Just wanted to try venting

[DieselNDope]

I never thought I'd have the will to actually attempt to vent this but today I'm posting it whether it be right or wrong whether I'm seen as a sniveling cry baby or a little girl but I'm at my end.

I got with this woman when I was 16 she was 32 and only stuck it out because I got her pregnant. I married her in October 2021 and the biggest reason why is because she refused to put my name on my son's birth certificate unless I did so and I finally gave in because I love him and I want at least one person that cares about me to share my name ...By December 2021 I found out she had been lying for so long...pretty sure she's talking to guys for money and apparently has been selling pictures of herself online for money too...she drained my accounts spent 5k out of my checking account alone and over a 6 /8 month span took loans out in my name equivalent to approx 16k.
One was as high as 6k at 30% which in all reality idk how the hell that's even legal.. Apparently from what bank statements show she has been doing this for over a year and I've even found old credit cards back in 2018 in my name (i've never had a credit card)
Yes I know it's my fault I should have kept up better with my finances but I've always made all the money she pays the bills with it and gets what we need/want.
I filed for identity theft and since she used my name and used my accounts to make at least 1 payment they will not classify it as identity theft even though I have shown proof of texts and emails.

I got depressed and stopped showing her affection immediately.. within a few weeks her constantly belittling me I just snapped... She was telling everyone different lies and saying I didn't ever love her I was going to beat her she was scared of me etc....so I took her iphone 11 that I paid for and smashed it on the ground... She. Called the cops by telling the neighbor I hit her. Cops showed said no signs of her being hit but I should probably leave... So I did, which started real problems....

I moved out and she started keeping my son from seeing me in any way possible...about 4 months later she had some guy texting me saying how he's going to take care of my kids and be their daddy and how he's at the house and going to take them to a movie...well I said fuck it no man's going to be around my kids if I'm not allowed to so I drove to the house that I own (only in my name) and tried to open the door...it was locked so I kicked it in....found no one in the house yelled a little told my done I loved and missed him and rolled out...well long story short I went to jail...

Every friend I had she has turned against me. She texts and calls and emails everyone, even people I do not know..causing problems in their relationships, their jobs, even their landlords...saying it's because of me... after the 7 months mark of her trying too get me fired from my job I finally had to quit... They were just tired of it and it got to be so bad that management would try not to speak with me.

She keeps my kids from me and texts me hateful belittling shit to me on an hourly basis... I've blocked probably 50 #s and she just uses a different number to text and call withing minutes...

when I quit my job a month back someone damaged my toolbox and stole a bunch of tools, some tools worth hundreds each. The job will not even respond to me and just like I can't afford a lawyer for a divorce I can't afford one to do anything about my toolbox or tools. I have been gone around 8 months I have paid every bill and given most of my checks to her (via cashier's check for proof of child support... it's what the lawyers told me to do) but no lawyer will take my case unless they get 3000-4500$ as a retainer.

Now I have no job, no place to stay, and have resulted back to hustlin and side jobs to pay the bills. She begs me to come back every day but when I have tried she ends up acting crazy because I won't be intimate with her and ultimately gets the cops called on me. There's another 100 paragraphs about missing segments of this shit I could explain but just like this...its a waste of time...

I don't know what to do anymore. We have had similar things happen in the past and I just want my kids to be taken care of. She refused to get a job over the last 8 years I can't get another job because she will just ruin it. If I go back she will just get me put in jail for domestics again even though I've never hit her. I don't want to be with her but I miss my kids.
I don't want pity I just want to put something out there to get it off my chest. There's so much I've missed and didn't go into any detail into most things but I'm just done...
I'm just so fucking lost anymore.

 

[Jerry Atrick]

@DieselNDope I'm really sorry you are experiencing this. I wish there was some advice I could give but this seems like a case in which I have no experience being married, having kids, or really any of what you are going through. Just wanted you to know that we are here to listen and you are welcome to vent any time you want.

