IV MXE + Zolpidem - first time - Drunken M-Hole.

[BrainDamagedGeek]

I know this is basically combining two (IV) tabboos. Forgive me. At least the experience was well documented!

I suppose I'll offer this trip-report as a kind of morbid case-study for anyone considering the interactions of these substances in this way. Powerful and strange and definitely not proper for a person in an emotional state... Or anyone with common sense. Hah...

The Setting: So about six months ago, all of my associates were raving about this new stuff called "MXE." Of course most of us know of it by now.
I had to get some. I was supposed to be clean. I was flirting with sobriety and relapsing in dangerous splurges. K was my D.O.C. So MXE was tempting to me.
Well, the night came where I fell of the wagon. As a dissociative junkie and a reckless mixer of substances, I found myself with a MXE /ambien preparation, ready to go... alone in my room after a night or taste-testing MXE and IV methamphetamine.

I don't know why I enjoy IV ambien, or why I prefer ketamine IV, but I scribbled a short note stating what I was about to do, (in case something happened.) I've never done this particular mix before (IV ambien + K / MXE) and didn't know too much about MXE at the time. I know it was stupid. Don't waste your replies telling me this.

(I like to think I'm beyond this type of behavior now.)

Anyways, I enjoy K and ambien but know that the two together could easily produce a blackout. I guess I was confident I could avoid this with some kind of K/MXE cross-tolerance and the lingering speed in my blood.

I pause before pushing off.

BOOM. I felt instantly and utterly ripped from reality and into a kind of "twilight," reality. The light was different. It seemed as if the golden glow of the after-life was invading the room. Everything shimmered and had a soft and spongy feel to it. It had the brownish-orange coloring that comes from MXE as well as a greenish-yellow radiance I relate to a shot of ambien.
I felt a rush of disorientation. My preoccupation with iTunes fell away as I tried to wrap my mind around what was happening, as well as what drug was doing what.

I felt a sense of catharsis akin to becoming very drunk, very fast, after a week of heartbreak and angst. I wanted to cry. I lost motor control and in a drunken state, I sank to the floor and crawled over to the couch. Everything was overwhelmingly beautiful and sad. The psychedelic effect of the MXE had me in an emotional and reflective state. There I wallowed in bitter-sweet introspection for a short while. Must have been fifteen minutes but seemed like a few hours.

I realize now that I was surely in the M hole. The fleeting speed high was definitely subsiding and my emotional torment was likely augmented by the flood of disorienting GABA via the ambien.

The "twilight," reality broke as I realized the light was, in fact, the first rays of dawn coming in through the window. I sat in silence trying to digest the experience. In a spiritually surreal moment, I acknowledged the golden dawn as a second chance of sorts.

I wobbled to me feet, and out the door to have a smoke. My motor skills had not yet returned. I don't think I felt back to "normal," until much later. Maybe even the next day.

It was an overwhelmingly emotional ride. I was definitely askin' for it. It was out-right dangerous! and yet beautiful. I was being very reckless indeed.

This was the last time I experimented. Been clean since.

__________________________________________

To re-cap. / TLDR: 1.5 tablets of ambien and roughly 60mgs of MXE in IV form = Intense rush. Combined psychological effects: A cathartic release mixed with psychedelic introspection; drunken M-hole. Loss of motor skills and surreal exaggeration of light.

 

[BrainDamagedGeek]

I left this part out. I was feeling suicidal at the time. I'm sure this influenced my trip. It was basically a near death experience.

 

[cryptix420]

That is intense man. I have a hard time with needles, I feel it is a decision that many never come back from. I'm glad you're ok and hope you took something meaningful away from your experience. These drugs we play with are powerful indeed..

 

[Thou]

I've been toying with the idea of IV mxe for a few weeks.

I've never IV'd a drug before, mind you. IM ketamine was the best I've gone. I'm a nurse and am still quite hesitant to introduce these things directly into vein.

But I must ask, did you have any physiologic complications? Was it better than oral, rectal, sublingual, intranasal? Im?


Was it worth it.

I need to know. I've some on the way, find it better at achieving samadhi and spirtual oneness than ketamine because its duration is longer and its not as hedonistic, and want to know if I should mainline it.


Please let me know, and thank you for your report.

Thou

 

[BrainDamagedGeek]

cryptix420:
Ya man, needles are no joke. permanently changed my game.
And yes, I feel I did.

Thou:
Gooood question! Well, drug purity + hygiene aside, I suppose the most dangerous thing about IV (of anything really) is the intensity. It's a double-edged sword. It is both intense and fleeting.

The onset is fast, and can be a bit frightening. One becomes used to it. And then, of course, the plateau isn't satisfying because more conventional methods have you use to the plateau being the center-piece of the trip, and here, you feel it is merely a drawn-out "goodbye".

So before long, you end up chasing that initial BANG. This quickly depletes your stash, and begins to cause behavior problems...

That's my only warning. But then again, I am a fiend.

That would be the only danger in my mind. No pun intended. Psychological complications? Besides feeling weird for the rest of the day, no. But I believe that was due to all the other stuff I had used in combination.

No lingering effects.

The best rout to administer MXE would probably be a large oral dose. Possibly with a smaller nasal bump later on. IMing it was pretty effective and had the same effects as IMing K respectively.

Was it worth it? I feel that most of the crazy things I've done were worth it in the end. At least because I'm lucky enough to come out of even bad situations with some deeper knowledge of sorts.

I hear what your saying though. I feel, over all, that it was worth it. I am a psychonaut, and a spiritual person. I definitely witnessed/perceived unique things about myself and the universe by using it this way.

K vs MXE:

I like how you described it there, and I think it's true. It is a bit longer and a bit less confounding. The thing is I feel like I had retained my ego for the most part. Where I think I remember K being more bizarre that way. This had it's advantages and disadvantages. Sometimes I like leaving it behind in an intense journey.

My Ex called me during a point while I was very high on MXE. ! Ya, I know, right? That could have been a disaster. Miraculously I, interpreting this as some kind of sign I could and should make peace.

Besides being a little spaced, I was able to search my feelings and disregard the hurt, spiteful ones and say some brief but kind things that left me, and perhaps her, feeling much better.

So ya, case in point; a clearer head with lighter ego. It seemed earthier to me than K. I think it might be nice to add to a shroom trip. Where as K and LSD are a nice pair.

 

[BrainDamagedGeek]

To sum it up: I don't want to recommend such a potentially disastrous method of administration. I'd feel like a jerk. Lord knows what kind of bad Karma I'd get if you became a junkie. You can IV psychedelics but nothing else! Please! lol. You say you are a nurse, though. (Good on'ya, man!)

I'd only feel OK about recommending the IV route if you had used something IV in the past. If not, you would have to make that "jump," on your own conscience. You know what I mean? :-/ If you have had experience with IV, give it a try.

I trust you though. I like what you were saying. And we both know what the Good Doctor said; "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me."

 

[THE HZA]

mmff

 

[tentram]

Was it worth it.

IV MXE is not worth it in my opinion. it rips you much to fast to even grasp what the fuck is happening for 30-45 mins and not in the fun way that K does. i'd keep to using it sublingually or IM if you've for yourself micron filters.

thanks for the interesting read.