It's only getting worse..

canucka

Bluelighter
Joined
Oct 1, 2007
Messages
161
Location
CowTown
so im a 'recoving' heroin addict.. as well ive been using meth on and off for aprox. 6 years.. never been off longer than a month..
Things have been getting worse for me.. im in a very dark, very bad place right now.. Ive attempted suicide on 3 seperate occasions before in my life..
this was after the love of my life died in my arms 2 years ago almost, of a heroin OD..
right now though im feeling worse than ever.. ive been getting scripts for dillies and benzo's from about 13 diferent doc's over the past few months and it hasnt been helping..
i feel as though im at the end of my rope.. i have noone to talk to about it.. and all i want is some human fucking interaction..

so ya.. what the fuck should i do?? im in a deep, dark rut that smells like death..

can anyone please say a word or two?? it would help in a big way..
 
Man, i feel for you... I know what it can be like and I struggle with it alot..

Also done the attempts on my life a few times.
I broke my neck - went onto oxys, then heroin. The love of my life left me - we were married, and she left AFTER i got clean but stuck with me while i was using..

Anyway, this isnt about me, im just saying i can relate. I dont know how or why i keep going but i do. I have a feeling in myself that I still have something to offer, something to live for and I hope every day that I find that new love, even better than the first...

You seem like a smart dude, and you know, intelligence can be a burden. Ignorance is bliss and it's true. Sometimes the thoughts we have can take over our lives and affect our souls in a way more ignorant people dont see or cant comprehend.

I say keep going. Youre worth it, and you've gotta have someone who cares. Hell, even here on the internet where you don't even know people face to face - there are individuals willing to take some time to lend some words of comfort.
 
Top