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Just sum words

**itsmE**

Bluelighter
Joined
Sep 19, 2000
Messages
77
Location
** sydney **
First time i met you i was intrigued, you were always in such a good mood and foreva smiling that stupid grin i grew to love
You wanted to share these feelings with me, how could i resist such an offer??
We had connected
You broke it off with your g/f of 6 years for me
I had known you all of a week, what were you thinking?
I had sensed that this path you were leading me on was too steep, yet you held out your hand and i let you guide me into the darkness
Eight pills and an 8-ball each weekend, it went on for months
Fuk this wasnt me, what was i doing??
You had turned me into a paranoid misery, even i was sik of me
Each monday my cries of silence were too much, the skool even rang up about my weight loss
Anorexia they called it
These people didnt know
No one fuckin knew, i told myself everything was fine
I mean fuk who needs to eat and sleep all seven dayz of the week?? Not me, i only needed four
And who needed skool?? Nah fuk that im too tired to get up
But it wasnt cause of my weekend habits, im just not a morning person
And whats all this bullshit about my friends saying ive changed??
What would they know about me??
I mean theyve only known me since second grade, fuk they must be jealous
They tell me he's just bad news?? Nah no way, after all he gives me free drugz and shows me a good time every weekend
So what if during the week he's incapable of holding up a conversation without an argument, hes just stressed out from work thats all
Its not the drugs
And it doesnt matter that he only ever smiles on the weekends, he makes me feel safe and secure when im held tight in his arms
And its because of this, no matter how hard i try i can never hate him
He will always be a distant memeory in my ever shameful mind.
I dont even know what im getting at here, sorry, i think im just saying thanx to sumone for showing me the shittest low ive ever had to face in my life. I gave into his words which spoke so true, to his smiles so sweet and to his eyes, blue as i felt. He pulled me down with him and left me with nothing, from which i found something i had missed, my friendz. But to him i would just like to say a big FUCK YOU
tho its still gonna be hard to let you go....
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** smile **
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** the happiest of people dont necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes their way **
 
This is beautiful.....every word makes so much sense to me. I like how you express yourself so openly and honestly.
I've been there too and it's so hard to say NO. How can it be so bad for you when it feels so good....right???
Good luck to you sweetie...feel free to email me if you ever want.
*Hugs*
~kimmy.
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~*~If we both were to die, and I went to heaven and you went to hell, I would give up my place in heaven to come and join you in hell, just so you wouldn't have to be alone.~*~
 
I don't even know what to say... except, I know.
*peace out*
Ski
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*Shine on you crazy diamond.....*
*Sunni came home with a vengeance*
 
** thanx for the replies **
*SWeeT-e* it IS so hard to say no ESPECIALLY when it gives you such good feelings but ive learned thru this that NOTHING in the world is worth more to me than my friendz. They give me the good feelings which NEVER go away and i love them ALL for this, without them i would have neva be where i am today
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** smile **
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** the happiest of people dont necessarily have the best of everything, they just make the most of everything that comes their way **
 
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