MentalMagnificient
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 27, 2015
- Messages
- 33
First off let me apologize for the bad wording and such, its hard for me to write as clearly as most but I have cleaned this up the best I can and if anything is poorly worded let me know and I will try to fix it.
I have had lots of tripping in experience before this trip but never taken a dissociate aside from dxm three times before which really cannot compare to ketamine. I have a friend, he has wanted to try ketamine for quite some time whilst I had some reservations about it as while I love tripping at insane levels I still like to keep a footing in reality which is much harder with a substance that keeps you out of touch with your senses. I however decided to try it and even if I hated it it would have been only a 90 minute max experience. Boy was i wrong.
We decided to take it orally as I do not mess with needles and sniffing powder seems unpleasant. I have no idea how much my friend took but I measured 450mg to take orally which I had estimated to be a medium dosage to get myself gently accustomed to the drug. We dissolved the K in some hot water and orange juice of which I then drank and waited for the effects. I put on some music and just casually talked. At this moment forward I forgot I had taken a drug.
I never noticed myself falling from reality because in my head I was sober so when everything became different I had no notion of "wow, im on a drug". I had insane spins like when on alcohol but this time with a huge array of new sensations. Everything that I was experiencing was the only thing that existed. I was this ball of an entity pushing through waves of energy without a concept of time and without knowledge of who I was ,where I came from and where I was going. I only experienced each second as it came and each second was the only thing that was in existence. The only thing that i can remember really was being this ball and pushing upwards through sheets of cosmic fabric. Each wall of fabric was red and that when I thought that I have existed forever as a trip and I will always be here in this trip, forever being nothing but experiences which i forget one second after it happens. I tried to remember how i got to this point, how I was able to watch movies, hold conversation, talk to my parents, go to work. I did not remember what it was like being sober. My entire memory of life was the trip that i was currently in. I tried so hard to remember sobriety and yet I had no notion of it at all.
I then thought that maybe I would never come down, that I could be in a hospital right now and would have no clue. I couldnt tell what anything around me was so I really could have been anywhere. I thought of what if I was like this for the rest of my life? Where on psychedelics that thought is scary, I was not scared this time but accepted that notion willingly. I didnt know pleasure from displeasure, i was neutral about everything.
I had no control over my body and my legs were tapping the ground furiously (like restless leg syndrome) and when I looked at my friend I was sure I was supposed to know who he was but I didnt. What disturbs me the most in hindsight was the fact that while on a psychedelic even in high doses I wont move somewhere without my conscious decision to do so, I can do massive doses but still have enough awareness to not do something stupid and stay in my chair or bed where its safe. On ketamine I had no knowledge of my body movements or my own physical location. Somehow I ended up on the floor and my friend was standing above me dancing to try and make me laugh (he is an amazing friend and bless him for trying to do that for me) but I had no idea what i was looking at and a human was a foreign concept to me. I knew very faintly that there was something else outside this eternal writhing energy field but what was it? I would become frustrated trying to figure out this mystery. But then I would get sucked into the waves and forget about everything. I had no background cognitive voice that remained unaffected like one has on most psychedelics. My brain had been fully incapacitated and my brain had lost all of its independent power. To be honest the fact I somehow retained the ability to breathe surprises me, I was that far gone. From erowid.org it says that oral doses last from 60-90 minutes and reports back this up.
However, I tripped at this intensity for 6 hours.
6 HOURS.
That was followed by a slow 4 hour comedown in which I was too out of it to drive home and could just lay there like a zombie. My friend tripped closer to 12 hours with a comedown of over 24 hours and he was sick. I felt fine however and had no ill effects from the chemical.
I do not know how i feel about disassociates. I do not regret the drug and I do not see it as a bad trip as I did not have a bad time but there was nothing I could take back. I can receive great knowledge and inspiration from psychedelics and yet with ketamine I saw so much but yet learned nothing. I have tripped enough that I dont look for mainly spiritual learning anymore and now trip with a main focus on enjoying the many realms I get to fly through and if spirituality hits than all well and good. However Ketamine did not fulfill anything for me, It wasnt fun because I didnt even know I was tripping, I had no knowledge of the music playing next to me, no knowledge of my friends and my own life.
It was everything and yet nothing at all.
I had originally planned 600mg and I am so glad I didnt choose too. I will likely finish the ketamine I have left but Will be taking more like 300-350 and never 450 again.
I have no idea why we tripped so long as I did not expect that at all.
