Ugh that was a rough one. Last day and half was tough. Methinks I didn't realize how much I was masking the pain/symptoms this whole time. The Lyrica is definitely working though. After rolling around in pain all day, night, and morning like a pyschopath, I began to stretch out automatically and yawn. I get a few bouts of that and out of the blue the pain and muscle tightness is down from a 6 to a 2 (i consider 10 being set on fire lol).
At a 6 or so, I can't walk properly because of muscle tightness, so it's bizarre that it loosened me up almost entirely over 30 minutes. I've noticed this yawn/stretch since my first dose of Lyrica, but not everyday and not as severe of a contrast. I just hope it keeps up.
Thanks Ash. Yea I'm pretty certain about it, so much so that I'm waiting to use the Kratom in my room until I finish the outpatient program at the very least (90days?). I'm exploring all options though, so maybe Lyrica and something else, combined with my lifestyle change will do the trick. And as far as being hard.on myself, this junky boy needs a little toughening up, fast haha.
10 years, I started laughing when you said "keep in mind I'm on 80 mgs of methadone..." At 60 mgs doesn't Methadone start to block the effects from even IV'ng opiates?? Anyway I get what you're saying and appreciate it. I think this is one of those "everybody's different," type of things.
I have a few years of experience and research with Kratom. I used it to get off of Oxy, Sub tapers, prolonged use, and to manage pain in between scripts. I've found it extremely manageable and have only decreased daily dosage from whenever I started, eventually leveling off (within a gram or two) depending on strain, time of day, and how I feel; it's the complete opposite for me with traditional opiates. There's just something about Kratom that makes me doesn't pull on my "more" strings.
For me it's very subtle and there is a specific dose for that pain relief, energy, or anxiolytic effect, any more causes nausea, dysphoria, and the "eye wobbles." So it's basically a built in anti abuse mechanism, for me. And I'm not trying to make my case, just showing how it has worked for me in the past, and how I believe and hope it will work for me in the future. Oh yea, and plain leaf only! Tinctures and all those Kratkom extracts do not have all of the above and act more like vicodin/percocet, addiction wise.
PainfulOne you had me laughing as well. Hmm I wonder where... one of the most beautiful states to drive through (next rest stop 150 miles!!!Texas wasn't even that cruel). As far as people understanding, my theory is: I don't need to be skinned alive to know that it is an absolutely awful experience, putting it lightly. So I don't need empathy or complete understanding to have sympathy for something someone is going through. I don't get the lack of insight people have sometimes, but you're definitely not alone PO, although it seems your engulfed by these types.
My father and sister, who have no idea about what's been going on with me, as well as my mother who does know a decent amount (she's the one who's been taking me to doctors as a teenager) have been arguing with me about everything related to whatever it is that I have from day one. Last night my sister witnessed me during a flare up and had to leave and go to her apartment. She messaged my mother confused and scared I guess. After 15 years she finally saw what she only heard a little bit about.
So I can only imagine how stubborn your family is, since you have visible pathological injuries. It's definitely time for the next step. Just be cautious with narcotics. It seems you're the only one on Bluelight who is too cautious with drugs. Have to get some life back, no?
Catlady, yes absolutely. I just have to be extra cautious since I have crossed the line and the 17 lines after that lol. I'm definitely not falling back into addiction, I'll commit Sepuku before that happens. I know millions have said it before me, well maybe not the Sepuku part haha, but addiction only compounds more symptoms on top of pre.existing conditions. I'm done with all that nonesense.
Thank you all again for the therapy session.
Trip
Jeez Painful. Loperamide is dangerous to use since such high doses are needed to get any relief. I've eaten many a box, and drank many a bottle in gas station parking lots to make it through a few hours. Makes you feel awful and is toxic at those doses. It's an ugly state of affairs I say!
But seriously, when you do go, you may have to be firm or even pushy with your doctor. Because of the opiate epidemic, legitimate scripts are being withheld. Most likely, he won't have an issue given your history, but just be prepared to not back down. Remember it is your life we're talking about.