Psychubus
Ex-Bluelighter
- Joined
- Feb 14, 2006
- Messages
- 1,256
The reason I love IV K so much is because it's so outstandingly surreal, it feels like an ENTIRELY different drug than when done orally, intranasally, rectally, or IMed. Hell, I personally never liked ketamine until I started shooting it. And once I did--it was the most incredible rush... I was in love.
The first few days I attemped IV K I got sucked in the hole too quick, and it ended in a disaster. The reason is because I'd go into one hell of a hardcore K hole and recognize how meaningful my trips were... only to forget what I tripped as soon as I sobered up. The trip was so beautiful, like I just fell out of a dream, that I'd try to return to the tunnel almost immediately, to take me back into the same spot again. When shots were once 20 units, they soon became 95 unit shots within no time. One vial could easily run out in one night, unless I passed out--whichever came first.
The first night, I woke up nearly 12 hours later STILL tripping from the previous night, and puked a good 8 times or so within the hour. I do not recall shooting up this much K, though I was equally surprised to wake up and discover that I still have a physical body. As soon as the nausea subsided, I was up and at'em again, like a real American superhero.
No matter what the dose, the last one just never seemed that intense enough; I always wanted more, more... because in the void, the possibilities were meaningless. Picture your deepest desires, your darkest thoughts fully manifesting themselves into vivid dreams so realistic, everything you ever accepted as truth about this universe crumbles before your very eyes. You learn that your life as an individual is meaningless when put in perspective, and merely a piece of the bigger plan. That everything was working in sync towards something higher, and your lifespan was merely a microdot in this infinite spectrum of a puzzle. But the moment you accept this as truth, this is when it becomes dangerous, for you have just fully surrendered your will to live.
I wanted more of god, I wanted to feel MY SOUL surging through my veins... So that I would never come back to this world again. I carved a masterpiece with a fine tipped spaceship, and the missile was buried in the woods of this neck. I shot a rocket, my precious space comet, straight up in the sky to the next dimension, in hopes of bringing a piece of heaven from the other side. Out with a bang, the fireworks were set; nuclear explosion catapults in sky, falls in eternal tunnel of Pi. TRUTH.
My fantasy was falling into a bottomless pit, and it was both fear and thrill at once; it was CLIMAX. The abyss was so dark and mysterious, when the walls started breaking down, I just knew I was on the verge--hell was about to break loose.
K dreams are so full of truth and meaning, one must never ignore them... not if one is to prevent psychosis anyway. I had many, many dreams warning me about the future long before it happened. Some fairly recurring themes in dreams were falling down endless tunnels, racing on the freeway and eventually floating away into the stars, jumping through windows into garage basements, and shooting up air bubbles until I was paralyzed.
These are definitions of some of the dream symbols as according to this dream dictionary: http://www.soulfuture.com/dream_dictionary/dream_dictionary_main.asp
Fall ~ A need to establish balance and stability, Feeling helpless or out of control
Hole ~ A portal to another realm or an entry point to a new phase of your life, may symbolize the void, the unknown, a gateway to new awakenings and experiences, A peep hole - try to see what’s on the other side of the hole. Seeking refuge, withdrawing or finding a safe place to lie and wait until matters improve. Depression, climbing into a big black hole
Racing ~ Needing to learn to slow down and relax. Human beings collectively, humanitarianism, the human race
Floating ~ Being conscious of your out-of-body state. Failing to take charge of your life, floating around aimlessly
Stars ~ Symbolic of your spiritual connection, Your point of connection to the Universal energy field, A reflection of your inner light, Symbolic of the number 5
Window ~ Looking/going into a window may indicate looking inside, going within, examining self
Garage ~ Hiding from the world, Seeking protection from your environment, Needing to take time out, Not participating in life
Basement ~ Repressed emotional issues, The root or basis of a problem or situation, The subconscious mind
Injection ~ Something that needs to be embodied or incorporated within you - note the substance (in my case it was air, I found it interesting that my body knew it was oxygen deprived and was depicting this in dream form. I have read that ketamine OD occurs with oxygen deprivation, like heroin... so if a user passes out, one can resuscitate them with CPR.)