I can see why people love this and I wish I could say the same but i do not enjoy it and I do not hate it. It is nothing at all to me. And for some reason that disturbs me.
I have had lots of tripping in experience before this trip but never taken a dissociate aside from dxm three times before which really cannot compare to ketamine. I have a friend, he has wanted to try ketamine for quite some time whilst I had some reservations about it as while I love tripping at insane levels I still like to keep a footing in reality which is much harder with a substance that keeps you out of touch with your senses. I however decided to try it and even if I hated it it would have been only a 90 minute max experience. Boy was i wrong.
We decided to take it orally as I do not mess with needles and sniffing powder seems unpleasant. I have no idea how much my friend took but I measured 450mg to take orally which I had estimated to be a medium dosage to get myself gently accustomed to the drug. We dissolved the K in some hot water and orange juice of which I then drank and waited for the effects. I put on some music and just casually talked. At this moment forward I forgot I had taken a drug.
I never noticed myself falling from reality because in my head I was sober so when everything became different I had no notion of "wow, im on a drug". I had insane spins like when on alcohol but this time with a huge array of new sensations. Everything that I was experiencing was the only thing that existed. I was this ball of an entity pushing through waves of energy without a concept of time and without knowledge of who I was ,where I came from and where I was going. I only experienced each second as it came and each second was the only thing that was in existence. The only thing that i can remember really was being this ball and pushing upwards through sheets of cosmic fabric. Each wall of fabric was red and that when I thought that I have existed forever as a trip and I will always be here in this trip, forever being nothing but experiences which i forget one second after it happens. I tried to remember how i got to this point, how I was able to watch movies, hold conversation, talk to my parents, go to work. I did not remember what it was like being sober. My entire memory of life was the trip that i was currently in. I tried so hard to remember sobriety and yet I had no notion of it at all.
I then thought that maybe I would never come down, that I could be in a hospital right now and would have no clue. I couldnt tell what anything around me was so I really could have been anywhere. I thought of what if I was like this for the rest of my life? Where on psychedelics that thought is scary, I was not scared this time but accepted that notion willingly. I didnt know pleasure from displeasure, i was neutral about everything.
I had no control over my body and my legs were tapping the ground furiously (like restless leg syndrome) and when I looked at my friend I was sure I was supposed to know who he was but I didnt. What disturbs me the most in hindsight was the fact that while on a psychedelic even in high doses I wont move somewhere without my conscious decision to do so, I can do massive doses but still have enough awareness to not do something stupid and stay in my chair or bed where its safe. On ketamine I had no knowledge of my body movements or my own physical location. Somehow I ended up on the floor and my friend was standing above me dancing to try and make me laugh (he is an amazing friend and bless him for trying to do that for me) but I had no idea what i was looking at and a human was a foreign concept to me. I knew very faintly that there was something else outside this eternal writhing energy field but what was it? I would become frustrated trying to figure out this mystery. But then I would get sucked into the waves and forget about everything. I had no background cognitive voice that remained unaffected like one has on most psychedelics. My brain had been fully incapacitated and my brain had lost all of its independent power. To be honest the fact I somehow retained the ability to breathe surprises me, I was that far gone. From erowid.org it says that oral doses last from 60-90 minutes and reports back this up.
However, I tripped at this intensity for 6 hours.
6 HOURS.
That was followed by a slow 4 hour comedown in which I was too out of it to drive home and could just lay there like a zombie. My friend tripped closer to 12 hours with a comedown of over 24 hours and he was sick. I felt fine however and had no ill effects from the chemical.
I do not know how i feel about disassociates. I do not regret the drug and I do not see it as a bad trip as I did not have a bad time but there was nothing I could take back. I can receive great knowledge and inspiration from psychedelics and yet with ketamine I saw so much but yet learned nothing. I have tripped enough that I dont look for mainly spiritual learning anymore and now trip with a main focus on enjoying the many realms I get to fly through and if spirituality hits than all well and good. However Ketamine did not fulfill anything for me, It wasnt fun because I didnt even know I was tripping, I had no knowledge of the music playing next to me, no knowledge of my friends and my own life.
It was everything and yet nothing at all.
I had originally planned 600mg and I am so glad I didnt choose too. I will likely finish the ketamine I have left but Will be taking more like 300-350 and never 450 again.
I have no idea why we tripped so long as I did not expect that at all.
I can see why people love this and I wish I could say the same but i do not enjoy it and I do not hate it. It is nothing at all to me. And for some reason that disturbs me.
