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TDS Just when you think the worst is over...
- Thread starter Cartesia
- Start date
thanks... yeah. I think I'm starting to learn better, finally.. eventually. maybe.
I feel like this is it. Like something *is* different to the previous times...
but at the same time, I dont know if this is 'it' because I've fucked up after getting clean before. It's hard to be optimistic. Just trying to stay distracted. Trying to stay focused on the long term.
really. thanks. heaps.
I feel like this is it. Like something *is* different to the previous times...
but at the same time, I dont know if this is 'it' because I've fucked up after getting clean before. It's hard to be optimistic. Just trying to stay distracted. Trying to stay focused on the long term.
really. thanks. heaps.
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Day 3 of 1/4 dose once a day first thing in the morning (compared to full or 1.3x dose once or twice a day for the past few years)
Been sleeping pretty shitly, any relief will generally have warn off by 9-10pm, then watch videos till I'm worn at, wakeup at 6-7am. Trying to hold dose till later in the day so sleep is less affected but I can't. Gonna drop to 1/6 tomorrow, then 1/8, then either hold for a day or 2 or just try and cut completely.
Been sleeping pretty shitly, any relief will generally have warn off by 9-10pm, then watch videos till I'm worn at, wakeup at 6-7am. Trying to hold dose till later in the day so sleep is less affected but I can't. Gonna drop to 1/6 tomorrow, then 1/8, then either hold for a day or 2 or just try and cut completely.
You can do this
Everybody fails until they succeed..
We only ever fail if we quit trying...
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
Thomas A. Edison
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Thomas A. Edison
Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.
Denis Waitley
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
Winston Churchill
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
Michael Jordan
Everybody fails until they succeed..
We only ever fail if we quit trying...
Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.
Thomas A. Edison
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.
Thomas A. Edison
Failure should be our teacher, not our undertaker. Failure is delay, not defeat. It is a temporary detour, not a dead end. Failure is something we can avoid only by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing.
Denis Waitley
Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
Winston Churchill
I've failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.
Michael Jordan
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Hey sorry to keep bumping this up.. its more for myself at the moment.. reading back through this when I need to remember.
I'm still doin OK. The dexamphetamine is no problem, I've been off it mostly actually - when i get an urge to take something though I head for that or alcohol, rather than the painkillers.. Mostly.
I could've been off now, which is annoying.. But I know not to beat myself up about it anymore. It's gonna take as long as it takes. I'm definitely done with chasing the buzz now. I heard somewhere that most addicts if they make it through 5-10 years just clean up and reintegrate into society.. Definitely seems the case with me. I was wondering, maybe it's learning how to manage your dose longterm (ie not blowing your money on payday, and being on struggle-street all week), that teaches you the longterm ability to see beyond the addiction?
I'm hovering between 1/8th dose & 1/4 dose still.. Which while frustratingly I'm not getting further, I'm pretty happy with really. The end is coming. Even if I've been on 1/8th for a week, 1/4 doesnt really do much more for me. It doesnt set me back too far though either.
I guess I'm still dependant, but other areas of my life have been turning around... I'm finally discovering myself, something I never really think I got around to doing between hiding myself at school and going straight onto the drugs after...
Anyhow, thanks for all your kind words again....
I'm still doin OK. The dexamphetamine is no problem, I've been off it mostly actually - when i get an urge to take something though I head for that or alcohol, rather than the painkillers.. Mostly.
I could've been off now, which is annoying.. But I know not to beat myself up about it anymore. It's gonna take as long as it takes. I'm definitely done with chasing the buzz now. I heard somewhere that most addicts if they make it through 5-10 years just clean up and reintegrate into society.. Definitely seems the case with me. I was wondering, maybe it's learning how to manage your dose longterm (ie not blowing your money on payday, and being on struggle-street all week), that teaches you the longterm ability to see beyond the addiction?
I'm hovering between 1/8th dose & 1/4 dose still.. Which while frustratingly I'm not getting further, I'm pretty happy with really. The end is coming. Even if I've been on 1/8th for a week, 1/4 doesnt really do much more for me. It doesnt set me back too far though either.
