geraggh34
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2010
- Messages
- 84
hey guys, this past couple weeks have not been good. My backstory is back in october i went into the hospital with heart endocarditis and them heart valve replacement, spleen taken out, surgery in leg and fluid taken out of my lungs twice etc...
on the brightside i'm alive which is pretty close to a miracle. i was completely sober from october to february. I just got back on suboxone maintenence and things are feeling better, but i have much bigger concerns. So to keep it brief i relapsed on meth, then got my first paycheck back a couple weeks later and now i've been doing it almost a week straight. I don't think my heart will make it through this if i keep giving in to getting high...
I'm literally willing to use heroin or benzos again just to get off the only one that has the power to easily take me out considering the damage that has been done.
I guess I just made this to talk to people and just get this out there so maybe i can listen to some advice. Also i even shot ice again after i swore to myself i wouldnt. I've been railing it the past few days but fuck guys the struggle is real right now and not to mention i have a good reason to know that i'm treading on ice with my life right now
on the brightside i'm alive which is pretty close to a miracle. i was completely sober from october to february. I just got back on suboxone maintenence and things are feeling better, but i have much bigger concerns. So to keep it brief i relapsed on meth, then got my first paycheck back a couple weeks later and now i've been doing it almost a week straight. I don't think my heart will make it through this if i keep giving in to getting high...
I'm literally willing to use heroin or benzos again just to get off the only one that has the power to easily take me out considering the damage that has been done.
I guess I just made this to talk to people and just get this out there so maybe i can listen to some advice. Also i even shot ice again after i swore to myself i wouldnt. I've been railing it the past few days but fuck guys the struggle is real right now and not to mention i have a good reason to know that i'm treading on ice with my life right now