I'm going to move this thread to The Dark Side since I don't think it has much to do with Mental Health. Please feel free to send me a PM if you have any questions.

MH -> TDS

 

[n3ophy7e]

I never thought I'd have the will to actually attempt to vent this but today I'm posting it whether it be right or wrong whether I'm seen as a sniveling cry baby or a little girl but I'm at my end.

I got with this woman when I was 16 she was 32 and only stuck it out because I got her pregnant. I married her in October 2021 and the biggest reason why is because she refused to put my name on my son's birth certificate unless I did so and I finally gave in because I love him and I want at least one person that cares about me to share my name ...By December 2021 I found out she had been lying for so long...pretty sure she's talking to guys for money and apparently has been selling pictures of herself online for money too...she drained my accounts spent 5k out of my checking account alone and over a 6 /8 month span took loans out in my name equivalent to approx 16k.
One was as high as 6k at 30% which in all reality idk how the hell that's even legal.. Apparently from what bank statements show she has been doing this for over a year and I've even found old credit cards back in 2018 in my name (i've never had a credit card)
Yes I know it's my fault I should have kept up better with my finances but I've always made all the money she pays the bills with it and gets what we need/want.
I filed for identity theft and since she used my name and used my accounts to make at least 1 payment they will not classify it as identity theft even though I have shown proof of texts and emails.

I got depressed and stopped showing her affection immediately.. within a few weeks her constantly belittling me I just snapped... She was telling everyone different lies and saying I didn't ever love her I was going to beat her she was scared of me etc....so I took her iphone 11 that I paid for and smashed it on the ground... She. Called the cops by telling the neighbor I hit her. Cops showed said no signs of her being hit but I should probably leave... So I did, which started real problems....

I moved out and she started keeping my son from seeing me in any way possible...about 4 months later she had some guy texting me saying how he's going to take care of my kids and be their daddy and how he's at the house and going to take them to a movie...well I said fuck it no man's going to be around my kids if I'm not allowed to so I drove to the house that I own (only in my name) and tried to open the door...it was locked so I kicked it in....found no one in the house yelled a little told my done I loved and missed him and rolled out...well long story short I went to jail...

Every friend I had she has turned against me. She texts and calls and emails everyone, even people I do not know..causing problems in their relationships, their jobs, even their landlords...saying it's because of me... after the 7 months mark of her trying too get me fired from my job I finally had to quit... They were just tired of it and it got to be so bad that management would try not to speak with me.

She keeps my kids from me and texts me hateful belittling shit to me on an hourly basis... I've blocked probably 50 #s and she just uses a different number to text and call withing minutes...

when I quit my job a month back someone damaged my toolbox and stole a bunch of tools, some tools worth hundreds each. The job will not even respond to me and just like I can't afford a lawyer for a divorce I can't afford one to do anything about my toolbox or tools. I have been gone around 8 months I have paid every bill and given most of my checks to her (via cashier's check for proof of child support... it's what the lawyers told me to do) but no lawyer will take my case unless they get 3000-4500$ as a retainer.

Now I have no job, no place to stay, and have resulted back to hustlin and side jobs to pay the bills. She begs me to come back every day but when I have tried she ends up acting crazy because I won't be intimate with her and ultimately gets the cops called on me. There's another 100 paragraphs about missing segments of this shit I could explain but just like this...its a waste of time...

I don't know what to do anymore. We have had similar things happen in the past and I just want my kids to be taken care of. She refused to get a job over the last 8 years I can't get another job because she will just ruin it. If I go back she will just get me put in jail for domestics again even though I've never hit her. I don't want to be with her but I miss my kids.
I don't want pity I just want to put something out there to get it off my chest. There's so much I've missed and didn't go into any detail into most things but I'm just done...
I'm just so fucking lost anymore.

Mate, you were well overdue for this vent. And it was well justified. It does NOT make you weak or like a "little girl" to need to vent your emotions sometimes, especially when you've been subjected to such HORRENDOUS ABUSE for so many years!!!!! And that's exactly what this has been. You, my friend, are the victim of full blown narcissistic abuse. She is an evil piece of shit and I am so fucking sorry that you have had to suffer through this.