I guess I'm still dependant, but other areas of my life have been turning around... I'm finally discovering myself, something I never really think I got around to doing between hiding myself at school and going straight onto the drugs after...
Anyhow, thanks for all your kind words again....
Hey sorry to keep bumping this up.. its more for myself at the moment.. reading back through this when I need to remember.
I'm still doin OK. The dexamphetamine is no problem, I've been off it mostly actually - when i get an urge to take something though I head for that or alcohol, rather than the painkillers.. Mostly.
I could've been off now, which is annoying.. But I know not to beat myself up about it anymore. It's gonna take as long as it takes. I'm definitely done with chasing the buzz now. I heard somewhere that most addicts if they make it through 5-10 years just clean up and reintegrate into society.. Definitely seems the case with me. I was wondering, maybe it's learning how to manage your dose longterm (ie not blowing your money on payday, and being on struggle-street all week), that teaches you the longterm ability to see beyond the addiction?
I'm hovering between 1/8th dose & 1/4 dose still.. Which while frustratingly I'm not getting further, I'm pretty happy with really. The end is coming. Even if I've been on 1/8th for a week, 1/4 doesnt really do much more for me. It doesnt set me back too far though either.
I guess I'm still dependant, but other areas of my life have been turning around... I'm finally discovering myself, something I never really think I got around to doing between hiding myself at school and going straight onto the drugs after...
Anyhow, thanks for all your kind words again....
Keep at it! It takes a lot of tries to get things right.....I know this all too well, I'm still trying myself. It's tough fighting the depression and bad moods. But it will all lift.
unsettled
Bluelighter
Thanks for posting this, I'm in a similar place at the moment. It can really be overwhelming at times. I severely underestimated the power of PAWS.
I think the dexedrine can be a lifesaver as long as it's not abused. I'm rx'd ritalin and tapering off of suboxone and the ritalin helps tons.
Sounds like you are doing great, better to go slow imo, I've suffered through quitting cold turkey enough times already and all it's ever gotten me was another opiate habit. But we're all different...
Keep on keepin' on...
I think the dexedrine can be a lifesaver as long as it's not abused. I'm rx'd ritalin and tapering off of suboxone and the ritalin helps tons.
Sounds like you are doing great, better to go slow imo, I've suffered through quitting cold turkey enough times already and all it's ever gotten me was another opiate habit. But we're all different...
Keep on keepin' on...
Fucking spanners in my fucking plans...
Im off the codeine, stims arent becoming a problem, or rather, weren't. Life is really good, at least in terms of my psychological/physical state, if not financially/etc..
Was introduced to smoking meth on the weekend. I've been around it ever since it became a more popular ROA in the early '00s, and been around meth forever... used to eat/snort it on occasional weekends, never a problem for me. Up till now though id always drawn a line though - no glass pipes, no needles.
anyway i guess i knew id try it eventually - my curiosity is overpowering - but what i wasnt expecting was how fucking good it would feel to come on that quickly compared to other ROAs.... blaaaaammmo.
I only had a couple hits but it's left a serious impression on me. What makes it worse are the people im getting to know in this crowd are really great. For the first time in my life i know people who are actually capable of expressing emotions/etc, and i really want to become good friends with them. Alot of them have dealt with addiction in the past as well and ive never had anyone to talk to about that side of my life.
I want to say I can handle it - they can (now...) but the way it made me feel scares the shit out of me. I dont have any uncontrollable urge to go get high tomorrow, or on my own.., but next time anyone else is up for it, Ill be there in a second...
This really scares me. I need people like this in my life. Its the first time ive had people like that who i really feel i can connect to and truely honestly open up to...ive had friends for 10-15 years who dont know 1/10th as much about me as these people ive been getting to know over the past few months. I think thats the real problem with this situation. Ive been desparately needing people like this my whole life and im much more afraid to let that pass me by than I am of any drug issues.
I dont think ill ever go back to opiates... but why this? now?
Fuck.
Advice?
Im off the codeine, stims arent becoming a problem, or rather, weren't. Life is really good, at least in terms of my psychological/physical state, if not financially/etc..
