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Need Help I've been having SEVERE cravings. What do you do to curb yours?

ivorymoon

ivorymoon

Bluelighter
Joined
Apr 16, 2018
Messages
92
I was trapped in active addiction for about 8 years or so. I was a poly-substance abuser but my ultimate DOC was heroin and my preferred ROA was IV. I've been clean for a little over 7 months now. It's the longest I've ever been able to stay clean.

I take Suboxone (if you're one of those people who think that those who are prescribed buprenorphine or methadone "aren't actually clean", that's totally fine but PLEASE keep it to yourself) along with my mental health medications.

The first month of being on Suboxone was great. I didn't have a single craving. However, after that first month, my cravings came back full force.

I had started out at 8mg/day and gradually worked my way up to 24mg/day. Increasing my dose made no difference in regards to my cravings. As you probably know, Suboxone has a ceiling effect so anything higher than what I'm already on won't do a damn thing. There is a debate that the ceiling effect doesn't take place until as a high as 32mg but I disagree.

Anyways, I desperately want to stay clean but all I fuckin wanna do is get high. At my clinic, I was in therapy and attended groups here and there but never really acquired any healthy coping mechanisms.

Now that the metaphorical shit has hit the fan with COVID-19, my clinic is closed. My monthly appointments with my doctors and my refill requests are taken care of over the phone until further notice.

I plan to start attending online NA meetings again (it's been a looong time since my last meeting) but you can only get so much out of that.

What do you do when you're having cravings? I'm open to any and all suggestions. I really don't want to lose my clean time. I've worked so damn hard for it.


Thank you so much. 💜
 
I'm.. A little unsure about suggesting this.

But have you considered switching to methadone? Is that a possible option for you right now?

If you honestly explain what you're experiencing I think there's a good chance most clinics/doctors would agree to transfer you.

What you describe is similar to some people I've known who were heavy heroin users who got on subuxone. I dunno how much you were using, but it's been my observation that people with smaller habits do better on bupe, and those with larger ones do better on methadone. Generally speaking anyway.

And it's a big part of the reason I chose methadone.

It may be that your cravings are largely psychological, but cravings are also a physiological symptom of your body feeling it needs more opioids.

I can't say that I've never had cravings for heroin on methadone, but I've never had persistent cravings like you describe. Mine tend to come on as a result of stress or other triggers.

As for dealing with them on a psychological level. It's tough, I mainly try to keep myself occupied. Not let myself get bored.

Wish I had some better advice, I've never found therapy all that helpful. NA meetings can help as another way of keeping yourself occupied and getting social support, but in these crazy times I know it's harder.

I know all the stress from the state of the world has done a lot to push me closer to relapsing too.

If you feel you need someone to talk to, you're welcome to message me.

Good luck man.. <3
 
JessFR said:
I'm.. A little unsure about suggesting this.

But have you considered switching to methadone? Is that a possible option for you right now?

If you honestly explain what you're experiencing I think there's a good chance most clinics/doctors would agree to transfer you.

What you describe is similar to some people I've known who were heavy heroin users who got on subuxone. I dunno how much you were using, but it's been my observation that people with smaller habits do better on bupe, and those with larger ones do better on methadone. Generally speaking anyway.

And it's a big part of the reason I chose methadone.

It may be that your cravings are largely psychological, but cravings are also a physiological symptom of your body feeling it needs more opioids.

I can't say that I've never had cravings for heroin on methadone, but I've never had persistent cravings like you describe. Mine tend to come on as a result of stress or other triggers.

As for dealing with them on a psychological level. It's tough, I mainly try to keep myself occupied. Not let myself get bored.

Wish I had some better advice, I've never found therapy all that helpful. NA meetings can help as another way of keeping yourself occupied and getting social support, but in these crazy times I know it's harder.

I know all the stress from the state of the world has done a lot to push me closer to relapsing too.

If you feel you need someone to talk to, you're welcome to message me.

Good luck man.. <3
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EDIT: YIKES sorry this is so long hahah


They had decided to put me on Suboxone due to the fact that I had also been abusing methadone during active addiction. Aside from liquor and pot, methadone is actually what I first started abusing. Well, methadone and morphine. It's only been about 2 years since I finally got off of methadone.

I guess I just wonder how well methadone could work to keep that little voice in my head from screaming at me to get high. When I would take it in the past, it worked super well to get rid of my cravings, but that's only because I took enough to get high so of course it satiated my cravings lmaooo.

The only other issue is that my clinic is a little far to drive to everyday. Well, that and I like the fact that suboxone is made so that I couldn't get high even if I tried so knowing that works as a deterrent. I just wish it worked better when it comes to lessening cravings.

I'm sure it's different at every clinic but I'm curious about your take on this: I've been on Suboxone for just about 2 years and have only had maybe 3 dirty UA's the entire time, and the last time I dropped dirty was months and months ago (I relapsed way more than that but as far as they know, I've only relapsed a few times). I've managed to work my way up from 1 week of suboxone at a time to a months worth (2 weeks worth and a refill). If I were to switch to methadone, would any of that matter or would I have to start with going in 6 days a week and a Sunday take-home? As I said, I'm sure it varies from place to place but I'm curious as to what you think/how it works at your clinic.