My advice to you is that if you want to see your kids, you absolutely must play this sensibly, be the good guy in this situation. Don't do anything stupid, don't go over there uninvited otherwise the cops will come and take you away and they have every right to legally. Make sure you understand your legal rights and what you can and cannot do, and seek some legal aid to find out what to do so you can work out how to get partial custody for the future.

And always vent here as much as you want/need to, that's what we're here for! It doesn't make you any less of a person for needing support! In fact it only makes you stronger and more courageous to reach out for help when you need it. Always remember that dude.

 

[DieselNDope]

Thank you both for support.. I appreciate it very much.

 

[n3ophy7e]

Thank you both for support.. I appreciate it very much.

Please keep us updated with your situation, we're here for you.

 

[PtahTek]

I'm just so fucking lost anymore.

Man I think I have been through every situation as you at some point though never had children.
If ya can just stay alive things change and there are brighter days. From experience I can say that this is true.
I am sorry to read that you are going through all this as it's like revisiting my past... and I fuckin cry a lot (right now from reading this for instance).
I will tear up in public places sometimes and get "looks" but most know to stay the fuck away from me at these times but those who really gaf will approach and somehow bring some light with them.
It's weird, man, but life is strange and if we can stay alive it forms eventually an individual of strength and love that cannot be beaten down regardless of wtf is going on.
I love ya, bro.
Table will turn eventually and keep turning so that old ass saying "its all good" is bullshit so dont believe it. My response...? Its all good til it turns bad.
Ups and downs.
Best to you and just hunker down til the bombs stop falling then keep low and moving forward.

 

[DieselNDope]

Man I think I have been through every situation as you at some point though never had children.
If ya can just stay alive things change and there are brighter days. From experience I can say that this is true.
I am sorry to read that you are going through all this as it's like revisiting my past... and I fuckin cry a lot (right now from reading this for instance).
I will tear up in public places sometimes and get "looks" but most know to stay the fuck away from me at these times but those who really gaf will approach and somehow bring some light with them.
It's weird, man, but life is strange and if we can stay alive it forms eventually an individual of strength and love that cannot be beaten down regardless of wtf is going on.
I love ya, bro.
Table will turn eventually and keep turning so that old ass saying "its all good" is bullshit so dont believe it. My response...? Its all good til it turns bad.
Ups and downs.
Best to you and just hunker down til the bombs stop falling then keep low and moving forward.

I appreciate it man. Really means alot from all of you with any sort of kindness. Shits rough and some times I just can't see a silver lining only hell. I thought with time it would be better 8 months later I'm worse off then I was when I first found out about all the shit she did.
I'll just have to weather the storm. It'll pass one day I hope.

 

[PtahTek]

some times I just can't see a silver lining only hell.

It will pass, bro, if ya stay with it.
Went through years of that darkness and hell.... There will be shafts of light that will pierce that darkness ya gotta look for them and head that way. Those clouds seem to never clear but we can stand in shafts of light once in a while and revive. They are there... look for them, brother.


check the lyrics

"
[Intro]
You should believe me

[Verse 1]
My time coming, any day
Don't worry about me, no
It's been so long I felt this way
I ain't in no hurry, no
Rainbows end down that highway
Where ocean breezes blow
My time coming, voices saying
They tell me where to go
[Chorus]
California
Preaching on the burning shore
California
I'll be knocking on the golden door
You're like an angel
Standing in a shaft of light
(Standing in a shaft of light)
Just like an angel
Rising up to paradise (Paradise)
I know I'm going to shine (Shine)
Yes (Shine)

[Verse 2]
My time coming, any day
Don't worry about me, no
It's gonna be just like they say
Them voices tell me so
Seems so long I felt this way
And time sure passin' slow
Still I know I lead the way
They tell me where I go