Was introduced to smoking meth on the weekend. I've been around it ever since it became a more popular ROA in the early '00s, and been around meth forever... used to eat/snort it on occasional weekends, never a problem for me. Up till now though id always drawn a line though - no glass pipes, no needles.
anyway i guess i knew id try it eventually - my curiosity is overpowering - but what i wasnt expecting was how fucking good it would feel to come on that quickly compared to other ROAs.... blaaaaammmo.
I only had a couple hits but it's left a serious impression on me. What makes it worse are the people im getting to know in this crowd are really great. For the first time in my life i know people who are actually capable of expressing emotions/etc, and i really want to become good friends with them. Alot of them have dealt with addiction in the past as well and ive never had anyone to talk to about that side of my life.
I want to say I can handle it - they can (now...) but the way it made me feel scares the shit out of me. I dont have any uncontrollable urge to go get high tomorrow, or on my own.., but next time anyone else is up for it, Ill be there in a second...
This really scares me. I need people like this in my life. Its the first time ive had people like that who i really feel i can connect to and truely honestly open up to...ive had friends for 10-15 years who dont know 1/10th as much about me as these people ive been getting to know over the past few months. I think thats the real problem with this situation. Ive been desparately needing people like this my whole life and im much more afraid to let that pass me by than I am of any drug issues.
I dont think ill ever go back to opiates... but why this? now?
Fuck.
Advice?
I'm really sorry to do this guys and bump my own thread but I need some opinions on the situation...
I want these people in my life so badly . I NEED people of this type, I've never met any like it before, so I don't know if I ever will again. This goes to my core issues that trigger alot of my drug use to begin with.. I NEED people like this. these are real, emotionally mature, open, loving, caring people. I've known them plenty outside of this weekend, so its not like this is just the drugs making them seem that way.
My brain is rationalising things too... "Even if you do get addicted, you won't get sick when you quit, this will be easy" "Its too expensive, you can't afford to get addicted" "alot of these guys have overcome meth addiction , so you're in good hands"
but the biggest one is just... "Id rather be addicted and be able to share my true feelings/sort my life out honestly/be loved"
I dont plan on getting addicted, in fact the main risk for me is probably crashing out and reverting back to opiates midweek or something. I do have to say that smoking meth psychologically has a MUCH stronger instant pull to it than opiates. Opiates i took to escape the world, then later to not be sick. It felt fucking amazing, but i wasnt so much drawn to it by passion as i felt i was forced into taking it to deal/relieve. Meth made me want to take it the day after i tried it because it was that fucking good when it hit me...
I want these people in my life so badly . I NEED people of this type, I've never met any like it before, so I don't know if I ever will again. This goes to my core issues that trigger alot of my drug use to begin with.. I NEED people like this. these are real, emotionally mature, open, loving, caring people. I've known them plenty outside of this weekend, so its not like this is just the drugs making them seem that way.
My brain is rationalising things too... "Even if you do get addicted, you won't get sick when you quit, this will be easy" "Its too expensive, you can't afford to get addicted" "alot of these guys have overcome meth addiction , so you're in good hands"
but the biggest one is just... "Id rather be addicted and be able to share my true feelings/sort my life out honestly/be loved"
I dont plan on getting addicted, in fact the main risk for me is probably crashing out and reverting back to opiates midweek or something. I do have to say that smoking meth psychologically has a MUCH stronger instant pull to it than opiates. Opiates i took to escape the world, then later to not be sick. It felt fucking amazing, but i wasnt so much drawn to it by passion as i felt i was forced into taking it to deal/relieve. Meth made me want to take it the day after i tried it because it was that fucking good when it hit me...
footscrazy
Bluelight Crew
Hey, what a tricky situation. Obviously you have identified the dangers of methamphetamine. It really is so powerful. I know you know it's not a good road to go down - the pull you feel now will only get stronger the longer you use meth. I find the feeling of craving so unbearable, and methamphetamine can invoke cravings so powerful they can be incapacitating, physical, mental, and just so unbearable. Quitting was truly one of the hardest things I have ever done. I felt really strongly that that time quitting was my last time - if I ever get back on, I don't think I'll ever get back off. Even now, almost 3 years down the track, I still get horrible cravings. I feel it's negatively affected my life in many ways, things I'll never get back. I know though that hearing this stuff can only really be intellectual and it's only really what you know and feel that can hold power. But I think you do know that keeping on doing it won't lead anywhere good.
