mommalette1010
Greenlighter
Being a lost soul isn't as depressing as people tend to believe. I have been lost for quite sometime and I am in a much better place then back when I thought I knew what was going on. A few years back my life was turned upside down in a way that affected me more then any other life flipping experience before or sense and the best lesson I learned from that was that I am lost. Over the years I have grown to appreciate being lost because every day is an adventure and once I stopped looking for a destination, I started enjoying the view presently in front of me. I have no idea where I'm going but I do know that no matter what it will ultimately end in death so I hope to enjoy every moment while I have it. Being that I came from a pretty fucked up family causing my childhood to be less then desirable I started getting involved with the mind altering at a fairly young age. The first time I got high on my own accord was my 13th Halloween from marijuana. Actually, if I want to be technical, which I have a tendency to do sometimes, the first time I ever smoked a cigarette I got quite the buzz and that was a whole year before I smoked pot. I soon realized that my sleepless nights had been cured with a bong hit or two before I tried to close my eyes. That is when the self medication started. When I was 14 years old, my father passed away. I remember having to talk to someone about it because the adults around me didn't care to much for how I handled my fathers passing. I just kept on going per-usual, going to school and things of that such, and I guess that wasn't an appropriate way to react. They wanted me to start taking lithium. I called bullshit, refused to partake in such a farce, and found me some acid. I am pretty sure I felt much better far quicker then if I would have if I started taking the script they procured for me. I spent about two years taking as much acid as I could get my hands on and smoking pot every time I wanted to sleep. I was drinking also but not because I cared for it but because it was all around me all the time so why not. In all the years that I have been self medicating I have sampled the following; Marijuana(buds, leaf, in teas and food, hash & resin), opium, alcohol, tobacco, LSD(tabs, sugar cubes, & liquid), shrooms, mescalin, various prescriptions (mine and others) crystal meth(smoked, snorted, and via injection), and currently heroin via injection. I am not going to say I am some super human that is immune to addiction, but I will say that I have never had an issue stopping cold turkey for days, weeks, months, even years, with any of the previously mentioned drugs. I'm pleased as a peach that this site is available. Trying to find information on distasteful subject matter that is honest and straight to the point is entirely to difficult so when found it is greatly appreciated.
