Hey guys,
Thanks for the advice. It really is helpful.
The reason that I've never met her father (I have previously met her mother) is that, as she said, she didn't think she should tell him until there was something to tell. Ie, marriage. Like I said, a different culture. Well I met him yesterday, got a bit of the third degree, and he made at least one demand on me I can't and won't meet (change my religion). My fiance was pretty sad and angry afterwards, but reassured me that we weren't going to have to do that and would get married whatever he thought. Seeing my fiance like that reminded me why I loved her, and reaffirmed my determination to marry her...but then, I admit, a few hours later that sinking feeling returned. Yet another tally in the 'complication' column though - I know that marriage is tough, different cultures tougher, and you need to be commited to it and each other to get through it. Whilst I can still have plenty of moments where I feel 100% committed - most of the time I spend with her, for instance - there are planty of times when I feel I'm not.
As to why it took me 6 years...well, there was also previously the complication of distance. Not 'another country' distance, but another city which meant I could only see her every other weekend. It's only in the last year that we've been in the same city.
I don't think it would be an option to move in together. The one compromise position would be that I get my own appartment and she would spend most of her time there and contribute to the rent. (You may be wondering why I don't have my own flat already - we live in London, UK, pretty much the most expensive city in the world, and the amount I pay renting buying a boxroom in a shared flat in a slum would probably get me a 4 bedroom anywhere else).
Thanks for the advice. It really is helpful.
The reason that I've never met her father (I have previously met her mother) is that, as she said, she didn't think she should tell him until there was something to tell. Ie, marriage. Like I said, a different culture. Well I met him yesterday, got a bit of the third degree, and he made at least one demand on me I can't and won't meet (change my religion). My fiance was pretty sad and angry afterwards, but reassured me that we weren't going to have to do that and would get married whatever he thought. Seeing my fiance like that reminded me why I loved her, and reaffirmed my determination to marry her...but then, I admit, a few hours later that sinking feeling returned. Yet another tally in the 'complication' column though - I know that marriage is tough, different cultures tougher, and you need to be commited to it and each other to get through it. Whilst I can still have plenty of moments where I feel 100% committed - most of the time I spend with her, for instance - there are planty of times when I feel I'm not.
As to why it took me 6 years...well, there was also previously the complication of distance. Not 'another country' distance, but another city which meant I could only see her every other weekend. It's only in the last year that we've been in the same city.
I don't think it would be an option to move in together. The one compromise position would be that I get my own appartment and she would spend most of her time there and contribute to the rent. (You may be wondering why I don't have my own flat already - we live in London, UK, pretty much the most expensive city in the world, and the amount I pay renting buying a boxroom in a shared flat in a slum would probably get me a 4 bedroom anywhere else).
