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July Getting/Staying Sober Thread vs Birds of a Feather

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suboxone421 said:
That is a hard step to make... Congratulations on all of the steps in the right direction. I stopped abusing phenibut and am still prescribed lyrica and have about 90 caps left and 6 months worth of neurontin. I have not fully kicked the etizolam and went from all the above and anywhere from 1-6mg of etizolam plus my subs down to 1.5mg of sub and anywhere from .5-1 and I have used 2mg of etizolam once or twice in the past few weeks at a bbq I threw. I have real anxiety and rage and my body is used to being sedated because I was on up to 1000mg of seroquel with depakote for years as a kid. I was misdiagnoised and I am just a psycho and do not use psych meds... quit them plus ativan and norco 3 years ago in california. I almost killed my neighbor with a kitchen knife and was literally very scared for mine and others safety for months but It has been years since that horrible cocktail from asshole doctors who capitalize on angry kids with home problems. I need to get off the etizolam and thought about using lyrica or neurontin which I have legal scripts for. I do not know a good tapper to come off a max of 2mg etizolam and a consistant doseage of .5-1mg. I can tapper opiates with no sweat but benzos scare me. I have 90 300mg lyricas, and 180 600mg neurontins. Can anyone please help me figure out a tapper.... Today is a good day I just am getting my daughter again in 2 weeks and it seems like her mom does not want her so I need to be level and legal soon. I am almost there I just cant drop this last step. any advice please :)
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I PMed you back. I hope that it was helpful. I am just as confused as what to use to taper down as you. I'm going to take it day by day. I really wish you all the luck in the world <3. Please keep us updated.

phactor said:
74 days!

Took this yesterday

0xhCJle.jpg
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That is so gorgeous! You snapped that yourself? Where the heck are you!?

Captain.Heroin said:
I am so proud of you; keep up the great work! <3

I know what you mean by 2 step; I feel like stabilizing on suboxone was that first step


Now I have 223 days off suboxone and I couldn't be happier about it :)
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Thanks CH, yes I can definitely compare the 2 step recovery process as similar to that of getting off dope to maintaining on Suboxone to then getting off subs. If anyone is a true story of success and inspiration that anyone can do this and conquer their addiction, it's you.

BlueSaffron said:
Phactor that's a great pic :)

I'm going to tell my counselor I want to go down another 2 mg starting weds. No time like the present.

eta: I feel better today. Its like 5 pm and I don't even feel sick. Usually by now my dose has worn off a lot. Maybe I'm getting used to the 2 mg drop? Last time it took me like 3 weeks to adjust, now it's been like a week and I'm better? I mean, I'll take it, it's just confusing me, lol.
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What are you tapering from? Goodluck to you <3.
 
tapering from methadone - long story short my latest run on dope was about six months, and in late May of this year I got on methadone starting at 30 mgs. I'm down to 20 now, hoping to go to 18 sometime this week. & thank you :)
 
stardust.hero said:
I PMed you back. I hope that it was helpful. I am just as confused as what to use to taper down as you. I'm going to take it day by day. I really wish you all the luck in the world <3. Please keep us updated.



That is so gorgeous! You snapped that yourself? Where the heck are you!?
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I did, that photo was taken in Prince Williams Sound. I am in Alaska for my best friends wedding and spent a few days after to travel (not nearly enough). I am leaving in a few hours to go back to Chicago.
 
suboxone421, first of all sorry to hear about what happened and i'm glad to hear you quit all that shit. Doctors like that are the reason why i'm always weary about going on any unknown psych meds. Anyway, I got clean off a 2-6mg six month etizolam habit (also MXE and suboxone at the same time) almost 4 months ago in rehab using Gabapentin and a Librium taper. It was fairly painless except for two bad days and PAWS which are still active though that could be the suboxone also. I just took the Gabapentin 3 times a day (still take it once or twice a day) and for three days I did a quick Librium taper. I've been taking Phenibut off and on for two months now which greatly helps my anxiety and PAWS but it is oddly moreish despite not really having any recreational value whatsoever. Plus, tolerance builds extemely quick so I try to use it for two weeks then stop for two rinse repeat. Hope that helps!
 
BlueSaffron said:
tapering from methadone - long story short my latest run on dope was about six months, and in late May of this year I got on methadone starting at 30 mgs. I'm down to 20 now, hoping to go to 18 sometime this week. & thank you :)
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I thought you were coming off of suboxone which you can tapper much faster... Congratulations on the good days in your tapper!! Keep us updated with your progress on that next 2mg drop :))
 
escape20 said:
suboxone421, first of all sorry to hear about what happened and i'm glad to hear you quit all that shit. Doctors like that are the reason why i'm always weary about going on any unknown psych meds. Anyway, I got clean off a 2-6mg six month etizolam habit (also MXE and suboxone at the same time) almost 4 months ago in rehab using Gabapentin and a Librium taper. It was fairly painless except for two bad days and PAWS which are still active though that could be the suboxone also. I just took the Gabapentin 3 times a day (still take it once or twice a day) and for three days I did a quick Librium taper. I've been taking Phenibut off and on for two months now which greatly helps my anxiety and PAWS but it is oddly moreish despite not really having any recreational value whatsoever. Plus, tolerance builds extemely quick so I try to use it for two weeks then stop for two rinse repeat. Hope that helps!
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Thank you! Be really careful and make sure you trust a psych doctor. If you have any doubts look it up and if it sounds wrong question everything. I am 28 now and I quit the seroquel at a 100-200mg dose per day but I was in pheonix house for smoking pot and drinking cough syrup and I hated it so they started me on huge doses and I was on probation so if I refused I could get kicked out and have to do time. I was also in daytop and my last wake up call was jail at 17. I never looked back and kept my doseages of those meds around 1-200mg a day but still took it till I was about 25. I feel a million times better off that garbage but I am always wound up now and have self medicated to ease the anxt. I used phenibut up until a few months ago and it was actually very hard to kick... I started lowering my doseages by a gram or 2 one day and then took lyrica the next until I could tolerate just the lyrica. I then took shit like flexaril and ambien occasionally to sleep but it was tough. Be careful with the phenibut even though I agree it is amazing for anxiety... Its not a great getting high drug but it has theraputic value. It sounds like you are spacing your doses but try to not use it every day which I found myself doing. The withdrawl is pretty shitty. I just want off gabbas all together. I managed to shake phenibut and lyrica I am just still figuring out thow to cut the etizolam. Hope all is well!
 
