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Just feel lost

Trying123

Bluelighter
Joined
Feb 8, 2019
Messages
47
Been sober from Heroin/Fentanyl about 18 months. Working a lot, and let my health decline. 6ft 2in, 135lbs, and feel worse than I did when I was using. I have no appetite, no energy, and can't keep hydrated. Trying to stop smoking. At 1 pack a day. Think I finally scared myself enough because Ive been having problems breathing. Also have copd. I can't walk 50ft without resting. I don't know what im looking for, or why I even came on here. Only know im scared, and dont know what to do. So tired, I can't read a phone, or talk, yet I can't sleep. I'm in no way suicidal, but do wish I would just die. Have another Dr appointment tmro, hoping they find a way to help me. Think ive been fighting covid for the last 2 weeks. I just want this over, and want to feel like myself again. I could care less about my favorite hobbies, work, or cleaning house. It Makes me feel like a drug addict all over again. Yet I'm clean and don't ever feel like using again. Tho the thought has crossed my mind lately. Guess I only came here to vent, look at my thoughts in words. Maybe I can find a shrink, or friend to talk to in a few hours. At 330am, I have no one.
 
Sorry I wish I could offer more than hope. There are no guarantees in life but I can say with a fact that life is in constant change. I don’t know if your situation will get better but there is always hope that it will.
 
Glad to see I broda...really glad that U quiitt hard stuff..feel the same-only on lyrica,but feel a ton better when I got my pods.my sleep is screwed,cause I am off diazepam for a while,bad virus hits me.two weeks and slightly better...not workin',non functional..absolutely marginalized-that's how i feel bro....so u are not alone.I feel exactly the same.Shrink can't do nothing...priest can't do nothing..what can I do?
 
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I quit heroin about 20 days ago and I still feel absolutely miserable. I couldnt leave my bed for the first two weeks due to the anxiety, and it was only when I got some diazepam that I was able to leave the house. Likewise the thought of using has been crossing my mind recently - not because I want to be back in that lifestyle or around those people, but because I just want a moment of relief. I'll hold out though.

I'm curious - when you quit, did you stop cold turkey or did you wean down? I think quitting cold turkey might have something to do with why I still feel so crappy. I read about people feeling amazing after 7 days sober and get so annoyed...
 
I'm curious - when you quit, did you stop cold turkey or did you wean down? I think quitting cold turkey might have something to do with why I still feel so crappy. I read about people feeling amazing after 7 days sober and get so annoyed...
Seems to me that very few ppl will feel amazing after 7 days. best I've personally had is After 2 weeks I still felt weak but was getting better physically but mentally all I could think was to score - which I did as soon as possible.
Last 3 attempts were the same - quit Heroin cold. One proper rehab clinic and 2 time shut up in a retreat away from everything - as soon as I went home I scored. I'm about to try one more time and I know it will take weeks and somehow I will have to hold on and eventually the cravings will lessen and I will feel stronger.
 
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