Just looking for some ?possible? help in Chicagoland for Benzo & Buprenorphine detox

[bagochina]

Just looking for some ?possible? help in Chicagoland for Benzo & Buprenorphine detox

I'll make it short, some of you might know me I used to post on here under the name blahblahblah, aka Seedless and now to the point...

Status: Current Meds

Klonopin - 8mg's [2mg's x thrice a day]
Buprenorphine [Suboxone] - [16-20mg's a day, usually broken up into a morning and evening dose.
Ativan - [2mg's 1-3 times daily or as needed]
Trazadone - 100mgs for sleep, I used to take it occasionally but it has been daily for months [I sometimes alternate using Seroquel [10-20mg's]

I have been trying to taper my dosing down on well everything, but I have been going thru MASS amounts of stress, gramndmother is Ill and has been hospitalized for months now, broken hip, broken shoulder, which has all but the open heart surgery on hold, blessing in disguise if you as me. So my Father is very stressed, thank god for my ever-loving mother. So now the cherry on the top is that I have begun to become very, very, very, paranoid. Why? I dont know I have nothing illegal going on in my life, for god sakes I even stopped puffing cabbage due to its intensifying effects of paranoia.

I think the house is bugged, I can hear what I think are people talking about me, at first I thought it was a fluke but it has been going on for a few weeks now and the pot has already boiled over and I am afraid that I will evaporate completely. So I am going to do what I have NEEDED to do for years. Check into a detox center and rid myself of all this crap, for god sakes I cant even go on a mountain bike ride to escape my problems because I think it its bugged with GPS and I am being monitored. This is not acceptable and the fuct thing is I dont even know WHY I am paranoid, it sucks BAD. I have felt my mind bending months ago, I think it broke during the holiday season. I have isolated myself from everyone and everything. For god sakes I even blacked out my windows with wooden plates and layer after layer of blankets. I am afraid of what could be a diagnosis that I fear to hear bi-polar or skitzo, arghhh.

Anyways I have been on K-pins for about 7-8 years now, and I have been on Suboxone the day the FDA released it for scripting for opiate maintenance [I think its been 7-8 years, all I know is I am not staying on it anymore I dont need it its been a crutch. I will not allow myself to see the day that Suboxone becomes generic which Reckitt & Benckisser already has the a new formulation to hit the markets, a gelatin strip similar to those Listerine breath fresheners, which makes alot of sense and they should have done it in the first place because all the snorting of bupe has made it abusable [well more abusable] but thats marketing for ya... And I am getting off subject.

Also I was on Adderall IR [90mg's a day] for the past 2 years and it has been close to a month since I have released that from the stupidly dumb pharmacopia of medical cures? Yeah Sure I used to help combat my 10-15 year addiction to IV heroin, I have been clean from heroin for 4 years, I had intermittent chipping on Suboxone back in the day. I did successfully detox of Suboxone once with little to no pain, but that was a summer of swimming in liquor and you guessed it benzo's and girls, girls, girls...

Now my main point right now I am looking at a joint called Harborview Recovery in Chicago, it will be my 6-10 inpatient program thru the years. This one WILL be different or I will DIE I am sure of it.

Anyways... If anybody has gone to a medical detox in the Chicago-land area that was decent I would love to hear any suggestions or a nudge in the right direction.

Thanks to all who bothered to read this rambling shortened life story. I have already begun a taper but it is VERY hard with ever thing else going on in my life. I havent worked in years because of this disease and I know it will be with me forever but I need a reprieve. I am open to any suggestions, Thanks...

Peace & God Bless,

Seedless

 

[Ds]

goodluck

 

[jjdonkey]

I went through Harborview three years ago, spent four days there and they deemed me stable enough to do outpatient thank god. I've been in suboxone therapy ever since and am only now trying to taper down. My doctor (through harborview) is very understanding, helpful, takes his time with appointments, understands what a bitch addiction is and even when I had to admit to him that I blew it and abused my sub prescription he shrugged, said "it happens" and we worked to correct it.

The cons are that Harborview isn't exactly Shangri-La. I've never been to any other detox, but I thought it would be a little more...comfortable? I thought it would be a place to sort of encourage healing, but instead I felt very lonely, uncomfortable, and i'm sure that was part of w/d, but the cement floors and sickly yellow walls didn't help

PM me if you want any other details. Harborview worked for me. And it has a great view of the lake

 

[bagochina]

Gosh it makes me cringe when I read back on how twisted that speed made me. Thank god that left my life and I have recovered fairly easily. I did check into a rehab facility in the suburbs that I also stayed at in 1999. Great facility, very nice too. If I remember correctly Harbor View was going to take me but they had a slight issue with the benzo load.

New Hope Recovery is a good one on the northside and extended [very nice] facilities in western suburbs. Last one I was in was at CDH hospital, excellent program. That was almost 2 yrs ago and I am off ALL of those meds. It took a long time and wasn't able to just jump off all of them at once like I wanted to [I was pretty out there]. I am 6 months clean now. Feels great!

http://www.new-hope-recovery.com/
http://www.cdh.org/medical-services/services-A-Z/behavioral-health/chemical-dependency.aspx

peace.
seedless

 

[sid3]

Wow. That was an awful lot of benzos per day. Awesome job getting and staying clean.

 

[bagochina]

Thanks.

Yeah benzos were the hardest part out of everything by far. It took a good year and a half to really start to feel 'right' or what I assume 'right' would feel like. Thinking back I was a huge mess, the amphetamine induced psychosis [I hate to even acknowledge that because well it is embarrassing, I guess] had me just scattered. Than dumb ass me decides to try to kick a long term benzo habit when I was just getting better from the amps and that sent me WAY down hill.

I was going to stop the bupe at the same time as the benzos but that simply was not happening after about 48 hours so I sat on bupe for a little less than a year while I recovered from the benzos. Than kicked the bupe. It was fucking very hard at times. Sometimes I wonder how I managed to do it. I guess I have been in w/d for the last 2 yrs and that is just straight fuct up when I think about it but it had to be done. I will say that AA and NA helped so much.

peace.
seedless

 

[oliphill]

What a habit to kick! Hopefully this can be an inspiration to others on such a concoction that can't see a way out.

I'm sorry but the American prescription drugs laws is just plain fucked up. I remember seeing someone posting on here talking about all these horrible symptoms like depression, paranoia, etc and not understanding why they felt like that. Then I read on and saw they were on a legal prescription for Opiates, Amps and Benzos. I mean come on!

 

[unsettled]

Of all the meds you listed the ones that scare me the most are the benzos, I take approximately 2mgs of Klonopin a day and it is by far the hardest for me to get off of.

Congratulations on getting off all those meds, that is no easy feat! It seems to become all the more difficult when your medications are all legally prescribed, it seems so much easier to justify using them, but I'm learning first hand that the rx'd meds are the hardest for me to quit. I'm on Klonopin and Subs but it's the Klonopin that is by far the hardest for me to come off of.

Thanks for posting this.