suboxone421 said:
Thank you! Be really careful and make sure you trust a psych doctor. If you have any doubts look it up and if it sounds wrong question everything. I am 28 now and I quit the seroquel at a 100-200mg dose per day but I was in pheonix house for smoking pot and drinking cough syrup and I hated it so they started me on huge doses and I was on probation so if I refused I could get kicked out and have to do time. I was also in daytop and my last wake up call was jail at 17. I never looked back and kept my doseages of those meds around 1-200mg a day but still took it till I was about 25. I feel a million times better off that garbage but I am always wound up now and have self medicated to ease the anxt. I used phenibut up until a few months ago and it was actually very hard to kick... I started lowering my doseages by a gram or 2 one day and then took lyrica the next until I could tolerate just the lyrica. I then took shit like flexaril and ambien occasionally to sleep but it was tough. Be careful with the phenibut even though I agree it is amazing for anxiety... Its not a great getting high drug but it has theraputic value. It sounds like you are spacing your doses but try to not use it every day which I found myself doing. The withdrawl is pretty shitty. I just want off gabbas all together. I managed to shake phenibut and lyrica I am just still figuring out thow to cut the etizolam. Hope all is well!
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Glad you were able to get off the crap meds and feel better.. I always reject 95% of the meds i'm prescribed and I struggle with the dilemma of whether I should listen to the doc or not. Now I know for sure that i'm doing the right thing being cautious.

I can relate to wanting to get off the gaba's completely for sure. I feel like I just replaced klonopin/etizolam with Phenibut and Gabapentin, the lesser of two evils but still habit forming meds. But I feel like if i'm going to stay clean then I need something for my crippling PAWS anxiety/depression. Hopefully, i'll start feeling better soon and then I can taper off everything for good. Or maybe I just need to accept the fact that the anxiety will never go away (i've been dealing with this disorder my whole life), and i'll just need to take a med like phenibut forever if i'm going to function normally. I mean it is legal, fairly harmless, cheap, and doesn't get me high. I need to get off the Gabapentin soon tho that shit is mind altering and not in a good way, it was helpful at first but not so much anymore. Good luck on the suboxone taper! You'll feel much better off it.
 
Back home in Chicago, about to chair a meeting. I am dog tired, but am so proud of how well I did on the vacation. It was so much more enjoyable then it would be using. The few cravings I had were when I was stressed and wanted to control a situation or had free time to myself (which was rare).

Did forget to take my wellbutrin until just now, hopefully it doesn't keep me up tonight. But, I hardly slept on the flight home (was terribly uncomfortable).
 
Hi. Im day 3 off of heroin. Just started my suboxone today after 2 days of pure hell. I've had a wonderful love affair with heroin most of my life. But the past couple of years it really took hold of me. Last week we buried my 24 year old nephew, lost him to an overdose. That was my turning point. I need to get clean. Nobody knows about my addiction except for my husband. So I don't have much support. I come on here every now and then and thought it would be a safe place to talk.
 
phactor said:
Back home in Chicago, about to chair a meeting. I am dog tired, but am so proud of how well I did on the vacation. It was so much more enjoyable then it would be using. The few cravings I had were when I was stressed and wanted to control a situation or had free time to myself (which was rare).

Did forget to take my wellbutrin until just now, hopefully it doesn't keep me up tonight. But, I hardly slept on the flight home (was terribly uncomfortable).
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That's awesome man! Glad you had fun! Traveling is the thing I absolutely miss the most. I just don't go places when I'm using because of fear of WDs, lack of money, lack of motivation, and I just know I would have more fun and be more outgoing if I was not addicted to anything at the moment.

I'm curious since you mentioned wellbutrin. Have you been on it long and had you ever been on an antidepressant at all before? Today is 8 or 9 weeks since I started Wellbutrin XL 150mg. I definitely feel like I notice a difference, but it's been hard to tell because of my frequency of use lately. I definitely notice the depression lifts much quicker after using than it used to. I'm curious to see how I feel on it if I ever rack up a significant amount of time away from heroin/opiates.
 
I am doing super will with my suboxone tapper. I am still at 1.5 and thinking about dropping down to 1mg. I took the biggest dump of my life today and actually weighed in at 3 pounds less... Great morning :) I slipped up and took a few doses of DOC which was stupid and honestly I was just anxiety ridden and ended up cleaning me and my wifes car for about 2 hours which was pretty fun but I think I am too old for hallucinogens anyways and Charlie and the cholocolate factory was pretty intense... sobered up and watched bad words with my wife and then slept like a baby... no profound revelations and I just got a call that I am owed about 15 grand so I am still very happy and more upset I forgot to go to the gym... or realized driving was not gunna happen :))) Happy days :)
 
8 days free of stimulants, 19 days clean of opiates. Tiny victories mean a lot to me and right now it feels like that is about all I got.
 
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