I do think it's important to stay really conscious of your decisions. It's really easy to make 'seemingly irrelevant decisions', like, seeing those friends, and just ignoring the thought that they could have meth on them, and not having any plan for what you'll do if they do whip it out. I think it will help to have a plan - to always be aware of where your decisions could lead (even if they seem harmless), and have thought through in advance what you'll do or say if the situation arises.
As for those friends, it is a hard one. Is it possible that you could tell them not to use around you, to do things that don't involve methamphetamine with you? True friends would respect that. I have friends that still use methamphetamine, my boyfriend does from time to time, but the arrangement is they never use around me, and that works. My opinion is that the risk of methamphetamine outweighs having these people in your life, if you can't see them away from the drug, but of course that's your decision to make. I would just recommend going in with your eyes open - if you make the decision to see them, and keep using, do it consciously, having fully thought out where it is likely to lead and accepting that.
I do think it's important to stay really conscious of your decisions. It's really easy to make 'seemingly irrelevant decisions', like, seeing those friends, and just ignoring the thought that they could have meth on them, and not having any plan for what you'll do if they do whip it out. I think it will help to have a plan - to always be aware of where your decisions could lead (even if they seem harmless), and have thought through in advance what you'll do or say if the situation arises.
As for those friends, it is a hard one. Is it possible that you could tell them not to use around you, to do things that don't involve methamphetamine with you? True friends would respect that. I have friends that still use methamphetamine, my boyfriend does from time to time, but the arrangement is they never use around me, and that works. My opinion is that the risk of methamphetamine outweighs having these people in your life, if you can't see them away from the drug, but of course that's your decision to make. I would just recommend going in with your eyes open - if you make the decision to see them, and keep using, do it consciously, having fully thought out where it is likely to lead and accepting that.
I think that getting into meth to because the people you have met seem like people you need in your life will create a situation that will personify the title of your thread "Just when you think the worst is over..."
Yes. Highly likely neversick... i guess its just another case of desire over will.. but partly due to my past life, i feel more powerfully drawn by wanting these people than by drugs...
My entire 8 year addiction i was alone. Nobody getting high with me, nobody i was around knowing i was getting high, no lover, noone to lean on a shoulder. I would cry wishing someone could hear... my heart ached for just one person to spend honst time with even for a little time here and there.. now i meet a whole bunch of the most lovely, caring, honest people ive ever known!
Im going into that. Im not passing it up, but i am going to try and stay out of the meth game. Ive told them about my past... theyre the first people irl ive felt comfortable doing tha with. Im going to tell them i dont think i can handle weekending it like they can... i think theyre truely good, and theyll help me with that by not letting me get on it. I dont mind them using around me.. honestly if i cant control my urge then, im screwed anyway because i know i can just arrange to be around them when they are doing it.
Luckily i dont have any connections of my own for meth these days, thereve been times the past 2 weeks where i would have gone out bought a pipe and flown into oblivion for sure. I tried but really am that far out of the scene now after having only needed pharmacies all this time., i didnt want to ask thee new friends about getting it of them a day after trying it because i knew theyd see through any lame junky excuse i made up.
I just realise now they wouldnt even judge me for that at all even though they would know whatsup j and i should be perfectly honest with them about my feelings... im a little fucked up that way, from having a harshly antidrug upbringing, and trust issues reaching right to my core ehhhhh.. these people are amazingly the opposite and its helping me to recognise and share what i would normally bury, hide and bottle up.
