Jesus, it's actually killing me.

ihaveabong

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 11, 2014
Messages
19
It's scary when you first see when your body can't handle it anymore. How meth can take your skin and turn it into a crumbly road and your fingers become the road workers desperately trying to do their job but being no dermatologist it just ends up with holes and picking...

I couldn't walk for days, my tendons wouldn't let me extend my legs, my arms the same, my hand went numb and arm stopped working to turn without a pop and click and pain..
Inflammation from hamstring spread to testes causing epydermitis - not sure of correct spelling.

So tendons and skin are the body being gentle in telling us of what we are doing wrong.

As a person who always hallucinated without drugs I smartly started meth, it was awesome, I scammed a meth dealer for 10 grand and went on my way living how I wanted to, but it's catching up to me, passing out, falling over stair banister.

Vision is worse than ever, telling people about spiders and it's a mark on a wall, thinking people are in vans trying to steal my dogs, people trying to Fuck with me kinda stuff, it makes me feel like tracking down the people who have done others wrong and killing them but I can't move well enough at this moment lol.

Reminds me of mxe almost, falling down stairs and proceeding to try to snort the entire stairs. In front of family. Ugh.
Amt at a 1g dose spread over an hour also should of ended me really.

I'm done being stupid, 2 days clean. Getting into higher education, health science, to be radiologist, do xrays.
Gonna learn scuba and try to teach it across world in Egypt and Australia.

I want to know how and when you noticed that shit was catching up to you.. and if anyone else wants to talk about it if they are going through something similar, I'd love to talk and chat and hopefully understand each other. I don't have that at all, not many of us uk methers.

Love ya'll, wish me a quick recovery so I can banjo, guitar and ukulele again please and I wish you the best of all possible life's in the end (: you are all worth so much, you come here to help each other and really care. It's been sad lurking and watching posters turn to R.I.P, I hope I can contribute to this place I really do. It's beautiful.

2 days clean, it means everything and nothing. O.o I'm not sure if I'm just lying to my self but I know what I want and I guess I gotta go get it... hope I can reverse this damage. Bloodworks back soon, I can't mention the worst of my physical issues as I don't know which are caused by current drug use and which are from past use and I need blood work results to see how bad, ill be in touch(:

Please share your experiences with negative repercussions and whether moderation abstinence or continuation was how you went . Peace.
 
Congratulations on starting on this new path. Like any new path it will no doubt involve confusion and trepidation but an equal amount of excitement and a sense of burdens being left behind. As someone whose son's name is in the shrine, I share your dismay but also your desire to be part of something we hope can keep even more names from that surreal mausoleum.

Banjo is one of my favorite instruments (I don't play, just appreciate) and I live in a town on the west coast that has been dubbed the "Ukelele capital of the world".=D So yes, I will be rooting for you to get back out there and fill the world with music.<3:) Thanks for the positivity and for sharing.
 
Wow nobody plays uke where I live, I'm going to get an electric concert sized one soon to add sustain to my music mixes, I play rhythm guitar, banjo, ukelele, lead guitar, acoustic guitar, keyboards and piano, drums but I have to much injury to drum for now, and I try to sing, I want to get a saxophone and a theramin too, music is going to save me.
 
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