I'm sure those who are on methadone are getting more take-homes lately due to the virus but I honestly have no clue. What's going on at your clinic?

Thank you so much for offering your support. That genuinely means the world to me. 💜
 
Well, fortunately I don't go to a clinic anymore. Currently I get my methadone through a private doctor and get my dose at a pharmacy.

I get 4 takeaways per week. So far it hasn't been increased due to covid 19 for me. But I understand that it has in other parts of the country (Australia).

Unfortunately if it's a long drive to your clinic, that's a big problem. Because assuming they do takeaways chances are it'll take a while before they start giving them to you.

Because it's more easily abused and more valuable when diverted, the rules for methadone are always stricter.

But it depends on where you live. With the pandemic the rules are becoming more flexible too.

If you can't realistically get there to get methadone, and you'd can't transfer to somewhere closer, might it be worth trying increasing your dose of subuxone?

I know you said you question if it would help, but have you tried before?

It certainly sounds to me like a lot of your issue with cravings is your body isn't getting the amount of opioids it thinks it needs. If you're stable and on a correct dose of opioid substitution therapy, the only cravings should be pretty tolerable.

I have still experienced cravings on methadone. But it's quite clearly psychological. Triggered by stress and such. It's not persistent.
 
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Sexzd said:
Deal with it. Your cravinngs come from boredom, i know being bired is bad. But you have to weight the pros and the cons. Fucking scum man up fuck a bitch
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Is there a valid reason you're being so unnecessarily hostile and aggressive?


Instead of directing your malicious anger towards me (or others), I highly suggest that you put some time aside for deep introspection and delve into your psyche with the intent of discovering why you feel the need to lash out at people.

I'm not even being facetious or passive aggressive. I genuinely strongly suggest you figure your shit out.
 
ivorymoon said:
Is there a valid reason you're being so unnecessarily hostile and aggressive?


Instead of directing your malicious anger towards me (or others), I highly suggest that you put some time aside for deep introspection and delve into your psyche with the intent of discovering why you feel the need to lash out at people.

I'm not even being facetious or passive aggressive. I genuinely strongly suggest you figure your shit out.
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I will come back when I have something more substantial to add but I just wanted to welcome you to sober living and congratulate you on your clean time. I suggest posting in the Monthly roll call for support and suggestions. Ignore the unnecessary, aggressive , BS coming from the previous poster there's lots of good people in sober living.

@JessFR is a great new mod, who is very active and cares. I would perhaps still check into MMT, even if it was one of your DOC's. Full agonists, like methadone, are often times, much better at muting those pesky cravings than bupe, which is a partial agonosts.

You might want to keep a cravings journal here at sober living so you can track and identify the lead up to and aftermath of your cravings. It would help identify triggers and emotional states that directly proceed or follow the cravings. This will give you an overall better understanding and awareness of your craving patterns, which would help with prevention and finding out what is beneficial or detrimental or to be applied and avoided in your recovery, while also getting more advice and support here at sober living.

Glad to have you here my friend. We always need more people who are serious about recovery to join the sober living support squad😊✌...... We all need feedback and support during this quarantine and time of limited human contact.... Welcome!!
 
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Sex or self love... I'm just being honest (and I know that isn't everyone's cup of tea).

Take care and stay well <3

I've largely not been doing well mentally but am thoroughly over heroin/dope/buprenorphine. So glad. It just doesn't have the allure it used to for me. You can do this!

P.S. I know "all the clinics shutting down at once" feeling. It's quite terrible and even Trump wants TELE-MEDICAL CARE to get on with it quickly, he knows a lot of us are going to die in the way things are and he's full-on pulling the BRAKES. Hang in there. If you really can't stay well and need to get back on your medicine it should be back soon.
 
i didn't go on maintenance so i don't know how that affects things but about 6 months after i got clean i started having absolutely insane cravings. i was going nuts. i had mental health stuff going on and was throwing myself into NA, unfortunately everyone there kept telling me to do NA shit when what i really needed was medication and therapy for my PTSD. that said, NA have been really useful for me so i don't mean to slate them.

are the cravings related to any mental health things, or do you think they are boredom related?

then, at nearly 18 months clean, i had a load of horrendous personal stuff earlier this year. having got through some shit at the end of last year without wanting to use, i was surprised this time when i started wanting to. it was fucking on me. i tried so hard not to use, like a month of telling people i wanted to use and just crying at every meeting i went to. then i used and it didn't even do any of the shit i hoped, it made me unconscious for 24 hours straight when all i want was to feel good. i wrote off the next few days recovering. and nothing changed, my boss is still an areshole, i'm still underpaid in tenuous employment, i still owe my parents for paying for my rehab, but i felt better cos i wasn't obsessing over heroin being the answer anymore.

then, cos neural pathways really will fuck you, i found myself scoring again a couple of days later without even making the conscious decision to. ffs!! since then i've been clean cos we're in lockdown and i hope my brains sorted itself out by the time it finishes.