[Chorus]
California (California)
A prophet on the burning shore
California (California)
I will be knocking on the golden door, knock, knock
You're like an angel
Standing in a shaft of light
(Standing in a shaft of light)
Just like an angel (Like an angel)
Rising up to paradise (Paradise)
I know I'm going to shine (Shine)
Yes (Shine)

[Bridge]
You've all been asleep, you would not believe me (Wake up)
Them voices telling me, them voices
You will soon receive me (Receive me)
We are standing on the beach, the sea will part before me
Fire wheel burning in the air
(Fire wheel burning in the air)
Fire (Burning)
(Way up in the middle of the air)
You will follow me and we will ride to glory
(Way up in the middle of the air)
We will ride to glory, glory, glory
(Way up in the middle of the air)
Way up in the middle of the air
And I'll call down thunder on the rebel
And speak, speak the same
And my work fills the sky with flames, burning flames
And might and glory going to be my name
And men gonna light my way (Light my way)
Along the way (Light my way)
Light my way

[Verse 3]
My time coming, any day
Don't worry about me, no
It's gonna be just like they say
Them voices tell me so
Seems so long I felt this way
And time sure passin' slow

[Outro]
I am in no hurry, oh no no
I have nowhere to go
(Way up in the middle of the air)
(Way up in the middle of the air)
My time coming
(Way up in the middle of the air)"

 

[DieselNDope]

It will pass, bro, if ya stay with it.
Went through years of that darkness and hell.... There will be shafts of light that will pierce that darkness ya gotta look for them and head that way. Those clouds seem to never clear but we can stand in shafts of light once in a while and revive. They are there... look for them, brother.


check the lyrics

"
[Intro]
You should believe me

[Verse 1]
My time coming, any day
Don't worry about me, no
It's been so long I felt this way
I ain't in no hurry, no
Rainbows end down that highway
Where ocean breezes blow
My time coming, voices saying
They tell me where to go
[Chorus]
California
Preaching on the burning shore
California
I'll be knocking on the golden door
You're like an angel
Standing in a shaft of light
(Standing in a shaft of light)
Just like an angel
Rising up to paradise (Paradise)
I know I'm going to shine (Shine)
Yes (Shine)

[Verse 2]
My time coming, any day
Don't worry about me, no
It's gonna be just like they say
Them voices tell me so
Seems so long I felt this way
And time sure passin' slow
Still I know I lead the way
They tell me where I go

[Chorus]
California (California)
A prophet on the burning shore
California (California)
I will be knocking on the golden door, knock, knock
You're like an angel
Standing in a shaft of light
(Standing in a shaft of light)
Just like an angel (Like an angel)
Rising up to paradise (Paradise)
I know I'm going to shine (Shine)
Yes (Shine)

[Bridge]
You've all been asleep, you would not believe me (Wake up)
Them voices telling me, them voices
You will soon receive me (Receive me)
We are standing on the beach, the sea will part before me
Fire wheel burning in the air
(Fire wheel burning in the air)
Fire (Burning)
(Way up in the middle of the air)
You will follow me and we will ride to glory
(Way up in the middle of the air)
We will ride to glory, glory, glory
(Way up in the middle of the air)
Way up in the middle of the air
And I'll call down thunder on the rebel
And speak, speak the same
And my work fills the sky with flames, burning flames
And might and glory going to be my name
And men gonna light my way (Light my way)
Along the way (Light my way)
Light my way

[Verse 3]
My time coming, any day
Don't worry about me, no
It's gonna be just like they say
Them voices tell me so
Seems so long I felt this way
And time sure passin' slow

[Outro]
I am in no hurry, oh no no
I have nowhere to go
(Way up in the middle of the air)
(Way up in the middle of the air)
My time coming
(Way up in the middle of the air)"

I like that song more then expected honestly. Thanks man

 

[PtahTek]

I like that song more then expected honestly. Thanks man

I think its a grateful dead cover but reggae is my "thing" as it brings hope, joy and sometimes militancy in my darkest days.

 

[Cheshire_Kat]

Yep, Grateful Dead song from 1977.

