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JaNEWary -- January getting/staying sober thread

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neversickanymore said:
That made my night<3 :):D=D

How R you:D.. I saw you slip back on and it made me glad then.. I was just looking for the post,,,thought it was on this thread.. I was like holy fuck dkm so very nice to see you.. but it really is.. SO how are yo<3u?
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Awwww, I made your night? That makes me feel oh so verrrrry good! I am doing a lot better! Idk if you have had an opportunity to see many of my recent postings, but I am getting clean from a pretty decent heroin run. I am on day 4 right now of no dope. The boyfriend ended up getting sent to prison on some old distribution charges (only a 120 tho) and will be getting released 8am valentines day. Thanks to the support of this board, I am getting back into recovery and doing the damn thing! I have become really active here lately and plan to keep it up. I am even going to transfer my journals over here to the blogs. I have been keeping an online journal of my life since I was 14, which chronicles my entire using history, college days, and career. I believe last we spoke I was still in school, and have since graduated. I am really digging this site and am ready to commit to it! I love a lot of the members already (and of course, you already know you are included in that, since you're my day one!)

How are you doing honey bee?
 
Good morning, folks! Just catching up after a rather interesting week... Still have a handle on my addictions, which is great. :) Where did January go?
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
I know, right? Hopefully February and March will go by just as fast so we can get out of this bloody cold weather and into Spring!
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I'm on the same level, bro!
This freakin' weather is making it that much harder to stay clean...I'm almost a month clean from IV'heroin and any other opiates. So far, no sign of looking back yet....
 
^^

Yeah It's hard to stay clean in the winter.. when you're using, you just don't care. You can go outside in 0 degree weather in a t-shirt and be in total bliss. Hah.
 
I really would like to find a second source of income this month that does not make me feel like a scumbag. I really like my job, but I'm just in such a financial mess right now and this job does not generate enough money to engineer a way out of this practical hell. I've been up to some things in addition to work over the past few months to ensure that all of my bills, medical stuff and legal fees get paid, but it all makes me feel like a terrible person at night. It reminds me of how I would behave during active addiction, and I want to think that I am a better person than that. I want to be better than that, I want total peace-of-mind. Spirituality and positive thinking is my cornerstone to staying clean, but doing things I really would prefer not to be doing to get money to not end up destitute again really can make the spirituality next-to-impossible some days. It still makes me feel like I am living a double life and constantly spinning the wheels. So ya, would love to find something I can also do that when taken together with my normal paycheck, will be enough to survive on and allow myself to grow physically, mentally and spiritually. I'm beyond tired of the lifestyle. I need out.
 
Hmmm Redleader I think I need a second source of income too.. I was thinking of being a waitress/bartender the tips are good right? I just need to find time :D
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
^^

Yeah It's hard to stay clean in the winter.. when you're using, you just don't care. You can go outside in 0 degree weather in a t-shirt and be in total bliss. Hah.
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So true Mr. S!! When I was using i would always be outside with a t-shirt in weather where everyone else has a heavy coat on and people are like "dude aren't you freezing?!?"

I would always say "I'm from switzerland, I got a tolerance for cold" When really Switzerlands climate really wasn't much colder than what i lived with in New Jersey in the winter. Way more snow over there, but not way colder. Anyway, it was just cause i was high on heroin haha.
 
Maya said:
Hmmm Redleader I think I need a second source of income too.. I was thinking of being a waitress/bartender the tips are good right? I just need to find time :D
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That's definitely a good second job, especially if you can find a place that's busy. I used to waiter and bartend both to make extra cash at night, Fridays and Saturdays at this popular bar in the East Village. I could make $300-400 no problem in single shift. And I know people who work in the way more expensive restaurants, who make double that.

There are some places here in the city where you can make so much money being a waiter/waitress, that you literally have to pay the bar to work there, and even then, it's not guaranteed even with experience because so many people want the job.
 
Right now I live in a place that has a very low cost-of-living, so that's good, but there also just aren't any jobs. I have a record and bad credit, and a lot of employment gaps, and degrees that actually work against me because it just highlights how far down I've fallen. Ideally, I'd like to move somewhere big and ambitious, as I have the motivation and the drive. I just cannot finance a move anytime soon. It's flirting with catch-22 territory: Need a better job to move, need the move to get the better job.

Bartender would be a terrible job for an introverted, awkward sober alcoholic like myself. But I think I could probably be a waiter if given the opportunity. I also have been trying to market myself more for tutoring work. There's just more supply than demand right now where I am for academic tutors. I think I may be able to get a nice and relaxing job around April and convert my current job to only 15h per week or so, and that would be a stable situation. But that's April, and it's not even February.