The worst part of times since trying the meth was running out of dex and going straight back on the opoates hard for the past week or 2. I tore through my complete dex stock in a few days trying to reach the place meth took me! Of course it didnt. Probably good that i did get a break from amps though after trying the meth, to cool my head. Opiate sickness is horrid, but in terms of raw psychological force... smoking meth, wow. Next level addictive.
going backwards with the opes sucks, beat myself up alot and lost alot of ground in my newly built life.. esp coming off all the amps. couldnt get out of bed till afternoon, or shower many days...
now through a minor miracle i have a small stash of dex to get me through and am back to the very minor responsible dose i should be onand winding right back off the opes.. picking up whee i was before the blowout. 2 weeks fucked my ope tolerance up quickly but i dont seem more addicted than i was then by much. I dont have much dex but its enough to end things.
Im also trying to get involved with this group midweek/etc. They work mon-fri , so its a chance to get to know them in nonaddiction potential situations.
Its very damn hard.. i never learnt to overcome my social anxiety sober, but they have been so lovely.. im tearing up at the thought that there are in fact people like that in the world and they think im worth their time 27 years it took to find them.
Sorry to rant.. still without an irl outlet for all this, still find this a good way to collect my thoughts and strengthen my resolve.
I want to say a huge personal thanks to those of you who've taken the time out to read this gargantuan thread of mine and respond.. when things get shitty bluelight has always been here.. however small a comment may seem, on the writer's end, to the reader , checking back a while after things turn sour in life j and seeing a few words of wisdom or encouragement can be all it takes to turn a freefall out of control spiral into the resolve needed to start climbing back up that ladder.
you guys are the best, seriously! Neversick, footscrazy, and the rest who are too many to name over all the years.. youve played an influential positive role in at least one life
Inspiring really! if theres ever anything i can do or you need an ear - and this goes for ANYONE on bluelight, even if youre reading this and ive never even heard of you - but especially you whove helped me so much: Please please please dont stay silent. I was there for too many years. I will help you with absolutely whatever, however i can. Online or irl. Nothing in this world is too much of an imposition to me.. I *want* to be needed. (Oh yes, so needy...
)
Soooo... ive still got a ways to go, but ive been so close i could taste the freedom, numerous times over the past six months! ... ill be sure to report back... i want this thread to have a happy ending
///
Oh wow, got a bit emotional there sorry.. goodness that's a post and a half! Off to bed for me.
My entire 8 year addiction i was alone. Nobody getting high with me, nobody i was around knowing i was getting high, no lover, noone to lean on a shoulder. I would cry wishing someone could hear... my heart ached for just one person to spend honst time with even for a little time here and there.. now i meet a whole bunch of the most lovely, caring, honest people ive ever known!
Im going into that. Im not passing it up, but i am going to try and stay out of the meth game. Ive told them about my past... theyre the first people irl ive felt comfortable doing tha with. Im going to tell them i dont think i can handle weekending it like they can... i think theyre truely good, and theyll help me with that by not letting me get on it. I dont mind them using around me.. honestly if i cant control my urge then, im screwed anyway because i know i can just arrange to be around them when they are doing it.
Luckily i dont have any connections of my own for meth these days, thereve been times the past 2 weeks where i would have gone out bought a pipe and flown into oblivion for sure. I tried but really am that far out of the scene now after having only needed pharmacies all this time., i didnt want to ask thee new friends about getting it of them a day after trying it because i knew theyd see through any lame junky excuse i made up.
I just realise now they wouldnt even judge me for that at all even though they would know whatsup j and i should be perfectly honest with them about my feelings... im a little fucked up that way, from having a harshly antidrug upbringing, and trust issues reaching right to my core ehhhhh.. these people are amazingly the opposite and its helping me to recognise and share what i would normally bury, hide and bottle up.
The worst part of times since trying the meth was running out of dex and going straight back on the opoates hard for the past week or 2. I tore through my complete dex stock in a few days trying to reach the place meth took me! Of course it didnt. Probably good that i did get a break from amps though after trying the meth, to cool my head. Opiate sickness is horrid, but in terms of raw psychological force... smoking meth, wow. Next level addictive.
going backwards with the opes sucks, beat myself up alot and lost alot of ground in my newly built life.. esp coming off all the amps. couldnt get out of bed till afternoon, or shower many days...
now through a minor miracle i have a small stash of dex to get me through and am back to the very minor responsible dose i should be onand winding right back off the opes.. picking up whee i was before the blowout. 2 weeks fucked my ope tolerance up quickly but i dont seem more addicted than i was then by much. I dont have much dex but its enough to end things.
