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  • EADD Moderators: Pissed_and_messed | Shinji Ikari

Jobseeker's Allowance Megathread ver. The Jeremy Kyle Fan Club

^^
I remember at the height of the credit crunch the TUC said increase the dole to £120 a week to give people some kind of living standard. That seems to have been thrown into the long grass now tho.
 
I wouldn't have so much culture shock as I've spent time there already, would be different working there for sure than just visiting but I think I could cope and I'd make sure I was semi fluent in the language before hand, picking it up nicely already after a few hours today and yesterday.

I need to brush up on my spelling and grammar etc before hand, anyone know any good resources for me to do this?
 
Im fast finding out I know little about the English language, grammar etc.

Prepositions, modal verbs etc....head explodes!! I've got a lot of learning to do before I'm ready for a TEFL course.
 
I've got a work type class thingy that JCP put on this coming Monday. When I'm in I'm going to ask about information on going back to school. I want a career for life not just a job.
 
TheSpade said:
I wouldn't have so much culture shock as I've spent time there already, would be different working there for sure than just visiting but I think I could cope and I'd make sure I was semi fluent in the language before hand, picking it up nicely already after a few hours today and yesterday.

I need to brush up on my spelling and grammar etc before hand, anyone know any good resources for me to do this?
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TheSpade said:
Im fast finding out I know little about the English language, grammar etc.

Prepositions, modal verbs etc....head explodes!! I've got a lot of learning to do before I'm ready for a TEFL course.
Click to expand...
i've always found it a bit odd that so many people seem to think that purely because English is their native language, teaching English to foreigners is an easy option.

having proper English skills and knowledge is something that most people don't possess. being able to teach is a completely different skill that most people don't have either.

it's like saying that because you can walk, you'd make a good physiotherapist. or something. ;)

i bet that most people doing TEFL are completely shit at it but their employers & students don't know any better. so yeah, sounds like a good option heh.
 
felix said:
i bet that most people doing TEFL are completely shit at it but their employers & students don't know any better. so yeah, sounds like a good option heh.
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I have mates who do it. There are some good teachers but they're eclipsed by the chancers. Sounds like Spade would fit right in. Go for it.
 
i bet that most people doing TEFL are completely shit at it but their employers & students don't know any better. so yeah, sounds like a good option heh.
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This is it. :D

There's a need for English teachers the world over, the demand is filled up with shit teachers who fancy living in exotic lands for a while and getting paid for it. I don't care if I'm good at it or not tbh as long as they pay me. ;)

Most companies just want anyone who's a native speaker and will happily overlook everything else like qualifications etc. It's mad but it's how it is from speaking to a load of folk who do it. I have no doubt my teaching skills are pure pish but I want to go live abroad for a bit and travel around whilst making money, seems like one of my only options tbh. Why let the fact that I'm shit at it stop me? :D
 
TheSpade said:
Why let the fact that I'm shit at it stop me? :D
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that has NEVER stopped you doing anything before, so no need to break the habit of a lifetime.

good luck, and remember to get some 'easter eggs' in there... do like i do with all the johnny foreigners i meet: get them to say 'fit like', 'nae bad' etc. and teach them to insert words like bellend and sheepshagger into polite conversation.

never a dull moment, haha.
 
In my first year of uni my Chinese flatmate asked what you call one of those scourer-backed sponges, and I immediately said "we call it a vagina". My do-gooder flatmate told him I was playing a cruel joke. Bitch. That was going to provide laughs all year.
 
Sadie said:
I want a career for life not just a job.
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Is there really such a thing?

What do you believe is the difference between a job and a career?

TheSpade said:
Why let the fact that I'm shit at it stop me? :D
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I'm liking this attitude in you Spade - good on you go for it <3






Suppose I better leave this thread now 8) i'm a salary-slut who will not be getting a pay rise this year...
 
felix said:
that has NEVER stopped you doing anything before, so no need to break the habit of a lifetime.

good luck, and remember to get some 'easter eggs' in there... do like i do with all the johnny foreigners i meet: get them to say 'fit like', 'nae bad' etc. and teach them to insert words like bellend and sheepshagger into polite conversation.

never a dull moment, haha.
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Cheeky cunt. :D

Aye defo mate, it's funny I kept meeting South Americans who would tell me there English wasn't good then would come out with crackers. Example one being this Peruvian bird in Arequipa when I told her I'm Scottish saying "Lets get pished ya cunt" and another being this Brazilian I was chatting to in the queue for the toilets of Bobs Burgers saying "I need a piss and a shite". Clearly well taught from someone. :D
 
hehe.

one of the most challenging things i've ever attempted was to get a german guy i worked with to say 'cunt' in a scottish accent. you know, with the 't' a bit silent or half pronounced. or if you'll allow me to get technical for a second, as you're gonna be a so-called English teacher - a "glottal stop". ;)

it's actually impossible to do.

they also don't have the 'th' sound in german, so they feel weird saying it.

\cool story bro
 
I've taught my Sao Paulo mates to call people cunts, it's funny being in a club and someone bangs into them and they say "CUNT" really loudly at them, cue bemused looks from the offender. But aye it's near impossible for I think anyone but us to pronounce words with T's in without actually saying the letter T. Im always getting asked to 'speak Scottish' when travelling as most folk from far away think we speak English as a second language I've found so I just play along and talk pure slang and swear words in the hope they'll remember them and start using them. Or I tell them it's gaelic :D
 
oh fuck yeah, as far as other people know i speak at least two languages fluently. :D you just need to speak to another Scottish person for two minutes and most foreigners get completely lost straight away, they don't have a fucking clue what you're on about. very handy sometimes.

even americans have complimented me on my command of the english language. i really wish i was making that up. ;)
 
Aye man I can believe it and it is indeed brilliant when there's 2 Scots and a room of foreigners who have a good grasp of the English language because when they ask you what the fuck you were just talking about and you tell them you were speaking English it blows their mind. :D

I have however managed so brilliantly to tame my Scottish when abroad that people don't realise I'm Scottish anymore and think I'm English or sometimes even American. I always get told I don't sound Scottish and I have to tell them I play it down because otherwise no cunts gonna understand me. They tell me it's a compliment but I get a bit offended, I want to be Scottish, I'm proud to be Scottish and I want to sound like I've got a Scottish accent whilst still being understood. Someone asking if I'm English fucks me right off.
 
ultimate insult that, like.

on my last job i had a wee scotland flag sticker on my hard hat, just to ensure i wasn't mistaken for an englander, or worse, a german. ;)

also on Euro bike trips, my Saltire helmet, scotland flag on the reg plate, and one on each side of the petrol tank hopefully ensure johnny foreigners never mistake me for a guff. :D

but yeah, having to enunciate clearly to non-native english speakers for 5 weeks is pretty fucking tiring like. it's like dealing with all the geordies i work with offshore at the moment. ;)
 
I can deal with people asking if I'm Irish, even American but not English. :|

Sounds like you make a subtle attempt to let people know you're Scottish. ;)
 
well, you can't take any chances like. ;)

one dickhead in the centre of Paris in the middle of rush hour traffic almost knocked us off the bike once. he was subjected to a raging torrent of foul-mouthed abuse that would have made Rab C Nesbitt look like a choirboy. i wonder if he realised i was scottish, or did he just think i was a bit mental? lol, random derailment.

back to jeremy kyle. :|
 
It's fucking mad how much we hate to be thought as of English even though the cunts live next door to us. I don't hate them or anything but I'd certainly hate to be one of them. ;)
 
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