I wish that applying for jobs online didn't make me want to throw my computer off of the top of a tall building, then leave the building and run the computer over with a car, and then get out of the car and set the pieces on fire.
 
I have a second job as a bartender and it's great to supplement my career job! Plus it's not illegal and I still get to hustle :)
 
Mr.Scagnattie said:
That's definitely a good second job, especially if you can find a place that's busy. I used to waiter and bartend both to make extra cash at night, Fridays and Saturdays at this popular bar in the East Village. I could make $300-400 no problem in single shift. And I know people who work in the way more expensive restaurants, who make double that.

There are some places here in the city where you can make so much money being a waiter/waitress, that you literally have to pay the bar to work there, and even then, it's not guaranteed even with experience because so many people want the job.
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Woah, pay the bar to work wow.. I have never worked in a restaurant before but I worked in retail for about 10 years but I as much as possible I don't want to work in retail again unless I am desparate. I used to work here at my job and retail work on weekends but it burned me out so much so I left my part time but now, I need extra income to pay more bills :\ so I thought that even if I worked as a waitress the tips will be good instead of just retail with a minimum pay.
 
^^

Yeah retail jobs are notoriously shitty payers. Even at a moderately busy restaurant, you'll make more.
 
So Mr. Scag it seems that all the lucrative pay isn't in CEO stuff its actually in hospitality!

I recently moved and a friend is trying to hook me up with a job clearing glasses etc at a bar she works at, any general tips you could give me? I've been working in offices since I finished school a few years ago.


I'm on day 6 of being sober, DOC cannabis which made it so "easy" to relapse for me all the time, because as how too many people put it in today's age "It's only bud." I hate that its only bud, society views it as something that is A-OK with all the stupid "420 blz it" people my age who in reality just don't have enough experience with this to know what its really all about.

So I'm feeling pretty decent, I'm not tearing my hair out and I find that I'm just not constantly tired all the time. Idk whether its just the constant 40C+ I've had all week but I've been dropping to sleep when I feel like it, instead of having to smash down several cones then lie there for a good 15-20 minutes before I fall asleep. I wake up from an 7-8 hour sleep feeling much more refreshed than compared to a 10-11 hour sleep while on bud, its to do with the REM stage I know that but dayum does it actually feel good to wake up feeling fresh.


My money isn't going down the drain either. I actually think this is the end of drugs for me. I can't see myself doing MDMA or LSD again, I can't stand meth and I've never touched GHB or heroin and never will. Alcohol just doesn't really get me to where I ever want to be, mindframe/emotional/visual just nothing. I think its time for me to hang up my shoes and quit while I'm ahead aye? What is really the point of doing drugs if all they do is fuck up your mental health, waste your money and you don't even enjoy it?

Can't help but just have this slightly "doom-ey" feeling, like as if it is "the end" and shit is just gonna be pretty boring. I do enjoy not having intense mood swings and depression all the time, but I'm just not too sure I'm jumping into this sobriety thing with all this glee and enjoyment, even though I really should be.


Can anyone relate?
 
afterlyfestyle said:
So Mr. Scag it seems that all the lucrative pay isn't in CEO stuff its actually in hospitality!

I recently moved and a friend is trying to hook me up with a job clearing glasses etc at a bar she works at, any general tips you could give me?
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Be very personable, social, good with the customers, and obviously work hard, and you'll get promoted to actual waiter/waitress where there is a lot more money. Usually they want to see how you do around the customers and whatnot before they put you in front of them full time taking their orders. So they'll see how you do bussing/clearing. If you don't seem very social or good with people, you'll likely stay doing that, which if you're looking for the most money, you don't wanna do.
 
Oh god. I really need to stay away from the non recovery threads here for a while. I am doing way too much on them shits. My apologies.

I really do wanna stay clean...and here I am referring to 2005-2006 (the year when all the chicago dope got cut with fent) as the best year of my life. STFU!
 
deltakappamu said:
It's ok to have those thoughts.. A sponsor of mine used to tell me that we aren't responsible for our first thought, but we are responsible for how we react to it. Keep up the good work!
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You are right man. Thank you.

afterlyfestyle said:
I'm just not too sure I'm jumping into this sobriety thing with all this glee and enjoyment, even though I really should be.
Can anyone relate?
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Yes, I get this a lot. Doesn't matter if I'm quitting weed or heroin. Whenever I leave something behind that I was so use to doing, seeing, everyday, it leaves an empty space in my life. Leaving a drug can be very similar to leaving a close relationship. There was a lot of time spent with that drug that is now come to an end. One must now find a way to not just replace the time spent with the drug, but to have a deep understanding of why you are better off without it. This may take some time and it's totally normal.
 
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