Its like high school again

Haha! Me and John (my roommate from rehab) hung out all day yesterday. We both agree that boredom is a mother fucker early in recovery.

We drove through Valley Forge National Park, hit two meetings and...

...well, we both have girls that are still in the facility. He hadn't heard from his so I said 'fuck it' aqnd we drove up there and parked outside the unit building we used to occupy (the girls live there as well).

We didn't want to go inside or deeper onto the rehab's grounds so we just looked around. We hollered at a couple people we had become friendly with and then a Clinical Assistant (CA) came over to the car.

She told us that we aren't allowed to attend the 12 Step meeting that night because we have to wait 30 days after discharge. We acted like it was a shock and rolled out.

We had a plan with the girls to meet at the meeting that night and were worried that we fucked up our chances.

We headed up later that night anyway and were able to see the girls for about a half hour before the same CA came over and bitched us out.

I was happy to see Shari. I was aggravated that I would probably only be able to see her for a minute before being chased off the grounds. This wasn't the case and John and me had shit eatin' grins on our faces the whole drive home.

Shari called earlier today and we chatted for a bit. She told me that they got bitched out but doesn't think they will get kicked out.

She also mentioned that she thinks she'll be leaving rehab earlier than planned. She said she wants to see me. I told her not to fuck herself and do what she needs to do for her.

She said she wouldn't fuck herself over like that and would like to stay in this area for a little before going home to middle of nowhere Pennsylvania.

I told her she could stay at my place (of course). Its an alternative to her rehab roommate's offer about staying with her.

Either way, I think we're going to have a lot of fun.

We need to get to know each other better, though. We like each other but know little besides our sexual deviances and pleasures.

I feel like I'm 17 again.
 
Ah! Cute!!! :)
I really enjoy reading your blog.....

You gotta keep us updated on Shari!
How do you think you will handle it if SHE relapses w2hen getting out?
Do you worry about relapsing?
 
I hope she doesn't relapse. Right now we are just getting to know each other and it might just be a sexual relationship.

The problem with that is that I get emotionally attached to women and have never really had a purely sexual relationship.

If she relapses, I can't be with her sexually or otherwise.

I don't necessarily 'worry' about relapsing but do get fearful of thinking I can get high recreationally. That seems to be my pattern.

I know that it feels good to have some sort of respect for myself after so long and that I can look people in the eye as opposed to looking at the ground in shame.

Thanks for being so awesome, ocean... ...its nice to be cared about when sometimes I hate myself. I haven't hated myself in a week or so. Thats another bonus!!!
 
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