i've just realised that's not very useful, you are well aware that you can get rid of cravings by using.

on a more constructive note. my distractions when i feel shitty are practising my bass and running mostly. or going on a youtube deep dive lol.

one thing that may be useful is looking at ways to reframe heroin. when you're craving you build it up into something its not. if you build up some hobbies and stuff you want to be doing, then heroin will become something that gets in the way of that. willpower doesn't work in the long term due to a phenomenon called ego fatigue, so you need to change your entire view of heroin. easier said than done i know.
 
owwww no!!! shoot me a message any time you want CH you know i'm always here and i'm super flattered. its still up and down for me with PTSD, sometimes i am uncontrollably raging at or fearful of all men for apparently no reason, but yes, it gets better, i promise.
 
chinup said:
willpower doesn't work in the long term due to a phenomenon called ego fatigue
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I just call it determinism ;) but I can dig the concept. Never heard of it called that before.

If it's "real" I must be quite "ego fatigued".

chinup said:
owwww no!!! shoot me a message any time you want CH you know i'm always here and i'm super flattered. its still up and down for me with PTSD, sometimes i am uncontrollably raging at or fearful of all men for apparently no reason, but yes, it gets better, i promise.
Click to expand...

I'll post this publicly in case it helps anyone... I had this beautiful dream (if you know me as a person 99-100% of my dreams any given night are nightmares etc) where I had a baby kitty and it was so cute with me and it really helped my state of mind and I woke up and it was almost devastating it wasn't real. But it's like the one positive thing that's happened to me recently... was a fucking dream. I know that's probably the saddest thing I've ever posted but it's true. It really makes me miss my cat...so much...
 
chinup said:
i didn't go on maintenance so i don't know how that affects things but about 6 months after i got clean i started having absolutely insane cravings. i was going nuts. i had mental health stuff going on and was throwing myself into NA, unfortunately everyone there kept telling me to do NA shit when what i really needed was medication and therapy for my PTSD. that said, NA have been really useful for me so i don't mean to slate them.
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Sadly this seems to be a common occurrence.

There seems to be a sort of, almost honeymoon period when people initially get clean after withdrawal ends.

Then a little while later they start really craving it. Call it paws, call it what you will, but its something I've seen happen quite a few times.

But if they get past that, they have a chance for getting up some serious clean time.

Unfortunately relapse is part of recovery, it's my personal opinion that methadone and subuxone reduce those risks (though not eliminate them by any means), but I cant say I blame anyone for not wanting to go down the route of indefinite opioid substitution therapy.

Recovery is hard, different options can be more or less hard for different people, but it's always hard. :(
 
The fact that you are fully aware and acknowledging your situation is a very positive step in your long term recovery. You are doing the right thing and reaching out to other people for advice or even just talking about what you are going through is a great decision.

As lame as it might sound from a stranger, I am proud of you. As an addict we are all connected in a way that transcends our individual ego.

Keep doing what you are doing. If you fuck up, dont give up. Keep getting back on the horse and continue to fight to be the person that you deserve to be.

Eventually it will get easier and one day the struggles you face today will cease. Sometimes I find imagining the absence of struggle helps me, like just dissolving the power of my addiction by simply pretending that its not actually powerful at all. It's kinda hard to explain but its like instead of viewing my addiction as a powerful beast, I treat it as if its nothing but a pathetic idea that cant control me unless I choose to give it power.

Anyway, I am rooting for you and just remember you can do what ever the fuck you want. You write the story and you are in control.
 
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Exercise, namely, lifting heavy weights. Has been proven scientifically and anecdotally to be a life saver for healing the brain and body after opiate addiction. Starting out will be really hard, but if you are consistent and disciplined, I promise itll be worth it

Pulling a 5plate deadlift is a hell of a rush and the post workout exhaustion has better legs than methadone
 
I can't lift weights anymore. Because my wrist is all shredded. I can't even ride my mountain bike because if it.

At times, really, I can barely write anymore and hold on to a coffee cup. I used to break them like I was possessed. But I started to be more aware of being weak. Pain.

I hope that I didn't strip my wrist from doing excessive pain medication. Lol. How.

I don't think there is anything that can help the severe cravings of 24/7 now. Not yet anyway.
I'm not really that gloomy but have just not been feeling well lately. So if you don't hear from me please don't miss me. LOL. Just kidding.

But Yah, I feel like s#¡t bad.

I tried running again, but too much sugar wax clogged up my lungs. Or my arteries. 😁 ■
AnywY it's bad for my back I think. Hurt, aches,
just want to feel happiness again. Just kidding, I meant feel good.
 
exercise. Exercise. EXERCISE.

it sucks ass but it works

go run 5 miles then tell me if you still want to get high

yeah, you'll be in pain... but your body naturally releases endogenous chemicals to counteract that

works for me.... the problem is sticking to it and not relapsing

honestly running 5 miles then taking a 2 hour nap gives me as much pleasure as a light heroin high.... maybe I'm exaggerating a bit... but I still LOVE the feeling of going for a run then laying down, stretching and taking a nap. Feels amazing! Natural high.
 
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