I've given up on giving up

[kazza_baby]

We human beings are cursed with the curse of “the one.” After traversing countless roads, after taking too many unexpected turns and even more uncalled-for detours, why does the road narrow and dwindle down into one? One stretching, solitary path that disappears into the distance of forever.

I wonder how many of you have found your “ones.” I wonder how many of you are happy with the unswerving direction, your lifetime choice. But taking things a little more seriously, grievously, can one really be happy with one?

We are limitless despite the bounds of human capacity. We are a mechanism of perpetual self-improvement or degradation; we can reach far beyond or below what we see. We can never help what we truly feel, who we truly are, how we will be. Some see this as a limit but looking closer it marks infinity. And yet we are expected to channel this gift, this curse, of infinite genius, this infinite grayness to a single cause, or worse, a single person. Even in a modern age we are not allowed to multi-task when it comes to the matters of the heart.

Love, I speak of love. How can something so confined set you free? If it hinders, is it love, true love? Why is it heavy? Why is it hard? Why is it so fucking hard?

So the beauty of love lies within the unreserved choice—- free will. We are given the ability to continuously change our minds, our religions, our hearts, and yet we decide to stay with the one. Why? Because he so special, or she incomparable, is the one.

I wonder how many of you indulge in the beauty of free will and I wonder how many of you are martyrs. Does love really set you free?

I am certain that there are a blessed few who will answer yes and yes with resounding fervor. And there will be some of you whose faces will retreat into shadows. Out of frustration with “the one” or out of not having found “the one.” Surprisingly I stand on edge between these two weights and if I am not careful enough something or someone might just tip the balance. But what balance?

Love was not meant to set people free. That is the work of harsh truth and bitter growing up. Love makes it hard to forget, love makes things hard, period. Love is not liberty. Love is not light because if it hardly weighs like anything, is it even there? What love is, maybe, is the tying of two people (the one plus the one) and they having realised that it is harder to walk with four feet than just two, walk on nonetheless. Love is persevering pain, love is a shared burden. And people in love know that is better that way.

 

[New]

Very touching.

I myself haven't a concept of true love, and all I have is desire. I'm led to believe love is akin to desire, where it drives you to do things unthinkable in order to reach your goal or preserve what you hold dear. It's an engine that moves you when life doesn't.

That's the place I think love holds. And I thank you for spurring my thoughts.

 

[(Wordy)]

Love is liberating, provided you can free your mind/heart from the narrower concept of "romantic" love, and the attendant concept of "the one" (IMO). Which means altering your expectations, learning to love yourself, and by extension learning to love all things.

 

[drEaMtiMe*@#]

^^^ i tend to agree. i think that when it comes to the entire spectrum of human emotions people should put aside their preconceived notions of what this or that should be like.. love is a unique thing, and it is hard, but i think what mostly makes it so hard is the fear of having it and then losing it.

as for myself i'm not sure if i believe in this concept of "the one". i think we all have our own individual paths which duck and weave and intersect with other peoples along the way. sometimes two paths may seem to be intertwined at one point but they all ultimately finish at their separate ends (death).

thanks for sharing this kazza. its well written and i really enjoy reading other peoples insights