysia also,[not allowed to ask this, read the rules]

 

[Jinux]

There's no vendor discussion allowed on bluelight [period. indeed, thanks for pointing that out].

I back up the aMT suggestion though, I tried this with a friend over new years and it completely changed our lives. It was so insightful, not only did it give us a mood lift during the trip but it allowed us to look at our lives and see how to fix things that were lacking.

Good luck on your hunt friend

 

[33Hz]

I'd look into supplementing with N-Acetyl-Cysteine. There's been a few studies done on it recently and it appears to be helpful in treating both schizophrenia and depression.

 

[mobc1990]

There's no vendor discussion allowed on bluelight.

I back up the aMT suggestion though, I tried this with a friend over new years and it completely changed our lives. It was so insightful, not only did it give us a mood lift during the trip but it allowed us to look at our lives and see how to fix things that were lacking.

Good luck on your hunt friend

thx for input buddy...

 

[mobc1990]

I'd look into supplementing with N-Acetyl-Cysteine. There's been a few studies done on it recently and it appears to be helpful in treating both schizophrenia and depression.

33hz,had tried it already,this is the 2nd time i m taking it now NAC and sarcosine and also my antipsychotic abilify,all did nothing...but it works for some on schizo.com though

 

[Jinux]

I heard somewhere that Psilocybin has had some studies lately into its effectiveness with depression. It would obviously require some proper research but it might be worth giving a low dose of mushrooms a try.

 

[Solipsis]

AMT may be psychedelic in higher doses but I mentioned lower doses. It felt wonderful to me at like 10 mg. But don't go trying higher doses for better effect, I really don't think it works that way.
Psychedelics in general may have therapeutic value but I'd be really careful trying any psychedelic whatsoever for symptoms like this. More than that, I'd avoid that or recommend against it. Yes I understand you'd want to combat depression but you don't want to trigger latent "positive symptoms" (people other than mobc who do not understand what is meant by 'positive' here, look it up. I don't mean 'good') of schizophrenia do you? Because psychedelics have a tendency to do things like that.

Firstly, what do therapists tell you - if they have any clue at all - about whether your depression is clinical or if it is because of very real reasons in your life to be depressed about? What are your own ideas about this? If it's clinical, then I would not bet on 1 state of altered consciousness to change that. If it is not clinical then I would try to find out the reasons for your depression.

Picking up meditation could be a safer method for you to delve into yourself and do some healing. Pranayama meditation is meant to have great potential.

 

[mobc1990]

AMT may be psychedelic in higher doses but I mentioned lower doses. It felt wonderful to me at like 10 mg. But don't go trying higher doses for better effect, I really don't think it works that way.
Psychedelics in general may have therapeutic value but I'd be really careful trying any psychedelic whatsoever for symptoms like this. More than that, I'd avoid that or recommend against it. Yes I understand you'd want to combat depression but you don't want to trigger latent "positive symptoms" (people other than mobc who do not understand what is meant by 'positive' here, look it up. I don't mean 'good') of schizophrenia do you? Because psychedelics have a tendency to do things like that.

Firstly, what do therapists tell you - if they have any clue at all - about whether your depression is clinical or if it is because of very real reasons in your life to be depressed about? What are your own ideas about this? If it's clinical, then I would not bet on 1 state of altered consciousness to change that. If it is not clinical then I would try to find out the reasons for your depression.

Picking up meditation could be a safer method for you to delve into yourself and do some healing. Pranayama meditation is meant to have great potential.

hey sir,i have decided against going for ketamine,as i believe i am not a person with that lot of willpower to control myself without abusing the ketamine,but its interesting that you mention AMT,i have did modest research on AMT,not to my surprise i found some good/bad review but still had the urge to try it out myself...you mentioned lower doses at 10mg did some "wonderful"feeling to you,pardon me for asking,if you had any form of mental illness??or you tried AMT for only recreational reason??

i have once visited a therapists for around 3-4 months,she and i have come to a conclution that we both think that it will be a waste of time for me to come to the session as after that much of time,we still had not seen any changes...she had never mentioned if my negative symptom or depression is clinical or not,but i am going to visit another psychologist on 14th feb,hopefully she can give me some form of advice or clue...but still i personally had no much confidence on theraphy kind of stuff,as i think my problem is due to chemical imbalance inside my brain...

It's really a happy and sad feeling whenever i see people finding the "right"medication and said they felt normal...happy because i believe there is still hope,sad because i do not know when it will be my turn,and it has been a long wait already,hopefully my perserverance,determination will bring me to the right direction of finding a correct medication/theraphy and find peace and had a clear mind...

 

[Zija]

Picking up meditation could be a safer method for you to delve into yourself and do some healing. Pranayama meditation is meant to have great potential.

I second this, there is always a chance of a terrible reaction that could leave you worse off.

On a personal note I have found that psychedelics defiantly have a positive affect of my mental health.

I once took a low dose of mushrooms, the trip was a+2. I had been quite depressed about a few aspects in my life. Without getting into too much detail the mushroom experience gave me a confident after glow. One week after the trip I was heading a totally different direction than I was a week prior to the experience. The initial glow left after a week and a half, the lessons I learned however were still with me.

LSD was always so unforgiving and unpredictable. The insights however were totally life changing, and after looking back I didn't always change right away, but as time went on I noticed things fixed up. Frequent LSD trips however (This was the period when I first discovered acid. After a few great trips my experiences turned negative and us a result) left me with feelings of depression and self worth. These experiences always should me the truth and I didn't like the truth. Total ego destruction followed and I literately rebuilt myself in the way I CHOOSE to. LSD let me see my life as if all my qualities were on a shelf. The bad ones could be taken down and replaced with better habits and so forth.

Ketamine was different. I would become so detached from everything when I came back up (lol) it was if I was starting over.

Salvia. Worked me (aka kicked my ass). I have never been able to depict what that reoccurring trip meant.

my 2cents lol

 

[<SpaceHead>]

I don't think anyone with any kind of schizophrenia should be taking psychedelics or dissociatives at all. One of my good friends has schizophrenia, LSD trips and DXM trips both seriously exaggerated his symptoms and delusions, now he's in a mental hospital on haldol. Ketamine may show promise for PTSD and depression in strictly controlled clinical studies, but this in no way means that people with serious mental illness should be taking it without supervision. Ketamine can drive people with no prior mental illness completely insane, let alone people who already suffer from them.

Go with the meditation man! It has zero risk and works wonders for depression and mental health in general.