TDS Just when you think the worst is over...

Well, things are going really good.. like. Im expecting some horrid disaster to creep up on me , because things are going so good. But a little bit of me wants to believe this is really how life is supposed to be when its not fucked up, because these people have been so wonderful it brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it.
 
Glad you are feeling better. However, as a long term addict be verry careful about staying on low dose dex.

I severely underestimated the power of PAWS.

Stims definitely help with the low motivation and a lot other symptoms of PAWS. Personally I used the 'if this good more is better' philosophy and went headlong into a years long cocaine binge. Try to use medicinally. Playing with fire.

I now take ritalin as a PAWS reducer. I find this dificult to resist the urge to binge on as well.

Wish you success. It has been done before:)
 
Thanks. I dont have any dex/otherwise at the moment unfortunately. I agree, but at this point itd be the lesser of evils at worst.
Things in life have been shitty.. then to top things off i go to visit my friend last night and he shows me some heroin... something i hadnt come in contact with ever yet (thankfully). I turned him down on it, which i was pretty proud of.. but then he flat out gave me some...

It's gone.
<I really liked it>

Fuck. This is not what I want...
 
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No, a true friend probably wouldnt, but hes about the closest thing i have to a friend at the moment, and as much as im an independant person, i cant live without contact.

As for the video, thats how i feel about opiates. Its a great one, i might share it :)

I guess the threads been drawn out too long, but yeah, my problems all stem from 8 years of major codeine addiction. I was almost tapered off last year when i started on the dex, i cant get any lately though. Friend troubles. Putting weight back on. Been back on the codeine. Oxy source came up a few weeks ago, which is bad, although its too expensive for my tolerance to push thinngs much deeper. also oxy doesnt have that "still" of morph.
Now heroin though.. more of that feeling im addicted to, cheaper.

Its a killer. All this time ive just thanked my stars that ive never come in contact, becase i knew i couldnt resist. But now i have to.
 
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just a quick update.

Horse is off the menu,
Oxy is on.

Life is still unravelling, although not quite at the same rate, and I've put into motion what will hopefully be the end of the unravelling.
I've set some things into motion, given myself a very real deadline. If I don't sort things by that date, well.. No , I have to. That's it.

I'm breaking free of my depressing as fuck job, I'm not tied down by anything. I'm going to try and find good honest work in a place where temptation is not as easily succumbed to.
 
All sounds v positive Cartesia, having work grind you down can be a real problem and sometimes change is just what is needed to kick start life changing stuff.

I've done the same over the last couple of years and it has proven to be a positive move but no matter how many external things I change and situations I leave behind the same problem individual keeps following me around:sus:

All the best
 
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