I recently tried Ketamine for the first time. What started out as a bit of fun, ended up becoming the most perfect, profound and peaceful experience of my life. The morning after, I felt amazing, like I knew so many things I never knew before. However, it has started to cause me severe problems. I'm struggling to cope with the new realities i'm having to face. After experiencing the total loss of ego, becoming just a pattern of thoughts in space and time, with no cares, no responsibilities, no opinions, no pain, no fear... and coming back to this. I feel like everything is meaningless after experiencing such perfection.
I now DESPISE the fact we, as a race, have egos. Everything feels so much better without one. I hate that we're such a defensive race. I can be such an arrogant, selfish person at times and not even realize it, but on K? I was nothing. Everything was bliss. I HATE how we're forced into this natural state of 'sobriety' - I understand it's survival, but why have we, as a race, developed such immense egos? I can't take it, please anybody in the same boat or has any advice would be extremely appreciated. I feel so lost, I don't even want to experience it again. But somehow, I want to experience it forever... because this 'normal' world and way of life we've become accustomed to is just so meaningless in comparison.
I now DESPISE the fact we, as a race, have egos. Everything feels so much better without one. I hate that we're such a defensive race. I can be such an arrogant, selfish person at times and not even realize it, but on K? I was nothing. Everything was bliss. I HATE how we're forced into this natural state of 'sobriety' - I understand it's survival, but why have we, as a race, developed such immense egos? I can't take it, please anybody in the same boat or has any advice would be extremely appreciated. I feel so lost, I don't even want to experience it again. But somehow, I want to experience it forever... because this 'normal' world and way of life we've become accustomed to is just so meaningless in comparison.