Im also trying to get involved with this group midweek/etc. They work mon-fri , so its a chance to get to know them in nonaddiction potential situations.
Its very damn hard.. i never learnt to overcome my social anxiety sober, but they have been so lovely.. im tearing up at the thought that there are in fact people like that in the world and they think im worth their time
27 years it took to find them.Sorry to rant.. still without an irl outlet for all this, still find this a good way to collect my thoughts and strengthen my resolve.
I want to say a huge personal thanks to those of you who've taken the time out to read this gargantuan thread of mine and respond.. when things get shitty bluelight has always been here.. however small a comment may seem, on the writer's end, to the reader , checking back a while after things turn sour in life j and seeing a few words of wisdom or encouragement can be all it takes to turn a freefall out of control spiral into the resolve needed to start climbing back up that ladder.
you guys are the best, seriously! Neversick, footscrazy, and the rest who are too many to name over all the years.. youve played an influential positive role in at least one life
Inspiring really! if theres ever anything i can do or you need an ear - and this goes for ANYONE on bluelight, even if youre reading this and ive never even heard of you - but especially you whove helped me so much: Please please please dont stay silent. I was there for too many years. I will help you with absolutely whatever, however i can. Online or irl. Nothing in this world is too much of an imposition to me.. I *want* to be needed. (Oh yes, so needy...
)Soooo... ive still got a ways to go, but ive been so close i could taste the freedom, numerous times over the past six months! ... ill be sure to report back... i want this thread to have a happy ending
///
Oh wow, got a bit emotional there sorry.. goodness that's a post and a half! Off to bed for me.
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Why not just stick to the reg amps and not do the meth.. meth has a tendency to destroy people pretty quick. I always think of a person I met on my travels, he was a fifty year old, bright and hard working guy.. but by the time I met him he had lost everything to the meth.. family, job, teeth, marriage, house DL license and almost his life as someone had chopped him in the head with a hatchet. I remember stopping buy his apartment one night and he had decided to flip it upside down and had spent the eight hours previously attaching everything upside down to the ceiling.. he didn't quite feel like he had got it right because even though everything was now perfectly arranged and fixed upside down to the ceiling.. the cupboards were throwing everything off as they were still right side up.. I dont think I ever saw him again and I wonder if he decided to flip those over as well. I have a picture somewhere of this and If i run across it I will post it.
Yes im stayin away from the meth well thats the plan...
Im doing fine with the low dose dex, its just.. i have to come off that in not long, im not sure how ill handle no drugs. Alcohol works for social occasions but not daily in terms of driving/work/etc... we shall see i guess
well thats the plan...Im doing fine with the low dose dex, its just.. i have to come off that in not long, im not sure how ill handle no drugs. Alcohol works for social occasions but not daily in terms of driving/work/etc... we shall see i guess
Ehhh, tonight i found out my boss uses meth. He showed it to me. It was the best looking meth Ive ever seen. I was surprised by how cheap he got it.
I guess if this thread teaches me one thing, it should be that life doesn't get easy at some point.. in fact if anything it gets harder! If i cant handle this level, how am I going to cope with responsibilities like mortgages, relationships, etc - on top of normal life?
Damn. Im gonna get drunk! usually doesnt solve anything, but at least I will stop thinking about other things for a little while......
I guess if this thread teaches me one thing, it should be that life doesn't get easy at some point.. in fact if anything it gets harder! If i cant handle this level, how am I going to cope with responsibilities like mortgages, relationships, etc - on top of normal life?