 

[Arnold]

Sounds like you are or were married to someone with BPD.

Borderline personality disorder - Symptoms and causes

www.mayoclinic.org

Read the above link and see if you recognise symptoms?

Is it wise to date a girl with borderline personality disorder?

Answer (1 of 19): This is not a short answer. Well lets get right to the heart of the matter first, as to why. If you knew this girl was a Borderline then it had to be because you heard of the Sex stuff with them. So you are looking for an excuse or someone to say âoh yes, go ahead, there are no...

www.quora.com

Men who have been the victims of women with borderline personality disorder, what are your stories/experiences?

Answer (1 of 67): Need to answer anonymously, but wanted to share my story. Iâm a middle aged man in my 40âs and I crossed paths with a female borderline/ClusterB back in August of 2018. She is in her mid 30âs. I had no idea what a Cluster B woman was at that time, as Iâm sure many of you here pr...

www.quora.com

Why do borderline people destroy other people's lives? What can you do to avoid that?

Answer (1 of 29): The most dangerous thing about people with BPD is that they start out in a relationship seeming like the greatest people in the world. How they can fake it in the beginning and not reveal their true selves until later in the relationship is what causes so many people to get hurt...

www.quora.com

There's a few more worth reading on quora where you'll find people have gone through the exact same thing as you and ended up in therapy.
Someone posted onthere about facing financial ruin and having the cops called on you, can't find the right thread.

Could be wrong...

Edit:
Not the one I had in mind but still more interesting reading

Do borderlines ever regret calling the police on someone undeserving?

Answer: Do borderlines ever regret calling the police on someone undeserving? No they don't,even if they did what actual difference would it make? None. It's always about getting their unscrupulous needs met. When experiencing this horrifying aspect of a borderlines behavior,their actions are ...

www.quora.com

Has your borderline ex ever filed false charges against you with the police?

Answer (1 of 7): Oh boy, YES. 5 separate times in fact- and 3 false reports to the Department of Childrenâs services to boot. All in the span of one year. The emotional, financial, and legal ramifications from this have been truly immense. I cannot even process them all fully yet as Iâm still in...

www.quora.com

How do I stop an ex that has borderline personality disorder from trying to ruin my life and destroy me financially just because I broke ...

Answer (1 of 4): Well when you say ex? Ex wife or ex gf? Big difference. You have to shut down all social media, anything she can possibly find you on. Friends, family etc. they will all become flying monkeys. They are sick and evil people that wonât hesitate to destroy you. You have to gray rock...

www.quora.com

Lying and cheating goes with BPD as well

How do you know if a person with BPD is cheating on you or just emotionally dissociate?

Answer (1 of 7): If a person is really BPD then they are not in control of their behavior, they can't be, unless treated. Expecting normal behavior from them is being ignorant, punishing them for their behavior is being cruel. If you can't handle them then stay away gently and keep away with love...

www.quora.com

Does a BPD female partner cheat and manipulate intentionally? Who is considered the victim, the borderline or the other partner? What are...

Answer (1 of 7): 1. they have attachment style deficits; they aren't attached to their partner, they just need their security, assets and someone that will always be there no matter how bad they are treated (a codependent) 2. they are malignant narcissists that are self-entitled to âanything that...

www.quora.com

etc..

So you went back to her, are you codependent? ae you have your own issues and she knows about them , so she can utilise them to ruin you.

 

[DieselNDope]

@Arnold
She shows signs of many different mental illnesses, the biggest debate on the BPD I see is that they get what they want, hurt you because they want to, and then move on. All the reports pretty much day if you don't back down they pretty much will back off long enough to get a game plan together to continue fucking with you. Even though she's done this it's not usually her "go to".
She used to push me until I would just go off the deep end and sadly I would say some pretty crazy things but I never hit her or even pretended too.. I changed that about myself and I thought it was for the better..I guess in my case that's when I signed any happiness that I could have around her away.
I do think she's narcissistic and to be frank I think she's been using some type of drug. Unless this is a mental break that has affected her personallity.

