Just not addicted

[TweakTheSky]

After a few years of random drug use I have come to find that I just don't get addicted to any specific drugs.
I am a pack a day cigarette smoker, so It's not like I don't believe in addiction, in fact, I'm pretty much just addicted to DRUGS.

I'm not here to waste anyone's time and I am being conpletley honest here..


I've done Meth, coke, heroin, and painkillers. It's how I get through my day, I don't do it for the rush, I do it so I can be who I want to be. I started with painkillers, mainly Vicodin. I found out what norcos were and those became my thing. I've played with many other painkillers as well, Oxycodone is actually my favorite pill, Vicodin is just much more available and priced aren't too bad. I tried Meth, fell in love. It's the perfect drug, but I feared I would easily form an addiction. I tried heroin, wasn't quite in love, but I was extremely fond. I also feared addiction, mostly because even the most hardcore toughest druggies I knew couldn't escape It's grasp once they were sucked in. I always believed in strength and self maintenance. I've seen many around me slip into the darkness of addiction and I had heard many horror story's. I only like myself when I'm high on opiates or amphetamines, so I just had to roll the dice.

I pretty much take pills no matter what, but sometimes I'll smoke Meth for over a month straight, excluding my two to three day breaks I take every week or so, so I can fully come down and try and let my chemicals refuel. It's a little thing I do so I don't burn myself out and start wasting dope. I take precautions so I'm not forced to learn things the hard way.

The longest I've ever really done heroin back to back Is about two, maybe three weeks. I strictly smoke it, needles are too much risk for Me.

I find coke to just be kind of a waste, it makes absolutely no sense to me why people even still do it... Anyways, that's irrelevant I do it time to time when I'm around someone with it.

I just do what I can get my hands on at the time. Like I stated above, I've had my runners with certain drugs, but mostly I just get whatever drug and live my life. Never Thought twice about it. No drug has sucked me in, so I just go strong. I've always believed you are the master of yourself. You are always in control of what you do. It's a simple fact. I do drugs pretty much every day, sometimes I stop cold Turkey because my funds lack or whatever, usually doesn't last for more than a week. However long I'm without... Let's just say It's not a fun time.

Here is my question... How can I go on Meth/Heroin runners and not become addicted? I'm not addicted to my pills either. I say I'm not addicted because no matter how long what drug I do, I mix them all It's just chaos. No matter what, When I have to stop cold Turkey, I'm fine. Yes for about three weeks my brain is constantly yelling at me to get some drugs, doesn't matter if It's Meth or pot or xnax. For approximately 3 weeks my brain begs for something to alter it. After that time period I'm fine. Now I say I'm not addicted because no matter what I never have those psychical withdrawals. Yes I really want something but I never get sick without any of it, no psychical pain.... Why? Do I have to do straight heroin or Meth 24/7 for three months straight? Is it because I'm constantly On them then off them? Because I'm always mixing? Why does my body crave no particular drug?

I'd be really happy if I could finally know the answer to this.

 

[done juan]

its just how youre wired i guess. im pretty much the same although havent ever tried heroin nor meth (would like to).

 

[rizmatter]

Wow what a brag post.
Your doing drugs everyday man. And like you say - 'you need them' .
bit naive imo

 

[Dmytry]

its because you mix them (opinion). when i drink i get hangovers, when i mix alcohol and mdpv, no hangover, and i can drink 3 times as much. just like meth makes you up and heroin makes you down, IME the opposite is true of the withdrawals, they almost cancel each other out

 

[PepperSocks]

Sorry for your troubles. One thing many won't pick up on is lingo. What on earth are meth/heroin 'runners'? Try to convey your thoughts as accurately and technically as you can so others know what you're talking about. Regional slang is a big impediment to that.

Aside; this is the Drug Studies forum, a place for posting surveys and clinical trials. This being a personal thread about a personal problem resides in (in my opinion, poorly named) The Dark Side. You'll get many more responses there from people who will be better able to help you. All the best.

DS>TDS

 

[hthr007]

Here is my question... How can I go on Meth/Heroin runners and not become addicted? I'm not addicted to my pills either. I say I'm not addicted because no matter how long what drug I do, I mix them all It's just chaos. No matter what, When I have to stop cold Turkey, I'm fine. Yes for about three weeks my brain is constantly yelling at me to get some drugs, doesn't matter if It's Meth or pot or xnax. For approximately 3 weeks my brain begs for something to alter it. After that time period I'm fine. Now I say I'm not addicted because no matter what I never have those psychical withdrawals. Yes I really want something but I never get sick without any of it, no psychical pain.... Why? Do I have to do straight heroin or Meth 24/7 for three months straight? Is it because I'm constantly On them then off them? Because I'm always mixing? Why does my body crave no particular drug?
.

Physical withdrawal doesn't = addiction. Addiction is the compulsive need for a habit forming substance.

No one can pinpoint the answer to your question. Just be thankful that you're not addicted. Stop toying with drugs while you still are able to make that conscious decision. It sounds like you want to become addicted based off what youve said....i wouldn't wish drug addiction on anyone.

