IV speed ball, heroin, re-acidifide crack, ketamine - inexperienced - Trip Report

[Youkai]

Iv smoked crack, shot K and smoked doped all at the same time but this was the first time I combind them all in IV.

let me first say, Iv been a junky ever sense Iv been bakc in this town. hubbas and dope have been teh magority of my drug use. Im making a concious effort to get away for a few days/weeks and just stick to some good ganja and organic foods. Bute never the less I went hard on last night again.


I started out watching soem friends smoke some hubbas, I REALY wanted to smoke some but desided that I ebtter lay off them befor I begain to share teh same habbits they do. so they smoke there gram and I deside to take a shot of ketamine to the head. It was enjoyable and made my slight fiend for the crack alil mroe bareable esspesialy once teh crack was gone and all smoekd up. But the hubba circle wanted some brown for the come down and I ahvent shot dope all that much (maybe 9 times prior to this) so I desided I would go with some hero my self.

well we were waiting on the bags to arive and one of the guys I was with got a call from one of his connects about paying him back a gram of dope he was owed with 3 grams of crack, so thats when I desided taht when the dope arived, Im speed balling. durring the wait I shot maybe 3-5 10th of ketamine over a 45-60min period of time, as Iw as comeing back but still QUITE ktarded the dope and crack arived. I desided to go with an entire tenth of dope and ~50mg of reacidifide crack and had my friend shoot me up. the rush was like WOW!!!! had the bells of a dopeamine rush and the ringing of heroin. I felt alil sick for the first 2mins or so and then slipped into some awesome CEV type nod. reminded me actualy alot of deemsters but alot less spiritual. kinda like a robotic deemster flash. This lasted for maybe 20mins and I desided fuck it and shot soem more ketamine, maybe 80mg could ahve been more maybe less we just dump teh crystals in warm water and fire away untill effects are reached to our satisfaction. after the K rush I started to feel uneasy, liek maybe I went to far, my chest got realy hot and I was reminded of the fire ants I encountered over the alstw eekend in teh everglades, I started to kinda freak out but then fully emersed in the K and dope and on the come down of the coke I felt at ease, I felt "its ok to go now, its justa nother step, a step everything must atke" so I laid back and excepted that I could die then. of course I didnt die, I just... went to far.

The feelings Iv been getting lately from my altered states have been cheap and hollow, but none the elss I enjoy them for tehre own uniqueness to what I have been mroe experienced to in teh past. I just hope I can slow down and turn around befor I completely loose track.

Im still kinda fucked up on the dope, that shit makes me sick for like 24 hours.

substancecode_heroin
substancecode_crack
substancecode_cocaine
substancecode_ketamine
_combo_
substancecode_opiates
methodcode_IV

 

[IGNVS]

wait so IV speedball after a weekend of ungodly amounts of crack and acid isnt off track? and people get pissed when i smell like ganja...

lie cap'n planet always sais " the power is YOURS"

 

[recons]

It reads more like a list of drugs you did than anything, which to say the least is scary.

 

[fastandbulbous]

You're doing more & more drugs & becoming more & more disjointed in the way you're reporting it. I'd say you really need to give yourself a break from it and seriously consider thye route you're going down. The BL shrine does not need any more members as it's collected 3 in as many months during 2008 so far and nobody wants to see any more added to it

 

[Xorkoth]

True that. Nevertheless, thanks for the report. It's been useful I would say.

Please take care of yourself, Youkai. At least you realize you need to.

Also, I renamed it a bit so it would fit better. If you have a title you'd like to give it besides Trip Report, let me know.

 

[Youkai]

True that. Nevertheless, thanks for the report. It's been useful I would say.

Please take care of yourself, Youkai. At least you realize you need to.

Also, I renamed it a bit so it would fit better. If you have a title you'd like to give it besides Trip Report, let me know.

thats the reason I posted it, not to many people are shooting cack/dope and ketamine at the same time. (but the ketamine was always seperate in it's own solution)

and no title is needed.

 

[Jabberwocky]

please please be careful youkai.

don't you think it is time to stop now?

seriously, your recent posts worry me

I try not to say this in a condescending way, but especially after talking with you on the phone a few times and really realizing how wonderful and loving a person you are...it makes me worried that you might be on a self-destructive path.

What does your spiritual friend/teacher say about this recent use?

big hugs,
samadhi

 

[trancedeviate]

I REALY wanted to smoke some but desided that I ebtter lay off them befor I begain to share teh same habbits they do.

