Japanese Drug user with strong enthusiasm for otaku culture

[dopemelancholy]

I wouldn't say kratom is 100% safe but it is certainly a lot safer than tramadol.

Also I forgot how different Japanese Drs are compared to American docs. In Japan it's still pretty uncommon for a doctor to write any prescription, right? Compared to here, where you can't really seem to avoid it. For example I ended up on Adderall without that even being the reason I was going to the Dr (I do have ADD though).

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 when my dad took me to mental clinic and got prescribed 0.25mg lorazepam and 1mg abilify daily. they seemed to be scared to prescribe me anything since I was too young, abilify was something they give to autistic kids apparently to treat violent behavior or anger problem.
Generally, benzo and anti-psychotics are prescribed very easily, probably SSRI as well even though my previous doc was terrified of me going manic from SSRI all the time. None of those psych meds did anything except making me feel like zombie.
I was addicted to "use as needed" lorazepam with about 0.5mgx4 dose without knowing, I was simply told that there'll be "discontinuation syndrome".
I was one of those ignorant folk who would confuse marijuana with opioid because they have same kanji in word that describe each. except that I didn't feel any sense of guilt or shame whatsoever with habits but I think that's on my cultural dissociation after long years of isolation.
Life changed after discovering psychonaut wiki, and then all other english sources of information. I started to self-medicate and it was finally something that would actually make me feel like someone who can be happy again(which also means other thing as well).

 

[phenethylo J]

Most people talking about piracy I've seen were mostly there for porn. I don't think other things are commonly shared.
I hope that westerner with no aversion for piracy would come to convention like comiket, and scan upload the doujins they've bought along with raw japanese scans. But saying that in japanese circle would be a crime.

 

[Gridlink]

I was diagnosed with bipolar 2 when my dad took me to mental clinic and got prescribed 0.25mg lorazepam and 1mg abilify daily. they seemed to be scared to prescribe me anything since I was too young, abilify was something they give to autistic kids apparently to treat violent behavior or anger problem.
Generally, benzo and anti-psychotics are prescribed very easily, probably SSRI as well even though my previous doc was terrified of me going manic from SSRI all the time. None of those psych meds did anything except making me feel like zombie.
I was addicted to "use as needed" lorazepam with about 0.5mgx4 dose without knowing, I was simply told that there'll be "discontinuation syndrome".
I was one of those ignorant folk who would confuse marijuana with opioid because they have same kanji in word that describe each. except that I didn't feel any sense of guilt or shame whatsoever with habits but I think that's on my cultural dissociation after long years of isolation.
Life changed after discovering psychonaut wiki, and then all other english sources of information. I started to self-medicate and it was finally something that would actually make me feel like someone who can be happy again(which also means other thing as well).

That is interesting about the doctors prescribing benzos so easily, because benzo addiction is a bitch to come off of. It can literally kill you! your doctor was probably right not to give you SSRIs though. I am diagnosed with autism and have a bad reaction to all SSRIs but I do take ability and it works well for depression I think.
Also I knew marijuana and opiates used the same kanji but it never occurred to me that people would think they are the same drug because of it. That makes sense even though from an outside perspective it is kinda funny.
I think you are right not to feel guilt for your use. Only you can say what is right and safe to put in your body. So I am also glad you are able to self medicated because it seems to help you.
You mention years of isolation. Would you say you are hikikomori or do people not use that term to describe themselves? I apologize if that is an offensive question, I am just interested to know.

 

[dopemelancholy]

You mention years of isolation. Would you say you are hikikomori or do people not use that term to describe themselves? I apologize if that is an offensive question, I am just interested to know.

Not offensive at all. Otaku is associated with hikikomori and being socially inept generally.
I refused to go to school at 7th grade summer because I was burnout from the hardcore middle school exam with my mom constantly yelling at me while I was crying.
I would start having panic attack on way to school, then simply refused to go. They made me talk to school president with my parent which is basically shaming me for skipping school for a day.
The way Japanese school works is that they teaches how to integrate into society norms, peer relationship are important and if you fail you fail.
Socially inept is shamed upon, they have lot of words for it. meanwhile the term "Otaku" was taken over by those consumerist normal people who would've bullied me, spending as much as money they can to show how much they "Love".

