Meth KCMO how does a meth user survive or meet a companion for support in stopping, stumbling or fucking up multiple times over

[fairydustinmo]

I am going to be honest because, I have been using meth for a year - my true philosophy has been simple - Never run out. I am here to tell you that I have been fairly lucky since I have been using that I have been so lucky to not. Because the truth of the matter is that I am a big ass white dude but have real trouble trusting people and don’t have the balls to hit the pavement looking for friends in the sin world. How does one safely meet friends? I get that there are a ton of people that fall victim to drugs, ok? I have been one multiple fucking times, barely made it out by the skin of my teeth…. And most of my teeth.. Part of me wants to quit, but part of me realizes that I have been successful and outgrowing the whole this shit runs my life kind of world. I had to take every opportunity to gtfo away but I am morally conflicted asking for help when I don’t want it. I just want a safe way to use. Am I being as stupid as one could be just using that type of mindset here to begin with because “I think I have control”

One place I have let myself fall short on is keeping at least one person around who knows this secret of my drug use. It literally eats me alive inside because I have a lot on my shoulders to support my family and I’m use because it has kept me going for long hours to provide for the ones who depend on me. But, I am about to fall short because I can’t depend on me to find what I need to keep myself going. This is all so fucked up but the reason I think I just need a friend that has been through this kind of of shit who can help me as a sounding board and vice versa it would be awesome. I cant tell you how much of a weight I just felt lifted getting to put something like this on paper. In hopes that someone out there would listen.,, even if you’re not out there. I thank you for reading this

 

[specialrelativity]

I don't think it's much like coca-ine. I guess you could build a social network or social system. There's always others using the same drug, you just have to look around, a little.

 

[pixies+]

Personally, the more I kept my drug use (of any kind) a secret, the more it would eat away at my soul. Lies eat away at me.
I often start backing away from social situations because it’s just too difficult to pretend.

I completely understand where you’re coming from. Plus it’s often more difficult to find true friends as you get older. Not always. But this is my experience, as well.

I’m sure you’ll find a bunch of people in the same boat as you, if you stick around.