I think this is the most important sentence in the whole post. If you don't mind telling me (because I want to know) what habits is it that you're talking about?


We know the power is all in your hands and you've just lost your way a little bit recently, but it's cool. No one is perfect, I've been going through some rough times lately with coke and alcohol. I just can't seem to get away from the coke... the proportions are not the same as your use but the point is the same... I'm not happy with it. I know I'm better than that. We both are.

 

[Youkai]

please please be careful youkai.

don't you think it is time to stop now?

seriously, your recent posts worry me

I try not to say this in a condescending way, but especially after talking with you on the phone a few times and really realizing how wonderful and loving a person you are...it makes me worried that you might be on a self-destructive path.

What does your spiritual friend/teacher say about this recent use?

big hugs,
samadhi

he's done with me. starting a family and basicly told me to live in lak'eh. He doesnt like the fact that I enjoy being a lot kid. and when I go to atl, go away to other far corners of the east coast I'll be away from it all. I dont persue corner crack or dope. never have actualy my self obtained it. when I do, Im sure I'll feel alil less inside as
I did tehf irst time I shot it. But realy Iv never had a stigma against IVing, just never in teh right situation to do it.

 

[theWorldWithin]

Youkai in a matter of like two monthes you have degenerated from one of the most knowledgable psychonauts on this board (which is saying alot) to someone who cant even write english sentances. Take a break man, you may die or worse yet fry to the point of no return very shortly here.

 

[HottButtaz]

I guess I really don't understand everyone suddenly getting all critical of youkai when likely now is the time he needs our encouragement and support the most.

Don't you guys feel a little hipocritical telling him to lay off drugs now when before he was smoking dmt every day and taking some research chem or acid with it and you were just like "chase the light man, and bring me back a story"

What about when he was moving out of his parents house to live in the national forest? Only like three people in that thread told him that was a bad idea. Everyone just kept encouraging youkai to trip with their supportive "now we've found the Light! Light and Love!" type posts.

Now his life is hell with no prospects at all really, and you want him to stop the things that give him a little comfort. Basically trying to rip the blankets off him right as he is about to go into the deepest coldest night we ever get to experience.

If you can still read this youkai, I'd just like to say whatsup and if you see God tell him I said hes a faggot.

 

[stimutant]

slow down.
please.

 

[fastandbulbous]

Don't you guys feel a little hipocritical telling him to lay off drugs now when before he was smoking dmt every day and taking some research chem or acid with it and you were just like "chase the light man, and bring me back a story"

Well I thought that a tad excessive, but at least all of his posts were OK gramastically & syntax wise, indicating that it was all just flights of fantasy. now that's goning downhill rapidly, it's giving several people cause for concern.

I guess I really don't understand everyone suddenly getting all critical of youkai when likely now is the time he needs our encouragement and support the most.

No, I don't think anybody does as it's not critical in the sense of being intellectually harsh, it's bourne from concern that he's doing more than a body & mind can take & stay together. As far as I can see, everybody's being supportive in their own way & nobody is saying things that are insultingly critical

Now his life is hell with no prospects at all really, and you want him to stop the things that give him a little comfort

There's 'a little comfort' and there's pressing all the self destruct buttons and to most people here it seems more like the latter - how the hell can you describe 25 tabs of acid and a load of crack as 'a little comfort'?

If you have a problem with the people here at BL, then that's your perogative, but don't use concern for youkai as a stick to try and beat them with as it does nothing to help youkai

 

[Jabberwocky]

HotButtaz, I cannot speak for everybody here, but I will not justify my concern for youkai for you. It actually is a number of factors that are not revealed to you that has led to me being worried about my friend, Youkai.

Things are not always as they seem, did you not learn this on a LSD trip also?

We are people, also. Real people, complicated.

So, again, instead of being negative, why not try to contribute something positive? It's your choice.

 

[bickoma]

Youkai, a friend of mine who isn't even a bluelighter stumbled upon this trip report and sent it to me. Perhaps it's time not just to slow down, but take a break for a while.

 

[Xorkoth]

HB, I can see your points for sure. I've always been worried about Youkai on various levels. However, just because people are more worried now doesn't mean they shouldn't be or there's something wrong with that. Certainly you don't think smoking DMT all the time is worse than smoking crack and shooting heroin and coke, do you? One is clearly much more damaging to the body, hence the concern.

