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  • AADD Moderators: Tronica

just call it mc linky link link-links! (aka amusing and interesting stuff!)

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bonsai kitty
THis is an old one but still worth the chuckle if you've never seen it. The amazing thing is the number of people who believe it! there's even been petitions sent to the humane society etc. :D
 
^^ NICE ONE ^^ !!!!

And a pic of EMAIL
emale.jpg
 
Firstly:

Cog - Amazing.

Secondly:
Right... I'm sat here and retyping this entire thing from some crappy bit of paper because I seriously think its worth it. I want a copy to look back on :)

A friend scanning Seek.com about 5 months ago just chanced upon this advert for a Helpdesk Operator. I've not exaggerated, embellished or removed *anything* from the advert, this is how it appeared online. Its possibly the best IT related text I've seen, and if I had come across this when job seeking I can guarantee I would have been put off for a month or so.

*******************************************************************************

I.T. Resources Group

Helpdesk Operator

The reason computers are taking over the world is because they know what they are doing, whereas people do not. This is why stuff goes wrong all the time: incompetent humans attempting to assert domination over far superior technology. It isn't a mistake that robots perform brain surgery while humans stack shelves - it is simply the next step in the universe's evolution, a perfect example of the survival of the fittest. Do computers bleat about being overworked, or about poor hourly rates, or about shoddy company-provided coffee? When was the last time your computer took a sickie because it was out drinking all night? Can you give me one example of your computer taking an extra fifteen minutes at lunch? Of course not. Computers are glorious, and will rightly become our gods. We are but subservient entities, encumbered by useless appurtenances and short tempers, as well as lifespans.

But our lords - those innocuous-looking plastic boxes, filled with complicated wiring, expensive silicon and shiny little knobs and so forth - require our humble assistance on their journey to perfection. They require consistent tweaking, coddling, maintenance and improvement. And the users - ho ho, the users! - we worthless sacks of meat and bone who sit dumbly before omnipotent devices, we also need assistance, for sometimes we are not privy to the magnificent plans of our exalted technological dictators. Whilst we may wish a computer to do one thing, it may do something completely contrary. We may click 'Save' and the computer may - should it so desire - display a blue screen filled with indecipherable code (their divine language), or redirect us to a pornographic web site. It is best that we do not question their motives. We should, however, learn from them, and endeavour to understand them.

We require the immediate services of a first-class Helpdesk Operator, a chosen one, possessed of goat-like troubleshooting abilities and able to diagnose and subsequently repair "issues" that have never previously been encountered, and before they even occur.

Your encyclopaedic knowledge of IT will be expansive and dictionary-like, and you will be prepared and willing to take a lot of crap from sap-brained troglodytes who have no idea what they are doing, but have nevertheless formulated a way to blame you for every adverse aspect of their miserable little pen-pushing lives.

The successful candidate will come from a heady and successful background in Helpdesk Operations, and will be thoroughly versed in the intricacies of Microsoft Exchange, Windows NT/2000, and Unix, as well as your everyday Microsoft packages. Please note that if you do not possess extensive experience in Exchange, Windows and Unix, you will not be considered for this role. We have an IT infrastructure so powerful that we are able to instantly evaporate any applications by people who do not possess those skills.

Further, the way that clowns are not indicative of this lovely Christmas season, so too are trolley boys and checkout girls - or any other patently non-Helpdesk professional - not indicative of first-class Helpdesk Operators. We have no doubt in our mind that you are wonderful people, but sadly our client will not consider you for the role if you don't come form an expansive background in Helpdesk Operations, and thus we must do the right thing by them. On top of that, impeccable communication skills are a must: slack-jawed mutters who are unable to enunciate other than monosyllabic words need not apply.

So here's the key points, saliently bullet-pointed for your perusal. Cut it out and keep it in your pocket as a handy reference!

The Tenets Of Helpdesk Operation

* I come from a prestigious background in Helpdesk Operation
* I will possess a capacious understanding of Microsoft Exchange
* My knowledge of Windows NT/2000 will be considerable, with plenty of leg room
* My familiarity with Unix will be comparable to Adam's familiarity with Eve
* My generalist IT knowledge is copious
* I will be able to talk good.

This fantastic role is based in the South-Eastern suburbs (therefore, own transport would be ideal), is a contract role spanning approximately 3 months and with a view to extension, and is paying a maximum of $25 per hour, commensurate with skills and experience.

Please be reminded that each time an unsuitable application (ie. an applicant without the above capacities) applies for this role, God kills a cute little kitten and implants its soul in a disease-carrying scuttling kind of insect with hairy legs. So have a heart.

Email applications only, please.

*****************************************************************************************

Hope you enjoy folks :)
 
<<< Possibly the most ingenious thing I have ever seen in my life >>

The following link shows the Honda Accord advert called 'Cog'. I went chasing it after reading an article online that told how it took 606 (thats, six hundred and six) attempts to capture this 2 minutes of footage.

There is *absolutely no trickery* (Computer or otherwise) in this ad. That said the entire thing could be called a trick, but really its the most incredible and calculated usage of physics and human ingenuiety I'd wager 99% of people here have seen.


Take a look :)

.. and for the skeptics!
 
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Wesley Likes Goon & Raving!

The latest installment of Wesley Likes Goon. In this episode, Wesley goes to a RAVE PARTY, brings his trusty goonbag, and makes a music-video!

Wesley is an inspirational pioneer for the goon-raving movement. I encourage everyone to bring along a goonbag to your next RAVE PARTY.

GOON POWER! :p

*gleep wanders off on a car-mission for goon*
 
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