Paralysis ~ Escapism or avoidance of responsibility, Withdrawing from life
But even if I were to have overdosed and died at this point, I would not have looked back and regretted it--for after seeing a glimpse of the bigger goal the universe was striving towards, I knew that if that was my time, I would gladly surrender my life to work in motion with what the cosmos expected of me.
People have warned me that once you step into the hole, you might never come back out. Well, I'm not sure when it all started getting out of hand for me, but one day my lucid dreams took a sharp turn downhill into living nightmares. I would often catch myself waking up out of trips screaming and attempting to kick off imaginary people. Having just barely gotten "addicted" to IV'ing K for a little over a week, this was the shortest amount of time compared to other addictive drugs, for it to already turn into full-blown psychosis.
Then that psychosis became delusion. And when you are unable to distinguish your hallucination from reality--that's when you know you are about to go off the deep end pretty soon. Worse yet is if you black out--cause once you lose total control, you are basically capable of doing anything, without ever even knowing what you did.
I wasn't worried about waking up in the clinic as an axe murderer or anything crazy, considering you are pretty paralyzed on K. However, there was one nightmare I was having that terrified the living fuck out of me, though I am not really sure why. I mean granted, in my dream two people were chasing me the entire time with guns, knives, chainsaws, every sort of weapon imaginable, and they seemed to be around EVERY corner I turned. That would be pretty scary... except the two people chasing me were ERIC CARTMAN and this redhead named Hannah (a girl I know in real life whom I only met a few times and smoked weed with, but she is seriously the funniest girl I've ever met).
I think what made the dream terrifying was when I woke myself up to shake myself out of the dream... only to open my eyes and SEE THEM STILL THERE, ARMED WITH BLADES STANDING AT THE FOOT OF MY BED. They disappeared for a second and then flashed towards the side of the bed like ninjas, each time inching closer and holding a new weapon everytime they reappeared.
My life was at stake--I had to get out fast, or they'd eat my soul. But when I tried to move, my worst fear had happened--I was in sleep paralysis.
At that moment, I knew it was the two demons that I encountered in Japan. During my stay at my grandma's house in Chiba, I ended up getting nightly sleep paralysis, where I would encounter two spirits. It was always two demons, though they often changed identities and rarely ever showed up as the same form twice. One time I woke up to two of them, disguised as dark shadows, electrocuting me in sleep paralysis. I felt the shock, I saw the blue lightning, and the fact that it was always two spirits and it only ever happened at my grandma's place, makes me believe it has to do with the area she is living in.
Somehow, they had gotten ahold of where I was and followed me all the way from Japan. In my head, I was swearing that if I were to get out of this alive, I would never set foot in the spirit realm again (till the next time anyway lol). But running away was not an option--all I could do was jerk my body in hopes of breaking free before they attacked.
When I was just about to give up, my door suddenly swung open, and it was my sister (not a hallucination). Apparently I had been screaming bloody murder at the top of my lungs without knowing it (wtf?). Her entrance snapped me out of sleep paralysis and I was now fully wake... BUT ERIC CARTMAN AND HANNAH WERE STILL THERE--this time with rifles! She asked me what was wrong, and I pointed to them: "DON'T YOU SEE THEM?!?! KILL THEM!!!"
So yeah. You can picture what the next 10 minutes or so was like, cause that's about how long it took before the two figures eventually dissolved into color molecules, and then finally dissipated for good. Once they were gone, it hit me how cracked out of my mind I must have been to have been living k nightmares for that long without realizing it. Then embarrassment soon turned to comedy when I realized that I was afraid of, hahhaa, Eric Cartman wearing deer antlers trying to stab me with a kitchen knife. WTF.
With that, my closing statement: (edit: this was supposed to be a pic, doesnt work on uvb)
Go here and type in "Mistress K" and see what comes up. Good night.
