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Joining Fraternities and Sororities

K

kickme2go

Greenlighter
Joined
Jan 12, 2010
Messages
20
Hi guys, I guess this would be the right kind of place for this kind of discussion....

Any ways, a little bit about why I had the idea to start this thread. Right now I am currently in the middle of pledging to a fraternity. I know there is a lot of stereotyping that goes on about frats, etc, which I was hoping to avoid, or at the very least have an intelligent discussion.....

I'm sure it is different in every schools as far as what happens, how long pledge season is, etc. I go to a small division 3 school, so I don't know how it would compare to a frat at a larger school, but that was part of what I was wondering. On our campus, pledge season is 4 weeks, and there are certain kinds of limits, etc on what can / can't be done set forth by the college. E.g. I'm talking about hazing.

As far as the fraternity I am joining, and most of campus as far as I know, hazing doesn't occur, at least not to an extreme extent, but who knows. But where I am joining, it is VERY mental. This frat is over 100 years old, and has tons of tradition. Now that I have started to learn about it some, it really does seem like an honor to earn the right to be associated with that organization. I can't really explain it honestly, you would have to experience it. It's not all about getting fucked up and parties, etc, there are actually lessons to be learned in the process of being a member, and they are good ones.

I think a lot of it has to do with the members of your pledge line. All of us are sharing the same experience, and it's hard for all of us as well. I mean you really need them to help pick you up when you fall. We need to be one, that is what we are told. I know it might sound cheesy, but it makes sense when you go through the experience. It builds a bond b/t us, and I assure you not everyone likes each other like best pals either. But you learn to work together for the common benefit of not only yourself, but the entire line.

I was honestly pretty skeptical going in to this, and I have have definalty had the thought what the fuck did i get myself in to. But even as it starts to get harder, I start to loose the doubt about what it's all about, more and more.

I have an 18 credit hour class schedule + a job (all though it's very flexible, thank god) + an internship + all my pledge stuff. Right now I am down right exhausted, mentally and here lately, physically as well. Pledge season lasts 2 more weeks, but they are the most difficult ones. Everything is so damn near overwhelming right now it's crazy, I've never been challenged like this before. I guess what keeps me going is I know how amazing it will feel at the end of it all to look back and say I managed to accomplish it. Does that make any sense? I will with out a doubt say that the last 2 weeks were the funnest weeks I'll never want to do again. The next two will be even funner (worse, lol).

But I KNOW I can't be the only person on BL that has joined a frat. I would very much like to hear your overall opinion on it, and what you think were the most valuable lessons you learned. And if you can empathize with what I'm going through, encouragement is always welcome. :)

And for anyone who hasn't I would like to hear your opinion too! Maybe you think they are dumb, which honestly I can see some being dumb. I can only compare my pledge season to other frats on campus, but they all have their differences. I know things like hazing happen, and have heard stories, etc, about all kinds of crazy things. Share your opinion, but please keep it civil. :)

Really I'm just stressed to the max, and wanted to right down my feelings in to words. But thanks for your time.

Have a wonderful day, I'm gonna go study for a money and banking exam now. :)
 
I guess what keeps me going is I know how amazing it will feel at the end of it all to look back and say I managed to accomplish it. Does that make any sense?
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Yeah makes sense but your just rationalizing. Which I have found tends to bite me in the ass in the long run. I have nothing against frats and think they can be very helpful in networking especially in the more prestigious schools/frats. I suppose they can also mold ones character into a certain thinking. Just curious as to why you joined up? Did some of those stories intrigue you? Was your dad in a frat? Looking for like minded friends? Looking for new friends? Building a goal.

Really I'm just stressed to the max
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Probably right where they want you to be ;)

Peace,
Seedless
 
I did not think that as a whole, people would have positive things to say, lol. But I understand why, and it's okay.

A lot of people associate the word fraternity with an Animal House type image. I can't compare my campus to other places, especially large universities because I just simply haven't been there to experience it. Is it really like the typical stereotype? Come on, what's your opinion? But then again, is anything EVER how it appears at first glance?

Many many many people would stereotype drug users in to one lump category. But that is a fact that is dismissed by the very existence of Blue Light. Just look at all the different categories this form holds. As a whole, 99% of the people here are drug users of some sort. But if you really analyze the sub-forms for a minute, you start to see that an entire culture emerges, not only for Blue Light, but for each sub-form as well. And at the very basic level you realize this is a form full of people, who all have dreams and goals and faults. But that is true for any stereotyped group, minorities, foreigners, poor people, business people and.... frats.

