My writing seems to pour out when I am tired beyond tired. And after three 12 hour shifts pair with restless leg syndrome I am going on about 4 hours of sleep in the last 2 days and feel like writing another blog.
In recent news, a young girl died after drinking 2 monster energy drinks. Normally it would just be another blip in the endless tragedies that fill the news these days. But this one hit bit closer to home. If you read my other blog you would know that I am a former MDMA user. It’s been 12 years but and I have all but lost hope of ever getting to sample that lovely chemical again. And that girl’s story is another nail in the coffin of my dream of using MDMA again. I heard the story again today on the radio as I was going in to work. I tuned it out as I thought it was just another recap of what I already heard but a word in peaked my interest again. I heard the word “regurgitation” and began to listen intently.
I did not hear the exact heart problem the girl suffered from that, paired with an excessive amount of caffeine, caused her unfortunate demise but the only one I know that the word regurgitation fits with is mitral valve prolapse with regurgitation. Guess who has that, yours truly. So my MDMA dream is most possibly a death sentence.
Don’t get me wrong, I know taking drugs is inherently dangerous and I have been told by doctors that my condition can be aggravated by stims but this is the first hard evidence I have seen that it is possibly fatal to combine stimulants with MVP. Before now I believed that I could get away with taking reasonable amounts of MDMA in a controlled setting. I can exercise as much as I want. I use to drink A LOT of caffeinated drinks. So much so that the constant elevated sugar level was pushing my pancreas to its limit. I rarely drink them now just to avoid the sugar but after being away from them for a good long while I can feel my heart thumping hard and fluttering about. I get days where it dose that for no reason at all too so I suck it up and go on like it isn’t there.
Now with the recent outing of “The Silk Road” I finally have a way to get MDMA. When the news first broke about The Silk Road I saw some threads here saying it shouldn’t be trusted and that LEOs would be all over it. I am sure that is the case but the 97% success rate of product deliveries and the fact that I am desperate to get molly makes me think that the risk is worth the reward. There are literally thousands of people on reddit telling of success and I think one more fish in the sea isn’t going to get noticed. I was in! I was getting money together and going to get bit coins and take a shot at it. Needless to say, with this little girl’s passing I have slight reservations now.
I still think I would be fine. I recently had a physical for a new job where the nurse practitioner was delighted to find out that I have MVP so that she could let her students listen. She jumped at the chance to listen to my heart through her stethoscope. She listened and listened and said she could barely hear the tell tail click that give away my hidden ailment. So apparently my case is milder than most. I can still drink caffeine without much more and a little discomfort at times but most of the time I don’t feel a thing. I smoke like a chimney and it’s the same way. Now these are mild stims at best and spread out throughout the day not a huge amount in one go. But taking MDMA is a whole other ballgame. The choice is mine to make. Take the risk with the Spector of that girl’s death looming in my mind or stay on the long, mundane, and boring road I have become accustom to? THE SUSPENCE BUILDS!
In recent news, a young girl died after drinking 2 monster energy drinks. Normally it would just be another blip in the endless tragedies that fill the news these days. But this one hit bit closer to home. If you read my other blog you would know that I am a former MDMA user. It’s been 12 years but and I have all but lost hope of ever getting to sample that lovely chemical again. And that girl’s story is another nail in the coffin of my dream of using MDMA again. I heard the story again today on the radio as I was going in to work. I tuned it out as I thought it was just another recap of what I already heard but a word in peaked my interest again. I heard the word “regurgitation” and began to listen intently.
I did not hear the exact heart problem the girl suffered from that, paired with an excessive amount of caffeine, caused her unfortunate demise but the only one I know that the word regurgitation fits with is mitral valve prolapse with regurgitation. Guess who has that, yours truly. So my MDMA dream is most possibly a death sentence.
Don’t get me wrong, I know taking drugs is inherently dangerous and I have been told by doctors that my condition can be aggravated by stims but this is the first hard evidence I have seen that it is possibly fatal to combine stimulants with MVP. Before now I believed that I could get away with taking reasonable amounts of MDMA in a controlled setting. I can exercise as much as I want. I use to drink A LOT of caffeinated drinks. So much so that the constant elevated sugar level was pushing my pancreas to its limit. I rarely drink them now just to avoid the sugar but after being away from them for a good long while I can feel my heart thumping hard and fluttering about. I get days where it dose that for no reason at all too so I suck it up and go on like it isn’t there.
Now with the recent outing of “The Silk Road” I finally have a way to get MDMA. When the news first broke about The Silk Road I saw some threads here saying it shouldn’t be trusted and that LEOs would be all over it. I am sure that is the case but the 97% success rate of product deliveries and the fact that I am desperate to get molly makes me think that the risk is worth the reward. There are literally thousands of people on reddit telling of success and I think one more fish in the sea isn’t going to get noticed. I was in! I was getting money together and going to get bit coins and take a shot at it. Needless to say, with this little girl’s passing I have slight reservations now.
I still think I would be fine. I recently had a physical for a new job where the nurse practitioner was delighted to find out that I have MVP so that she could let her students listen. She jumped at the chance to listen to my heart through her stethoscope. She listened and listened and said she could barely hear the tell tail click that give away my hidden ailment. So apparently my case is milder than most. I can still drink caffeine without much more and a little discomfort at times but most of the time I don’t feel a thing. I smoke like a chimney and it’s the same way. Now these are mild stims at best and spread out throughout the day not a huge amount in one go. But taking MDMA is a whole other ballgame. The choice is mine to make. Take the risk with the Spector of that girl’s death looming in my mind or stay on the long, mundane, and boring road I have become accustom to? THE SUSPENCE BUILDS!