As far as me "going back" you could say that. I do go back to see my kids even if only for the day or an afternoon. I have been homeless and lived in my truck and up until the end of my job I stayed in the shop when I could bare it...She turned all but one friend against me so I have crashed on his couch for a while in the beginning.. idk about you guys but weeks of sleeping in a metal building or a vehicle in the south in summer you don't actually sleep much and ontop of all the stress I eventually say fuck it ..I pay all the bills, I buy all the food, I am failing mentally and physically at these points to where I couldn't maintain a conversation and had troubles diagnosing or working on my fleet...ontop of that truthfully I miss my kids guys...I couldn't be there for my son's birth and she since I was in high school didn't get to see him much for first 3 months then she went to jail and her mom got him for another 3.5 months and worked 12-16 hours a day for many years. so almost no little baby experience.

my little girl is almost 3 months old and I was there for all that and I see her regularly despite the shit that comes with it...i just can't wait to see what new action she's picking up and her little attitude changes so fast...i was gone for a few days and she went from small smiles to she's almost LOLING when I make her laugh. Which in the end is my own undoing and I can't blame anyone but myself not finding a better/ faster means to and end with my wife..I've only stayed at my home 3/4 times in 8 months usually 1-3 days that last time I stayed 2 weeks before she got to the point where she was either having it her way or the psycho shit starts. While I'm around her I just don't have any respect for her I try and play along and hold conversations with her but when she talks about working it out and she's excepting what I did to her and she forgives me I try to ignore it for my kids sake but . She knows that...im trying to be nice and I think she hates that more then Fighting.

She wants my attention and my servitude she pretends to want my trust, effection, and devotion but I think she feels that's the only way she could mask what she's done ...and continues to do as of just a couple weeks ago....she wants for me to be alone and used like I always was when I lived at home.. Only since me finding out about her lies and betrayal has she tried putting these "you will be with me because I deserve to be treated like a queen" and "you don't love your children because you want to break up their home instead of treating their mom like a woman should be" shit in my son's head. Also, treating me like her property... and if she was before? Idk? IF SO..I didn't notice honestly..

Long... example skip if want just like the rest...
I made a Facebook for the first time since a kid because she practically begged me too...I told her that I didn't care to argue and I don't want it because it causes problems with jealousy. (she has always had one) I've never seen the "behind the scenes" or have I ever asked to or snuck to look through her stuff. I created one and soon everyone i used to know from before I moved away was adding me. Men and woman my age and older didn't matter I only added people I knew and their families... She seen some girls (2) on the page of friends and acted like they were just trying to break us up and they wanted to fuck me.... one girl literally said it was good to know how I was because of the rumors after about the extent of my trouble..The other girl didn't even talk to me at all neither did I her....it was just a request and I thought that's what people do. Who the fuck has 500 friends? Exactly.. I had like 50 or something... Anyway she told me to delete both the girls but not some of the other girls on there and she looked through my messages and one of my buddies that I worked with sent me a message and she said that it was code because grown men wouldn't talk like that...she said it seemed like code for something...i told her I'ma delete the whole thing because it's honestly not worth it.. it was cool to reconnect but not worth a fight.... still to this day she throws it in my face saying that I picked "those whores over her"

honestly the money issues have popped up multiple times over the years but it was always small like over spent 100$ or didn't pay a bill because she "forgot" or put herself in credit card debt i don't remember the amount but think 3/4k and ...I helped her pay them off because hell..she made a mistake right?....I guess not. So I just kept her out of my bank account. Apparently you can do whatever you want if you have "online banking"it's like ~imagination land~ on the fucking Internet where with a few numbers and a CaN dO AtTiTudE you can be whoever.

Sorry shits so long

 

[Morbid Sea Cow]

That's terrible man, I can't even begin to relate to this. Best of luck

 

[neversickanymore]

From what you have posted your a victim of someone nasty.. you need help and support, legal and psychological. This does not make you "weak."