To be honest I'm still not 100% sure what motivated me to join. Part of it is that I all ready had a lot of friends in the frat. I worked with one. One was my room mate last year, and a couple lived in my hall. I didn't know everyone in it. But the people I did know all ready had my respect, not because they were a member of a frat, but because they were good people. Part of it was to meet new friends / the networking aspect as well. And part of it was curiosity to be honest.

I didn't do it too party, in regards to that aspect, I have all ready had my fair share and am quite frankly growing out of it. I started smoking weed pretty young, and I remember when me and my friends made the pact that weed was the only drug we would ever do. Then I was there a few years later when some of these same friends valued $20 of coke more than our friendship. Going in to it I was a skeptical person, I have always followed the motto that if you have more "friends" than you can count on one hand, your lying to yourself. This I learned from experience. And to some degree I still follow that motto.

The process I am going through is basically a huge psychological game. It would probably make an interesting case study. And yes, it is rigged. We were explicitly told that from the start. It's not liked any one was duped in to a process they didn't know was coming.

The feeling I have right now, is almost exactly the same feeling I get the day after I just got done having a crazy trip on LSD. Like certain aspects of the world seem to have shifted in perspective. It's hard to explain.

One thing I want to point out is that every member of our pledge line has to put in some effort, and every one is stressed / etc. And some people have certainly pulled more weight than others by far. But every one is going to need a hand at some point. And when it comes to that, I'm NOT gonna be the one that isn't there because I was too selfish or tired or didn't care, even if not every person would do that for me. All though I hope they will, and know some will. If you can't understand the logic in that, then I don't know what to say for you, that's truly a shame.

Oh yea, something else I found out a long time ago:

Those that are the quickest to call sheep usually have the most wool in the flock. ;)
 
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http://www.everythinginmoderation.org/2003/11/the_effect_of_severity_of_initiation_on_liking_for_a_group.shtml

Not really a judgment on fraternities on the whole, but it is an important thing to consider when you think about how much loyalty, et cetera, that you actually owe to a fraternity.

If you don't feel like reading it, the gist of it is that this study demonstrated that when people are required to go through a fairly severe (in terms of unpleasantness - this particular study used embarrassment) initiation process to join a group, you are more likely to ignore negative aspects of the group and become more attached to the group, as a way of rationalizing in your mind why you went through something so unpleasant.

It's a pretty interesting phenomena, I guess the same idea is part of the reason basic training is intentionally made so stressful and tough by the military. Once you finish it, you're a lot more likely to feel attached to the military. After all, you MUST love it, since you went through such hell to get into it, right?
 
Scureto1, you bring up a valid point.

But that is a point that is true with anything. If you had to work for 2-3 years to buy a new car, you would logically value it a little more than if your parents just gave you one. Or if you sweat all summer working in your garden, you would appreciate the vegetables you grew better than the ones you could just buy in the supermarket. Even if they aren't as big, maybe they don't even taste as good, you still put all that work in to growing them, and in your mind they are better.

It's not like I can't admit there are problems with frats, or even the one I'm joining.

I guess it sounds like I'm trying to rationalize this. Yep, sure am. But people rationalize things they do all the time. Just look at people's drug habits.

But like bagochina said, rationalizing tends to bite in the ass in the long run. Good point as well. I'm want to analyze it too though.

Thanks for bringing up good points. :)
 
As far as judgments on fraternities go, I think it's the same as any other group. What comes out of it is directly related to what goes into it. If you go into it with the kind of attitude that you're saying you have, then I would imagine that only good things are going to come out. You're going to have a community, a sense of responsibility to it, contributing to something that involves more than just you. And you're going to help build up the other people involved as well.

On the flipside, if a person goes into it with a sense of elitism, feeling that they belong in this group that others don't deserve to be a part of, then the same type of garbage is going to come back out. I think this type of person is where the typical frat "bro" stereotype comes in.

Of course I don't have any sort of numbers on how many people go in with either type of attitude, but I'm sure that the second kind is much more memorable when people run into them. You tend not to notice when someone acts like a normal, decent person, but you definitely remember when someone acts like a douchebag. For that reason, the "bro" stereotype is the one that sticks out in people's minds.

