so, it's been over 3 months since I last picked up the needle. I am happy to say that; although, I still "use" other drugs, per say. I have mentioned it before but WEED is something I don't see being a problem; some say a drug is a drug.. but those "some" probably werent complete dope fiends and barely getting by at one point in their lives. then again, maybe they were.. who knows!
the other night I also took xanny for the first time in a while; used to be prescribed xanny due to anxiety but my Dr. has took that away once I came forth and admitted to being an addict. It's funny, cuz the benzo's actually did help w/ my anxiety but since I did the "right thing" and came forth w/ being an addict, the benzo's have been taken away and my anxiety gets the best of me at times. anyway, I picked up 3 1MG xanax (not alot at all) and ended up taking those throughout the day yesterday; they really didnt do much but help chill me out, which was nice. SHOULD I consider this using? ha. because I truly dont.
Using to me is being where I once was, completely down in a hole, no where to go, no money, no nothing.. just me and the dope. I remember just being so miserable and always having these sick thoughts about life, whats to come, what happens next, etc. I just wasnt even happy w/ using; I just had no other way to go about my day and no be sick.
I know 3 months is NOTHING to some but to me it's a LIFE TIME! I feel like I have totally changed (personality still same but thoughts are much different). I feel like I can survive, make myself and my family happy again.
Anyway, just wanted to update this blog to keep track of what I call sobriety and also keep track of what I call a life. ha.
Bye.
the other night I also took xanny for the first time in a while; used to be prescribed xanny due to anxiety but my Dr. has took that away once I came forth and admitted to being an addict. It's funny, cuz the benzo's actually did help w/ my anxiety but since I did the "right thing" and came forth w/ being an addict, the benzo's have been taken away and my anxiety gets the best of me at times. anyway, I picked up 3 1MG xanax (not alot at all) and ended up taking those throughout the day yesterday; they really didnt do much but help chill me out, which was nice. SHOULD I consider this using? ha. because I truly dont.
Using to me is being where I once was, completely down in a hole, no where to go, no money, no nothing.. just me and the dope. I remember just being so miserable and always having these sick thoughts about life, whats to come, what happens next, etc. I just wasnt even happy w/ using; I just had no other way to go about my day and no be sick.
I know 3 months is NOTHING to some but to me it's a LIFE TIME! I feel like I have totally changed (personality still same but thoughts are much different). I feel like I can survive, make myself and my family happy again.
Anyway, just wanted to update this blog to keep track of what I call sobriety and also keep track of what I call a life. ha.
Bye.