Coming Up Next Chapter: K trip flashbacks using music as a tool, Running into police, Recognizing synchronicity and flowing with it (discovering unfortunate circumstances are often blessings in disguise)
The first few days I attemped IV K I got sucked in the hole too quick, and it ended in a disaster. The reason is because I'd go into one hell of a hardcore K hole and recognize how meaningful my trips were... only to forget what I tripped as soon as I sobered up. The trip was so beautiful, like I just fell out of a dream, that I'd try to return to the tunnel almost immediately, to take me back into the same spot again. When shots were once 20 units, they soon became 95 unit shots within no time. One vial could easily run out in one night, unless I passed out--whichever came first.
The first night, I woke up nearly 12 hours later STILL tripping from the previous night, and puked a good 8 times or so within the hour. I do not recall shooting up this much K, though I was equally surprised to wake up and discover that I still have a physical body. As soon as the nausea subsided, I was up and at'em again, like a real American superhero.
No matter what the dose, the last one just never seemed that intense enough; I always wanted more, more... because in the void, the possibilities were meaningless. Picture your deepest desires, your darkest thoughts fully manifesting themselves into vivid dreams so realistic, everything you ever accepted as truth about this universe crumbles before your very eyes. You learn that your life as an individual is meaningless when put in perspective, and merely a piece of the bigger plan. That everything was working in sync towards something higher, and your lifespan was merely a microdot in this infinite spectrum of a puzzle. But the moment you accept this as truth, this is when it becomes dangerous, for you have just fully surrendered your will to live.
I wanted more of god, I wanted to feel MY SOUL surging through my veins... So that I would never come back to this world again. I carved a masterpiece with a fine tipped spaceship, and the missile was buried in the woods of this neck. I shot a rocket, my precious space comet, straight up in the sky to the next dimension, in hopes of bringing a piece of heaven from the other side. Out with a bang, the fireworks were set; nuclear explosion catapults in sky, falls in eternal tunnel of Pi. TRUTH.
My fantasy was falling into a bottomless pit, and it was both fear and thrill at once; it was CLIMAX. The abyss was so dark and mysterious, when the walls started breaking down, I just knew I was on the verge--hell was about to break loose.
K dreams are so full of truth and meaning, one must never ignore them... not if one is to prevent psychosis anyway. I had many, many dreams warning me about the future long before it happened. Some fairly recurring themes in dreams were falling down endless tunnels, racing on the freeway and eventually floating away into the stars, jumping through windows into garage basements, and shooting up air bubbles until I was paralyzed.
These are definitions of some of the dream symbols as according to this dream dictionary: http://www.soulfuture.com/dream_dictionary/dream_dictionary_main.asp
Fall ~ A need to establish balance and stability, Feeling helpless or out of control
Hole ~ A portal to another realm or an entry point to a new phase of your life, may symbolize the void, the unknown, a gateway to new awakenings and experiences, A peep hole - try to see what’s on the other side of the hole. Seeking refuge, withdrawing or finding a safe place to lie and wait until matters improve. Depression, climbing into a big black hole
Racing ~ Needing to learn to slow down and relax. Human beings collectively, humanitarianism, the human race
Floating ~ Being conscious of your out-of-body state. Failing to take charge of your life, floating around aimlessly
Stars ~ Symbolic of your spiritual connection, Your point of connection to the Universal energy field, A reflection of your inner light, Symbolic of the number 5
Window ~ Looking/going into a window may indicate looking inside, going within, examining self
Garage ~ Hiding from the world, Seeking protection from your environment, Needing to take time out, Not participating in life
Basement ~ Repressed emotional issues, The root or basis of a problem or situation, The subconscious mind
Injection ~ Something that needs to be embodied or incorporated within you - note the substance (in my case it was air, I found it interesting that my body knew it was oxygen deprived and was depicting this in dream form. I have read that ketamine OD occurs with oxygen deprivation, like heroin... so if a user passes out, one can resuscitate them with CPR.)