The reason I went to western internet at all was escapism from constant cultural pressure I felt as 13 years old, I went to 4chan and then I felt like a cool person by understanding some of their english.
Then I learned english from western internet and listening to podcast. I could pass exams easily without conventionally studying for hundreds of hours.
Currently I'm practicing speaking by having voice chat with my internet friend, I'm more and more culturally alienated from Japan and I have no idea what their norms are about anymore. I would never be able to integrate to them.

 

[Gridlink]

Not offensive at all. Otaku is associated with hikikomori and being socially inept generally.
I refused to go to school at 7th grade summer because I was burnout from the hardcore middle school exam with my mom constantly yelling at me while I was crying.
I would start having panic attack on way to school, then simply refused to go. They made me talk to school president with my parent which is basically shaming me for skipping school for a day.
The way Japanese school works is that they teaches how to integrate into society norms, peer relationship are important and if you fail you fail.
Socially inept is shamed upon, they have lot of words for it. meanwhile the term "Otaku" was taken over by those consumerist normal people who would've bullied me, spending as much as money they can to show how much they "Love".

The reason I went to western internet at all was escapism from constant cultural pressure I felt as 13 years old, I went to 4chan and then I felt like a cool person by understanding some of their english.
Then I learned english from western internet and listening to podcast. I could pass exams easily without conventionally studying for hundreds of hours.
Currently I'm practicing speaking by having voice chat with my internet friend, I'm more and more culturally alienated from Japan and I have no idea what their norms are about anymore. I would never be able to integrate to them.

Sounds like the term otaku has been coopted by capitalism into a word to sell products to normies. Sort of like the term "nerd" in the US which used to be an insult, now it is used to sell overpriced retro games, MtG cards, action figures, etc.
Your English is excellent btw, although I would've expected you to have a fouler mouth if you learned much of it from 4chan, lol.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Not offensive at all. Otaku is associated with hikikomori and being socially inept generally.
I refused to go to school at 7th grade summer because I was burnout from the hardcore middle school exam with my mom constantly yelling at me while I was crying.
I would start having panic attack on way to school, then simply refused to go. They made me talk to school president with my parent which is basically shaming me for skipping school for a day.
The way Japanese school works is that they teaches how to integrate into society norms, peer relationship are important and if you fail you fail.
Socially inept is shamed upon, they have lot of words for it. meanwhile the term "Otaku" was taken over by those consumerist normal people who would've bullied me, spending as much as money they can to show how much they "Love".

The reason I went to western internet at all was escapism from constant cultural pressure I felt as 13 years old, I went to 4chan and then I felt like a cool person by understanding some of their english.
Then I learned english from western internet and listening to podcast. I could pass exams easily without conventionally studying for hundreds of hours.
Currently I'm practicing speaking by having voice chat with my internet friend, I'm more and more culturally alienated from Japan and I have no idea what their norms are about anymore. I would never be able to integrate to them.

Growing up in the Western World/ the Netherland s. Going to school,
or more like your didn t wanna go.My Mom never treated it as a fail from my side.
And never received any pressure, i had trouble going there for sure, stressful.
Looking back everything i learned that positively helped,
was picked up not on school. But in-between it.
Home-schooling has better scores, i don t doubt that.

Except one school, but that was because the teacher s, critical people !
Found the state program shortcoming [slavery was not a important subject/
according to the State], at point s incomplete [manipulative skills used in politic s / live missed] but they learned em to us so we d be able to see through the plain lies.

The State created, and see through manipulation used to get more voter's
So i learned good things there, that were not exam stuff !

You are autodidact, when you learned yourself English, i kinda did the same.
On the Oxford basis my English teacher [language teacher s imo besides the one,
teaching Dutch, were without exception ass-hole/ bad teacher. French, German and
even English. But TV, subtitled, was a better teacher, it was just then they started.

With also sending US TV series for kid s. Dutch lucky do subtitles, instead of after-synchronisation/ translation the series to Dutch. Like German s/ French do.

That i am as alienated from my 'open' country, as you from yours, surprised me.
My best, and only 'friend s' [never met em], are on Bluelight.
Tried to make new real live friendship s.
But people in general don t seem to be looking for connecting with other s, weird.
My old friend s, i tried, aren t bothered with lost the friendship s, built in our youth.

In the end worth nothing, "Hombres Para Siempre'. Comes to mind,
and "Vatos Locos". All glitter and shiney, though not in reality .
Re-uniting, no response, so my attempts essentially startled me.

So welcome @dopemelancholy , emkee