Doing "straight heroin or meth 24/7" out of pure CHOICE makes no sense to me...

 

[Foreigner]

Based on your desire to be altered by substances 24/7 I would call you an addict. You might not have chemical dependency in the physical way, yet, but psychologically you are hooked.

 

[Bambooshoot]

I don't understand. Do you want to get physically addicted? Because you are defiantly psychologically. You should think yourself lucky you are not physically addicted, you are walking a very fine line. No one is immune to addiction. It took me 5 years to get properly addicted to heroin.
I would cut back on what you are using since you have the luxury that most of us don't in that you don't feel the physical withdrawals.

 

[Sepher]

Right . . . . so when you say you've quit cold turkey you don't mean you've gone through the turkey stage and out the other side easily enough. You mean you didn't even have the turkey stage in the first place? It's quite possible. I reckon you'd need to be doing Heroin on a daily basis for at least a month before you'd experience really acute withdrawal symptoms. If you're not daily dosing and leaving a good 2-3 days between little runs it could take you a lot longer to develop a proper physical dependency bad enough to produce a properly painful withdrawal, so I wouldn't get too over-confident just yet with the can't get addicted thing, whether you're genuinely unusually strong-willed, or not. Might not have needed a really full test of your will-power just yet, and could quite easily still one day find that your over-cockiness has just turned round and bitten you on the arse son!

 

[ocean]

--> BDD
BDD Mods, if you find this inapproproate, feel free to close it w/ my apologies.
It should NOT be in TDS though. Against the rules in countless ways there.

 

[Brian242]

Just remember: You aren't as invincible as you might think.

 

[herbavore]

I just do what I can get my hands on at the time. Like I stated above, I've had my runners with certain drugs, but mostly I just get whatever drug and live my life. Never Thought twice about it. No drug has sucked me in, so I just go strong. I've always believed you are the master of yourself. You are always in control of what you do. It's a simple fact. I do drugs pretty much every day, sometimes I stop cold Turkey because my funds lack or whatever, usually doesn't last for more than a week.

I had a beautiful, intelligent son that thought and expressed this same opinion many times in the last couple years of his short life. It will catch up with you. You are not the master of death, that much I know. I understand completely what you are saying about what it is that makes you do what you do. The impulse to find what you are looking for and to achieve the state of being you feel comfortable in is admirable. The means you are using undermine the search, however. There is a way to be who you want to be without these substances. I hope you will at lest consider widening your search before one or the other of these drugs gets you in too deep. You can alter your brain in so many ways--why not explore some of the non-drug avenues out there? Look into neuroplasticity--it's a fascinating read if nothing else.

 

[cj]

Ahh I was a successful poly-drug addict for like 6 years. Eventually you will find one drug to fall in love with. I know my addiction to heroin was caused as much by circumstance as love for the high heroin gave. Stay safe dude.

 

[Cane2theLeft]

Based on your desire to be altered by substances 24/7 I would call you an addict. You might not have chemical dependency in the physical way, yet, but psychologically you are hooked.

This.

Long ago, most drug users quickly found their DOC and hardly touched anything else but with the influence of the internet and availability of a broader range of substances in most areas, few people stick to 1 substance (except alcoholics who don't use any illicit substances). These days most ADDICTS are more like you using anything and everything and lacking substantial physical dependence on any one thing.

As others have mentioned, you need to distinguish between physical dependence and addiction - this is a mistake many make. They think if they are physical dependent, they are addicted when really many people are physically dependent on medications that don't even have recreational value who certainly are not addicts and many addicts aren't physically dependent on anything but absolutely still addicted.

Addiction is defined more by the relationship an individual has with susbtances than by what happens physically when they don't. Typically people can be considered addicts clinically if they are using despite consequences that would lead most people to stop- academic problems, job problems, family problems, legal problems, etc.

You may not have experienced many problems as a result of your drug use at this point so you might not meet the diagnostic criteria for clinically being diagnosed as an addict but that doesn't mean your use isn't problematic in any way or that you will never be affected negatively. If you continue using substance all the time, it's only a matter of time before it catches up to you and as herbavore rightly pointed out and knows all-too-well, that could occur in a manor that leaves your family devastated.

I'm not preaching abstinence as that would make me quite the hypocrite! I just want to encourage you to have a realistic view of things and not fall into the trap of thinking it won't happen to YOU as most addicts believed at one point.

 

[whippa craka]

I'm going to guess your myers-briggs personality type is INT?

I used to cross very very similar lines of thought. Then I said to myself, "I am doing all this bullshit rationalizing in my head but no matter what way I put it, I'm putting these drugs in my body pretty much everyday." There's no escaping that fact. You may be your own worst enemy, you can probably rationalize your usage for years. Eventually you will hit rock bottom, nobody is invincible doing drugs that much, sorry.

