TUFKA-Sleepwalker
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2022
- Messages
- 81
I went check on my best buddy this morning, since I hadn't heard from him this week.
This is unusual for us and I even checked the hospital first, but he wasn't there.
So I went to his home and the doors were unlocked.
After knocking and calling for my brother with no response, I entered his room.
Television was on but his bed was empty.
Took me a while to figure out where he was, but then I saw him face down on his belly.
Laying in his own vomit and shit and other decomposing mess.
His body was cold and his head black and so swollen, I couldn't even reach his neck to check for a pulse.
His body bloated and seemed to have glued itself to the floor.
He was dead alright and had been for several days...
There were so many opened Fentanyl patch wrappers.
He must have taped them all to his body, though I couldn't see them.
Then I found the letters adressing his love to his parents and family.
And the letters adressed to me.
He knew I'd be the only one in the world checking in on him.
And I did and it wasn't pretty.
He asked me once what would happen if you'd tape a big ammount of Fentanyl patches to your body at once and told him how nasty OD-ing that way would be.
Very nasty...
But little did I know he was planning to kill himself.
He must have taken his weekrecipy of benzos beforehand, seeing how little were left.
He took his life for he was tired of running after his dope, his beer and his meds.
To cope with the neverending drama upon drama in his life.
He found peace in the Lord Jesus Christ but his earthly tent didn't survive the ride...
And I'm glad my brother trusted in me so much, that he let me find him.
Glad it was me and not his family.
He and I became brothers through over 32 years in the world of addictions.
We had countless adventures and survived a hell of a lot together.
Nothing can ever erase the memories.
He will be missed.
Rest in peace Ishmail
This is unusual for us and I even checked the hospital first, but he wasn't there.
So I went to his home and the doors were unlocked.
After knocking and calling for my brother with no response, I entered his room.
Television was on but his bed was empty.
Took me a while to figure out where he was, but then I saw him face down on his belly.
Laying in his own vomit and shit and other decomposing mess.
His body was cold and his head black and so swollen, I couldn't even reach his neck to check for a pulse.
His body bloated and seemed to have glued itself to the floor.
He was dead alright and had been for several days...
There were so many opened Fentanyl patch wrappers.
He must have taped them all to his body, though I couldn't see them.
Then I found the letters adressing his love to his parents and family.
And the letters adressed to me.
He knew I'd be the only one in the world checking in on him.
And I did and it wasn't pretty.
He asked me once what would happen if you'd tape a big ammount of Fentanyl patches to your body at once and told him how nasty OD-ing that way would be.
Very nasty...
But little did I know he was planning to kill himself.
He must have taken his weekrecipy of benzos beforehand, seeing how little were left.
He took his life for he was tired of running after his dope, his beer and his meds.
To cope with the neverending drama upon drama in his life.
He found peace in the Lord Jesus Christ but his earthly tent didn't survive the ride...
And I'm glad my brother trusted in me so much, that he let me find him.
Glad it was me and not his family.
He and I became brothers through over 32 years in the world of addictions.
We had countless adventures and survived a hell of a lot together.
Nothing can ever erase the memories.
He will be missed.
Rest in peace Ishmail