Damn. Im gonna get drunk! usually doesnt solve anything, but at least I will stop thinking about other things for a little while......
footscrazy
Bluelight Crew
^ I always find that life tries to test you at times like this! The amount of times I've tried to stop using drugs, and only then had completely unexpected offers of said drugs, old friends coming out of the woodwork willing to shout back an old debt, or stumbling upon a new awesome connection - I couldn't count, but it never seems to happen when I'm using drugs! Or when I moved interstate to the NT, for a fresh start, away from old temptations, and within days randomly met some of the relatively few people getting heroin and other drugs up there. You're exactly right - I don't reckon you can ever completely avoid it - and it's amazing the amount of people who use drugs that you never would've suspected. But each time you can deal with it, turn it down and stick to your guns - I reckon it makes you a bit stronger, and makes turning it down the next time easier. Sometimes what helps me is just to think that, these drugs will still be there even if I turn this down now. It's not a last chance offer kind of thing, where you'll never again be able to access it if you don't take it up right now.
Thanks for the words in your post up there too, and the offer of support. It goes for you too, or anyone. There are so many good people here - I think on a whole, with all the stereotypical prejudices that abound about drug users, people here are better at looking past the surface, and seeing things in shades of grey rather than in black and white. It's good to know that there are real people here that give a shit.
Thanks for the words in your post up there too, and the offer of support. It goes for you too, or anyone. There are so many good people here - I think on a whole, with all the stereotypical prejudices that abound about drug users, people here are better at looking past the surface, and seeing things in shades of grey rather than in black and white. It's good to know that there are real people here that give a shit.
hunter1
Bluelighter
And life seemed so easy early on... Party's were party's and I'm just having my allocated time of my life... Lol
Cut straight to point. I'm prescribed Ritalin so I have a decent idea of you're situation.
I'm no angel though. Done 5 rehabs and detoxes and all the wisdom and knowledge And insightful comments mean fuck all.
If we met in real life it's very unlikely that you'd even think twice that I may be a hopeless addict. Fancy car, cloths and well groomed and Inteligent and personable ect...
I'm still in active addiction in varying degrees.
I've said this before on bluelight but lll repeat it again.
I've made 2 good drug decisions in my life. That's about it.
1. Never done ice/ meth. 2. Got off methadone in 3 months.
That's it.
Re meth. I know me. Every single weekend warrior I've known who could consume ungodly amounts of MDMA/ Smack and stay up fri- Mon and go back to work every Monday in very high paying careers and it not effect their work/ life in any noticeable measure. As soon as they got started with Ice it was a different ball game altogether.
Very quickly and almost 100% of them are a shell of who they were. No job. No life. Ice is all they think about.
Never seen anything like it. Never seen a drug universally fuck people's lives up completely so fast.
People with mountains more self control than me
Cut straight to point. I'm prescribed Ritalin so I have a decent idea of you're situation.
I'm no angel though. Done 5 rehabs and detoxes and all the wisdom and knowledge And insightful comments mean fuck all.
If we met in real life it's very unlikely that you'd even think twice that I may be a hopeless addict. Fancy car, cloths and well groomed and Inteligent and personable ect...
I'm still in active addiction in varying degrees.
I've said this before on bluelight but lll repeat it again.
I've made 2 good drug decisions in my life. That's about it.
1. Never done ice/ meth. 2. Got off methadone in 3 months.
That's it.
Re meth. I know me. Every single weekend warrior I've known who could consume ungodly amounts of MDMA/ Smack and stay up fri- Mon and go back to work every Monday in very high paying careers and it not effect their work/ life in any noticeable measure. As soon as they got started with Ice it was a different ball game altogether.
Very quickly and almost 100% of them are a shell of who they were. No job. No life. Ice is all they think about.
Never seen anything like it. Never seen a drug universally fuck people's lives up completely so fast.
People with mountains more self control than me
hunter1
Bluelighter
Sounds like a smart decision.
I've been on and off Subs a few times and I've come to much the same conclusion. Been on 2mg now for 9 months. At 2mg it has no effect on my mental or physical health. It's enough to completely write opiates out of the equation. One less drug to worry about. The visiting the pharmacy twice a week and not being able to travel for more than a couple of weeks are the only issues.
Always am amazed at how many people I've met in rehab/ detoxes that have massive smack/ opiate addictions that can be held easily at 8mg or less and don't have any travel plans that always desperately want to get off bupe ASAP. They end up back on smack within a week and on and on...
I don't understand why they don't just take it for 6 months before jumping off. You can get a lot of life change done in 6 months..