But, as I said, I think what goes in is what comes out, and if you're with a group of people that feel the same way you say you feel, then I think the results are going to be good.
 
I joined but after a few months realized there was really no point at all. Some people may love the experience and enjoy the parties and all of that stuff but I had a big enough group of friends and was friends with several groups of frat guys so was involved in all of that stuff without having to pay the dues or deal with all of the other stuff that comes with it. It ended up just making more sense to drop the frat and do my own thing.
 
Well im a senior in high school and have absolutely no intention of joining a fraternity. While I don't have any first hand experience with these kids from everything you hear/see on tv and movies they sound like a bunch of douche bags!
 
I'm a junior in Uni.... Frat guys come in all shapes in sizes. I never pledged (could never subject myself to be such a bitch....) no offense.

But i guess you get "life-long" a.k.a (4 years) of "bro's" to chill with and hot sorority girls to mack on. Which AINT BAD at ALL!

I go to a mid sized state school with decent Greek life.... man O man r sorority chicks NICE to look at ... especially in the gym... inf act.. they make going ot the gym bearable...
 
was taking 20 credit hours, working part time, and pledging.
greatest experience i never want to do again is how i would sum up pledging but well worth it.

i graduated a few years back and i am still happy i went greek
i really see it as another outlet to meet more people, attend move events, and be more active in school and socially.

oh i miss u miami of ohio
happy green beer day to the kids still there
 
Sororities houses are ilegal here in alabama because they are marked as *brothels*. sucks, for guys it's not ilegal.
rush aka "hell week" is also ilegal. so pretty much takes out the fun in joining, well here in alabama.
check out your states laws as in college frats n sorts.
 
All 3 of my room mates are in fraternities. Two rushed our freshmen year, and the other one rushed this past fall.

The one thing that amazes me is the pedestal they put their fraternity on. Two of my room mates are in the same fraternity, one guy rushed freshmen year, the other in the fall of '09. Last year, they'd be talking in the kitchen and as soon as I walked in, they'd change the subject or talk in whispers. God forbid I find out the secret rituals and shit they have to go through - some of it I know consist of eating large quantities of sauces, maple syrup, dip - just random shit to wreck havoc on your body.

The funny thing is... more than once I've heard them say "After pledging, I feel like I can do anything..." They talk about it in some pseudo-bull shit lime light. If you need a bunch of drunk brothers pushing you on to accomplish something, then you lack some serious within you: drive, passion, self-motivation, burning fire within you.. whatever you want to call it.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my room mates and they're living in their respective frat houses next year which is a bummer since we won't be able to live together but I mean shit - if pledging is the hardest shit you've been, if it's at the top of your list for crazy shit at college, if you glorify the experience, then you definitely need to get out more.

It needs to be toned down a notch, because what people go through in the real world makes pledging look like some kindergarten shit.
 
Graduate Student instructors, particularly those who were nerdy in high school, will apply negative stereotypes to you. ;)
 
Fraternities and Sororities seem to be a real American thing. Over here in NZ, they simply don't exist.

But if they did, I certainly wouldn't be lining up to join. I'm not that much of a tool.

Coolio said:
Sheep in training.
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Exactly.
 
I think it COMPLETELY depends on the individual, and the general characteristics of the members of the fraternity\sorority.

I go to a mid-sized university, and I don't know a ton about our greek life (never considered rushing or even looking into it), but I know quite a few members of frats\sororities. Most of the people I know are nice, considerate, humble people. They have pride in their particular organization, but they don't act as though they are better than people. I live next door to an apartment of 5 frat guys. Their brothers are frequently over and I've gotten to know a lot of the guys in that frat- most seem like decent people.

There are a few particular frats\sororities with awful reputations for being "snobs" and whatnot, but the rest seem cool.

I think it's just a matter of personal preference. If you feel you have a big enough social circle and are content with making social connects on your own, then greek life may be a waste of time... but some people really crave the bonds that fraternities\sororities create, and IMO there is nothing wrong with that.
 
Seems fucking stupid to me. A friend and BLer said, "it's like paying to have friends."
 
What exactly are fraternities? What makes them training grounds for superficial people? I've heard these stereotypes, I just don't understand why they exist...
 
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