 

[HottButtaz]

FastandBulbous, I don't have a problem with anyone here on bluelight, but I do like to express myself and I find I sometimes have different opinions and feelings than others.

SS, I see that we have a difference of opinion and sentiment, because I don't understand where you're coming from. It seems like in this inscrutable world sometimes gentle words of happiness can be 'negative' and strong 'negativity' can bring about 'positive' outcomes? Or perhaps I don't understand and my thoughts need to complete another cycle.

Xor, I think its kind of a f'd up compliment to say that this report provides useful information.. It only seems to be an expensive test of what the human body can withstand without stopping the heart.

And yes, I definitely think that DMT or other psychedelics can be as dangerous as narcotics. When I've taken heroin my ability to direct and control my mind has returned to normal levels as soon as it left my system. Cocaine seems to silence my thoughts and give me better control of my mind than anything I've ever encountered. And after taking the drugs I was left with easily identifiable cravings that I could understand and relate to.
On the other hand, tripping leaves me nearly powerless under the sway of the complicated ideas I've formed about 'how things work', giving ridiculous urgency to existential matters in my mind at the expense of the quality and clarity of attention I can pay to the day to day matters of real life.

So while DMT doesn't cause the body to deteriorate as badly as crack does, I can definitely imagine it being as bad for the life of the user. And at this point I think we may be seeing youkai suffering effects similar to but worse than those I describe. He seems to have his idea of the world completely backwards, as maladjusted as you get imo. I actually hope for his sake he gets born again.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hottbuttaz, firstly, you're free to express yourself. However, I don't want this thread to turn into a Bluelight vs. Hottbuttaz thread though. Its not appropriate. I will close it before it gets to that point, I promise.

I agree with you, in principle, that DMT or psychedelics can be harmful. But, in practice, this is not how things have played out for my friends and I.

Excepting one friend who had a very terrible time after a 'bad trip' (and probably definitely had mental issues to begin with), every one of my friends who have stuck with just psychedelics are doing wonderfully in their lives. They are graduate students, teachers, therapists, and artists.

My friends that went into meth, heroin, pharmies, etc are not doing nearly so well. They are struggling, in fact.

And lastly, its hard for you to infer about Youkai from a few of his posts. Youkai is definitely...different (we all are though!). Its hard for me to infer about how he's doing and I've also talked to him on the phone through this time period you've seen him posting about crack and heroin.

So, let's hold our horses instead of making any tendentious claims about somebody we don't really know. We can advise, nurture, and love, but let's not pigeon-hole.

peace,
samadhi

 

[Xorkoth]

Thanks S_S. I'm glad you posted, HB, because I know you're a thoughtful and intelligent person and I enjoy hearing your thoughts. I think people react negatively to your sharing of your thoughts a lot of the time because it comes across as very confrontational and purposefully provocative. Perhaps it is, and perhaps there's nothing wrong with that, but you've got to expect that sort of response to that sort of statement.

And I still do think this report has some use. It's useful to me in seeing what kinds of negative effects all these drugs can have on a person. But reading back through it I can see how some kid might see it and think "dood, sounds awesum!!!1". Then again, nearly every report out there on Datura and its like is a train wreck that makes me not ever want to touch the stuff, yet plenty of kids read them and try it, as is clearly evidenced by the influx of new reports.

I guess the problem is that some people are just going to do stupid shit whatever you do. They'll do stupid shit if they read an irresponsible drug forum, they'll do stupid shit if they read a thread that starts with someone giving bad advice and ends with that advice being shut down and good advice added, because they read what they wanted to hear and stopped, and they'll do stupid shit if they read that they shouldn't because they want to try anyway and they were only looking to make themselves feel better about it, not to actually learn something. And they'll do stupid shit if they never read a damn thing about it and just heard from the local drug kid whatever crap he believes. The idea is that if you provide a place to openly talk about it, the people who aren't going to just do stupid shit regardless will have a place to gather a wide variety of opinions and form an educated opinion. And the people who are going to so stupid shit regardless will do stupid shit... regardless.

 

[Cthulhu]

I haven't been around bluelight as long as you guys, but this all saddens me. What's the very best thing you can do for yourself right now, Youkai? From what I gather this situation is a product of who you're hanging around with, and that will change shortly. But more so than that - maybe u need some stability in your life? I wont comment any more because obviously I don't know you and it doesn't seem right to give advice to strangers - but I feel like I know you on some level, and you definitely have it in you to get to a better place.