I'm not engaged any more, as of like six months ago. I have a new job and my own apartment now. Things are going well, I'm just dealing with a little financial insecurity right now. I'm going to graduate in the fall so there's some anxiety there about what I'll be doing with myself. I did a bit of struggling with my break up, spent some time fucking practically every woman in sight, found a woman I like and nearly blew it with her. Decided to get back on the path I think God wants me on and (mostly) been behaving myself for the last couple months.
July is a big month for me, it will mark 28 years alive, 7 years sober, three years vegetarian. I think I might give up porn now. It sounds kind of weird when I read that back to myself... but I think July has become for me what New Years is to some people. I want to be a better person at 28 than I was at 27. This last year, sex has been a big issue for me. I slept with five women between January and April.
I won't lie, I had fun doing it. But when I inevitably came face to face with the consequences of being so promiscuous I could not deny or rationalize the harm I was doing. I told myself that it was only normal because I was just coming out of a serious relationship. Never mind that I was cheating during that relationship, emotionally and physically.
I don't really regret anything, actually. I wish I had behaved myself more but I firmly believe that things unfold the way they do for a reason. I have had mad experience with what alcoholism and addiction push a person to do and I think it was time for me to experience this arm of my craziness. It wasn't even as destructive as it could have been.
I mean, people get killed over cheating.
Anyway, that bit of turbulence is behind me now. I am looking forward to graduating and getting a career-y job. I'm looking forward to having an apartment I can entertain people at.
I just need a fucking couch.
July is a big month for me, it will mark 28 years alive, 7 years sober, three years vegetarian. I think I might give up porn now. It sounds kind of weird when I read that back to myself... but I think July has become for me what New Years is to some people. I want to be a better person at 28 than I was at 27. This last year, sex has been a big issue for me. I slept with five women between January and April.
I won't lie, I had fun doing it. But when I inevitably came face to face with the consequences of being so promiscuous I could not deny or rationalize the harm I was doing. I told myself that it was only normal because I was just coming out of a serious relationship. Never mind that I was cheating during that relationship, emotionally and physically.
I don't really regret anything, actually. I wish I had behaved myself more but I firmly believe that things unfold the way they do for a reason. I have had mad experience with what alcoholism and addiction push a person to do and I think it was time for me to experience this arm of my craziness. It wasn't even as destructive as it could have been.
I mean, people get killed over cheating.
Anyway, that bit of turbulence is behind me now. I am looking forward to graduating and getting a career-y job. I'm looking forward to having an apartment I can entertain people at.
I just need a fucking couch.
My bf's family is out here. Are you still in Florida?