Hello beloved bluelighters, i know this isnt the right section to write this thread but let it be...
I just want to say that im really thanking you all bluelighters for the help i've got, and getting.Its helping me alot.If not Bluelight i would be OD'ed on some shit long time ago...Its not that i've tryed a lot of stuff, is that i wouldnt be safe enough to do those things.
I started with booze, then cigarettes, then weed, then the pills came, i did some xtc, some xanax, oxy's, i've done nitrous, chloroform, abused inhalants, and some crazy shit...But ended up with speed...Im a speed fan, no control, tweaking right now too.I know i do wrong, i know i shouldnt do this, i know im pretty emocional now from speed(somewhy), you might not understand me(bad english,bad words),but im telling this from my heart, and it really hurts to say but im an drug addict and im ashamed.Its not that i suck dicks for it but i spend the money on drugs that i shouldn't.It all started with a lil' booze at 11.Then cigarettes and pot at 13.At 14 i've done fair amount of bud, inhalants, and poppers, now im 22 and i take speed almost everyday.This is where all the ends meet, and i know i dont have enough courrage and stuff to stop it, to stop abusing speed, i started to do it a month ago or so, and its really funny that i got so addicted to it, even thought i wouldnt, and its just experimenting with all sorts of stuff, but i finally thought - Speed is the one that i gonna abuse, and no rehab shit would help me, im addictive to the bones, if theres something i like, its gonna be my next love, and its pretty much useless thing to change because i got a mark in my life that im a drug addict.And then i left thinking, what would happen if i wouldn't ask my dumb questions on this fucking amazing forum? I would die...We all gonna die someday, but i want to enjoy my life as much as possible, and no stupid ADD, bipolar disorder, or depression gonna stop me from doing it, no person gonna stop it, and i know that i gonna spend a lot of money on this "experimenting" but this is how god planned my life, this is my path and i gonna walk thru it.Lately i watched movie called SPUN.Its a great movie that describes my life, well the drug part mostly, and i know i gonna end up like the dood in that movie, or in a cell, but im still gonna fucking enjoy my life, because no matter how users hates me, this forum still gonna help me.Its my home where i spend almost all of my evening...Its more than a family, and im really thanking you all peeps that you are helping me.You dont even need to say anything, i just know that this community exists, and you already helping me a lot.
Just...A...Big...Honest, the most honest of my life Thank you, Bluelighters
P.S - No im tripping that hard, its just who i am
Take care
Aivaras.
I just want to say that im really thanking you all bluelighters for the help i've got, and getting.Its helping me alot.If not Bluelight i would be OD'ed on some shit long time ago...Its not that i've tryed a lot of stuff, is that i wouldnt be safe enough to do those things.
I started with booze, then cigarettes, then weed, then the pills came, i did some xtc, some xanax, oxy's, i've done nitrous, chloroform, abused inhalants, and some crazy shit...But ended up with speed...Im a speed fan, no control, tweaking right now too.I know i do wrong, i know i shouldnt do this, i know im pretty emocional now from speed(somewhy), you might not understand me(bad english,bad words),but im telling this from my heart, and it really hurts to say but im an drug addict and im ashamed.Its not that i suck dicks for it but i spend the money on drugs that i shouldn't.It all started with a lil' booze at 11.Then cigarettes and pot at 13.At 14 i've done fair amount of bud, inhalants, and poppers, now im 22 and i take speed almost everyday.This is where all the ends meet, and i know i dont have enough courrage and stuff to stop it, to stop abusing speed, i started to do it a month ago or so, and its really funny that i got so addicted to it, even thought i wouldnt, and its just experimenting with all sorts of stuff, but i finally thought - Speed is the one that i gonna abuse, and no rehab shit would help me, im addictive to the bones, if theres something i like, its gonna be my next love, and its pretty much useless thing to change because i got a mark in my life that im a drug addict.And then i left thinking, what would happen if i wouldn't ask my dumb questions on this fucking amazing forum? I would die...We all gonna die someday, but i want to enjoy my life as much as possible, and no stupid ADD, bipolar disorder, or depression gonna stop me from doing it, no person gonna stop it, and i know that i gonna spend a lot of money on this "experimenting" but this is how god planned my life, this is my path and i gonna walk thru it.Lately i watched movie called SPUN.Its a great movie that describes my life, well the drug part mostly, and i know i gonna end up like the dood in that movie, or in a cell, but im still gonna fucking enjoy my life, because no matter how users hates me, this forum still gonna help me.Its my home where i spend almost all of my evening...Its more than a family, and im really thanking you all peeps that you are helping me.You dont even need to say anything, i just know that this community exists, and you already helping me a lot.
Just...A...Big...Honest, the most honest of my life Thank you, Bluelighters
P.S - No im tripping that hard, its just who i am
Take care
Aivaras.
