Sure, sometimes it doesnt matter. But all relationships have ups and downs, its difficult to rationalize to oneself that it simply waned because eventually we all face that to some degree. In this situation I think the reason matters because he says they both still love each other. Difficult to move on if he believes that. It might be the kind of "we still love each other because we were so long together" but not that romatic or partner type of love ... Thats different, It matter less then I agree.
Its difficult to move on if someone still has that "we still have strong feelings for each other" stuck in his head without any other really solid strong reason aside from it waned. Every relationship goes through that, its unreal to expect otherwise. It hard to quickly leave those feelings behind if they were very close for years. My friend who was with his gf for even longer, it took them 2 years to separate , because they never really dedicated their focus to why, it didnt feel right anymore but after a week they were together again until it didnt feel right again. They evetually finally stopped and focused on why its not working and split for good. That is why I asked because IMO its on the best way for him to move on,to help rationalize it and understand it.
I'm just going to put this out here.
I don't think
everyone is meant to have someone "forever".
I think often these days people go into it with the idea that it'll last forever, which inevitably self-sabotages the goal.
My advice: go into it and live for the present; don't make "forever" plans for the future. You will
never be able to account for unforeseeable change. Go into it with the mindset of living in the present and enjoying yourself, and if you just
happen to stay together until you both are grey and enjoying your senior citizen discounts, then so be it and it would be icing on the cake to have achieved that without even having to initially aim for it.
For example, my Grandma and Grandpa have been married for over 50 years now and are still deeply in love and will kiss in front of other family members more than
my own parents do. With this being said, even if they weren't married, I'm sure they would have stayed together for the long haul because no matter what small issues they have in their relationship, they still both deeply love each other nad have always been there for one another. One time my grandfather collapsed outside and when my grandma heard, she
immediately ran to his side. She's at least 80 years old, but will still literally run to her husband's side. That's
true love.
If that ever happens to me, I won't be aiming for it, it'll be a pleasant surprise.
