Just lost a friend...

jayzsucks

Greenlighter
Joined
May 17, 2014
Messages
8
Just lost a friend (R.i.p). Need to clear my head

So a couple of days ago I lost a buddy of mine to suicide. He overdosed on some benzos. He was doing about 50 a day at some point and had a crazy addiction apparently. He is pretty much the whole reason i go on this forum from time to time. He introduced me to drugs like adderall, vyvanse, percocets etc... We would chill from time to time but honestly only when i was looking to get high on pills or buy some off him. But i noticed him getting sketchier day by day. I already knew he was sketchy but it just got worse, even the look on his face you can tell he was always mangled. I think eventually his addiction overcame everything. Because one time i went to buy clonazepam off him and only till after he was gone i noticed that it was gravol... He pretty much tricked/robbed me so i was like fuck this guy. He would then constantly message me saying he's got this or that but i felt like it wasn't worth the risk since i discovered legitimate drug dealers at that point. From that point on i would just ignore every message he would send me, long paragraph, or just a simple "hey", i wouldn't even read or open them. Well two days ago i got the news about what happened. I didn't believe it. At that exact point i decided to go on facebook and check the messages he sent me. The last message he ever sent me was "But yo im dying..." May 31st, 3:53 AM. The police discovered him dead the following day. I assumed his parents called 911 when they noticed he was dead.


But yeah, that fucked me up. If had read that the following morning, i would have at-least tried giving him a phone call. I also think i was his legitimate last friend. He didn't message my brother who was his his buddy/classmate in high school. The last thing we ever did was get high as fuck on DXM around December it was honestly a good time. But wasn't much of a friend i guess. Like we weren't best buds. Only hang out every other month. Sometimes he'd tell me don't do this alot, or don't do too much of that... Like a guy who gets mangled off pills is trying to make sure i get a safe high. Nice dude. That last message though, has me really fucked up still... If you got something to say that can help me clear my head i'd appreciate it. Thanks in advance.
 
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Heavy .... It's a matter of looking for warning signs and being able to read them.

Sometimes your lifestyle is so hectic you easily miss peoples subtle cries for help.

It is what it is.

Life is a crazy journey .... Learn from it then move on. Create good in others lifes in his honor when you see someone in a similar situation.
 
i'm so sorry to hear that. addiction can consume lives and it can get the best of us, without us even realizing it.

i wish there were magic words or things that i could say to make you feel better, but i don't know what to say to do that. the best i can do is offer my support to you and my condolences. i know it' not much, but you will be on my mind. it's a real eye opener to see what addiction can do. it's sad.
 
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