 

[RobotRipping]

you seem to want to protect yourself from the harms often caused by drugs. The attitude you have is so common with drug users, either during or right before their demise and spiral downwards. Respect these drugs, they can and will get you if you let them. It is not a matter of will or self control, just time. One big slip up, something in life goes terribly wrong and that is how most people spiral out of control. Are you really going to be one of those people who thought they were the one special case that can't get addicted that ends up becoming a huge addict? And then you'll go around warning people that it can happen to them lol.

 

[dittybopmonster]

jesus god...just please be careful

 

[Swimmingdancer]

Addiction is not the same thing as physiological dependence. Just because you don't have withdrawals doesn't mean you aren't psychologically addicted.

Maybe you do have a drug addiction? You can be addicted to drugs without it being to one specific drug.

You can also use lots of different drugs and not feel you have been addicted/dependent, until one day, the perfect storm of circumstances and the perfect drug/ROA for you comes along. Do not for a second assume that because you have tried addictive drugs and haven't become addicted that you are impervious to addiction! And don't assume that the reason you haven't become addicted is because you are in complete control of yourself and can just choose to not get addicted. NO ONE chooses to become addicted. It's never something we think will happen to us.

For a while I tried many addictive drugs without really becoming addicted (although I would say I was definitely having addictive behaviours with some of them as sometimes I did use every day for a few weeks or something, so I guess you could say they were short-term addictions), and I was like you and got cocky, thinking I was different and could control my drug use or I knew when to get out before it became too damaging. Then some stuff happened in my life, I went through a period of depression, started using IV heroin more and more often, and gradually the addiction snuck up on me. I ended up spending 14 years addicted/dependent on heroin.

Can you explain more about what you mean by using drugs in order to "be who you want to be"?

As for why you haven't experienced physical withdrawals, you probably just haven't used enough of one drug for long enough yet in order to experience very noticeable withdrawals. That does NOT mean you can't become dependent, or that you can continue the same use patterns and will not get dependent in the future. Or you may have started to become a bit physiologically dependent on drugs just didn't really noticed the withdrawals if you were switching to another drug right away. Anyway, it's not as simple as just deciding you will only use an addictive drug for a certain length of time or take breaks at specific intervals, because one day you may not be able to stick to that plan. That happens all the time. People tell themselves they're just going to use the drug on the weekends, for example, then it gradually becomes more and more frequent until it gets to a point where it's out of control. Then it can take even longer to realize it. Addiction doesn't happen over night.

 

[Crazy Matt]

Been (thinking I'm) outsmarting Opiate/Stimulant addiction for about 8 years. I could have wrote your post except you do better at going without and quality blow might be literally better than sex.
I wondered all your questions at the end and considered myself non addicted because I wasn't breaking in houses or selling my ass, let alone being able to run out and wait for better days to come. I know about threshhold doses carrying the day feeling like Superman not at all feeling drugged up or impaired and the blah of sober days, where past pleasures or activities now pale in comparison. Has this been your case in lean times, a chronic lack of enjoyment in life without drugs?

These people are right. Many have turned blue in the face trying to convince me, and that I was looking at it the wrong way. Physical dependance is the ball and chain but we dont need one. Where the line is between heavy/frequent/hard casual drug user and nonspecific polydrug addict is unique to us all, and invisible until you pass it. I have long ago IMO you are tapdancing on it. I guess the day you can't make yourself believe drugs control your life you'll find out. If I could go as long without as you, I'd stop and never look back. Last week I really looked at how the comfort of drugs has distracted me from real priorities and kept me down. Not to mention personality wise, fucking teeth crumbling, where else dope money could go. Our preferred stuff both take focus off where it needs to be for a measure of quality of life or dignity.

 

[Crazy Matt]

BTW I did end up addicted. Physically dependant, fuck life on this planet if I dont get some in me, shakes as a harbinger of brutal withdrawal, hooked. It was booze that got me. Years after I was made to drink, it was never my thing no more or less than the average person. Started Drinking when I really made an effort and got off strong painkillers/H, coke even quit filling my Adderall script. Around this time I lost someone very close and due in part to my ignoring cries for help or even really hearing them I was so drunk on Vodka or brain dead on a speed run. I drank no less than a fifth a day every single day for 2.5 years and at least a pint for another 7 months when I returned to the workforce. One of those people usually old slobs who continously reeks of liquor. Over 2 years never not drunk. 24/7 slurred speech, being an ass, puking a daily routine. I cant tell you what happened. I just stopped, cold turkey actually at the time of another death of one of the few I love. That was mid January. Today? Total abstinence is not nessesary tested a couple times on bad days. Like it never happened and my mother used to go to church and cry and pray I wouldnt just drink myself to death before I saw mid-30 's.

So you never know. That came and went but the years it was on I really cannot fathom worse alcoholism. Just a loser with nothing else to do but indulge his vice, all he wanted , 100% of the time.That is fucked up seriously. Maybe grandma who despised drinking found a way to turn me off on it and makenit easy on me. That is incomprehensible how easy it was to detox. I had not one seizure or began fiending.