Paralysis ~ Escapism or avoidance of responsibility, Withdrawing from life
But even if I were to have overdosed and died at this point, I would not have looked back and regretted it--for after seeing a glimpse of the bigger goal the universe was striving towards, I knew that if that was my time, I would gladly surrender my life to work in motion with what the cosmos expected of me.
People have warned me that once you step into the hole, you might never come back out. Well, I'm not sure when it all started getting out of hand for me, but one day my lucid dreams took a sharp turn downhill into living nightmares. I would often catch myself waking up out of trips screaming and attempting to kick off imaginary people. Having just barely gotten "addicted" to IV'ing K for a little over a week, this was the shortest amount of time compared to other addictive drugs, for it to already turn into full-blown psychosis.
Then that psychosis became delusion. And when you are unable to distinguish your hallucination from reality--that's when you know you are about to go off the deep end pretty soon. Worse yet is if you black out--cause once you lose total control, you are basically capable of doing anything, without ever even knowing what you did.
I wasn't worried about waking up in the clinic as an axe murderer or anything crazy, considering you are pretty paralyzed on K. However, there was one nightmare I was having that terrified the living fuck out of me, though I am not really sure why. I mean granted, in my dream two people were chasing me the entire time with guns, knives, chainsaws, every sort of weapon imaginable, and they seemed to be around EVERY corner I turned. That would be pretty scary... except the two people chasing me were ERIC CARTMAN and this redhead named Hannah (a girl I know in real life whom I only met a few times and smoked weed with, but she is seriously the funniest girl I've ever met).
I think what made the dream terrifying was when I woke myself up to shake myself out of the dream... only to open my eyes and SEE THEM STILL THERE, ARMED WITH BLADES STANDING AT THE FOOT OF MY BED. They disappeared for a second and then flashed towards the side of the bed like ninjas, each time inching closer and holding a new weapon everytime they reappeared.
My life was at stake--I had to get out fast, or they'd eat my soul. But when I tried to move, my worst fear had happened--I was in sleep paralysis.
At that moment, I knew it was the two demons that I encountered in Japan. During my stay at my grandma's house in Chiba, I ended up getting nightly sleep paralysis, where I would encounter two spirits. It was always two demons, though they often changed identities and rarely ever showed up as the same form twice. One time I woke up to two of them, disguised as dark shadows, electrocuting me in sleep paralysis. I felt the shock, I saw the blue lightning, and the fact that it was always two spirits and it only ever happened at my grandma's place, makes me believe it has to do with the area she is living in.
Somehow, they had gotten ahold of where I was and followed me all the way from Japan. In my head, I was swearing that if I were to get out of this alive, I would never set foot in the spirit realm again (till the next time anyway lol). But running away was not an option--all I could do was jerk my body in hopes of breaking free before they attacked.
When I was just about to give up, my door suddenly swung open, and it was my sister (not a hallucination). Apparently I had been screaming bloody murder at the top of my lungs without knowing it (wtf?). Her entrance snapped me out of sleep paralysis and I was now fully wake... BUT ERIC CARTMAN AND HANNAH WERE STILL THERE--this time with rifles! She asked me what was wrong, and I pointed to them: "DON'T YOU SEE THEM?!?! KILL THEM!!!"
So yeah. You can picture what the next 10 minutes or so was like, cause that's about how long it took before the two figures eventually dissolved into color molecules, and then finally dissipated for good. Once they were gone, it hit me how cracked out of my mind I must have been to have been living k nightmares for that long without realizing it. Then embarrassment soon turned to comedy when I realized that I was afraid of, hahhaa, Eric Cartman wearing deer antlers trying to stab me with a kitchen knife. WTF.
With that, my closing statement: (edit: this was supposed to be a pic, doesnt work on uvb)
Go here and type in "Mistress K" and see what comes up. Good night.
Coming Up Next Chapter: K trip flashbacks using music as a tool, Running into police, Recognizing synchronicity and flowing with it (discovering unfortunate circumstances are often blessings in disguise)