Don't tell this person you are seeking the help you need and deserve.. she is a parasite. You need to contact law enforcement or follow a legal counsels advice. That and I would consider looking into counseling as this bitch is really bad and you likely will need strong help healing.

like others have expressed.. you have a parasitic person on you. please consider all options that can help you rid yourself of her and promote the relationships you desire with your children,

run don't walk

 

[DieselNDope]

@neversickanymore
I'm by no means the best man around town and honestly going back and reading what I said and man... I feel like I'm doing exactly what she has done to me. At this point, the shit she does .... It just doesn't surprise me anymore. Every time I find out something new I just get proof and try not to let it bother me.
Like today I found out she had a card in my name in 2018...if not her idk who...but I just took pictures and won't even bring it up. She pawned her 4k wedding ring(along with alot of other stuff) couple months back. After lying a dozen times I sent her proof. All she did was bitch at me for digging through her personal stuff. Long story short.

Ima keep doing the best I can and I'm going to overcome sooner or later

 

[neversickanymore]

@DieselNDope don't forget the help

 

[DieselNDope]

The amount of shit this woman turns around on me truly amazes me some days.
How does she steal from everyone around... But it is mpossible for anyone to hold her responsible.... she gets caught doing these fucked up things...then somehow...she will make herself into a victim and has never once answered for anything.
The fellonies, misdemeanors, food stamp fraud, unemployment fraud, identity theft, fake business loans, She pwned her along with alot of other things that were mine. No matter who I contact they act like I still don't have enough evidence to divorce her.

 

[Asclepius]

From what you have posted your a victim of someone nasty.. you need help and support, legal and psychological. This does not make you "weak."

Don't tell this person you are seeking the help you need and deserve.. she is a parasite. You need to contact law enforcement or follow a legal counsels advice. That and I would consider looking into counseling as this bitch is really bad and you likely will need strong help healing.

like others have expressed.. you have a parasitic person on you. please consider all options that can help you rid yourself of her and promote the relationships you desire with your children,

run don't walk

These are wise words.

A part from what others stated, I would just add, maintain a focus solely on yourself & your needs ATM - if she's syphoning your energy, from you - your metal health will turn away from you & on to her issues - not your problem! You need to compartmentalise all past emotional-entanglement issues away, for the interim(so you can get your own stuff together & be on your own team, mindfully ) to deal with the quagmire & cut off from any toxicity , emotionally - get your mind in gear to look after yourself & your needs, firstly! (Not easy but you CAN & will do it, with focus & patience) - consciously, get your enemy out of your head & focus on you, your needs & kids, then deal with fall-out after, when you've established more security for yourself.

Time to undo this shit you've been hoodwinked into from an unfair, early age (which is disgusting, imho - wtf was woman of her age preying on a 16 yr old boy for - rotten. )

Keep your faith in yourself & invest in & maintain as many resources as you can; any trusted family, friends professionals to support you?
Do that for the long haul DD, it'll be a long-game & have confidence in yourself that you can do WAY fucking better with your life, I have no doubt with being enabled to mature, on your own initiative, outside the manipulation & boot on the neck of her influence, you will get out & through - although it will be hugely difficult; nothing good comes easy & you will thrive.
Set huge boundaries & don't let her BS in to your heart or, hijack your mind. You will need support with this, please seek it, so you can battle toward what you deserve; peace & your own life back.

 

[DieselNDope]

I appreciate you guys.

Keep your faith in yourself & invest in & maintain as many resources as you can; any trusted family, friends professionals to support you?

Na man, long story short, she's got family and friends..I for the most part, have my family, which consisted of us 3.
Stopped trying to make friends for the most part I still am friendly and would love some kind of brotherhood like I used to have...oh and it's not because I think it's a waste of time or anything.
NA.. its because she will fuck with them and their lives (family, job, girlfriends) as well. Anyone close to me or if she even suspects to be friends with me gets to deal with it too.
why cause people more problems for no reason?