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It's getting real

ruralgram

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 16, 2015
Messages
80
Location
Alabama
Tomorrow is the big day. Have been taking 30 to 40mg hyrdocodone a day for several weeks. Down from the 150mg a day that i had been taking for two years. I have 15 pills left. My plan is one a day then CT. Am I prolonging the agony. Should I just ct? Now that I'm ready and it's time I'm panicking
 
I look at it this way, we all suffer coming off but if you have access to things you get to adjust the duration, intensity, and time of the suffering but not remove it. So as long as you are lowering your dose your doing better then before and thus are not prolonging anything just spreading it over a longer period.

So if you have 15 pills left I would try to lower the dose a little more, there is no reason not to and even if it's 35mg CT over 40mg it probably makes a difference. But if you feel your ready it's really up to you but I think it may be easier if you think you can use the additional pills to taper further even if it's just a tiny bit
 
Hi Rural,
I posted a response to you over on the Dark Side, under the thread titled:[h=1]I'm so mentally addicted to opiates, what to do? I just took my 1 morphine, instead of two. I know that it will be relatively easy tonight, so am not too worried about getting sleep. Good luck!! I am really hoping by trying to taper with someone else tapering that I will be able to cut back and stay cut back. I am always open to finding a solution.[/h]
 
Tapering is effective if you can do it, though you will have to jump off eventually and you will still have withdrawal but maybe a little less intense. I don't know, I could never taper. I had lost total control and I always said I would taper, then all my pills were gone.

But no matter what, know that you're not alone. And know that we're all in this together. And we'll make it out one day.

Peace and love.

Day 16.

-D
 
It has begun. Took my one allotted pill for the day. Of course I'm find now. Not sure about later. That line above "we're all in this together" is comforting. I definitely don't feel as alone since I found BL.
 
Hi Rural,
I posted a response to you over on the Dark Side, under the thread titled:[h=1]I'm so mentally addicted to opiates, what to do? I just took my 1 morphine, instead of two. I know that it will be relatively easy tonight, so am not too worried about getting sleep. Good luck!! I am really hoping by trying to taper with someone else tapering that I will be able to cut back and stay cut back. I am always open to finding a solution.[/h]

I sent you a friend request
 
Good morning RG...YOU CAN DO THIS!!! I read the stories of folks trying to "quit" their opiates, as I struggle with even "starting" for legit documented and long suffering pain. I don't want to start something I can't stop. But...I've stopped living (just existing in pain).

Either way, I am here to encourage you and others who need to do this, for whatever reason. I hope to glean info about modalities or meds I've not tried before jumping the cliff into full blown dependence.

Is your Bama weather nicer today? It's hot over here, but low humidity. I wish you were sitting on the back deck with me in the dappled shade. I've boiled some peanuts, as we're headed to Fall and football season. This batch is YUM and er, pre-season.

Get out of the house and do some stuff today with you little one. Distraction is GOOD! I'm here if you need me. =D
 
My friend Dix :-) bless yo heart. There was actually a touch of cool in the air when I went to look for meteors about four a.m. That didn't last lol Too hot to get out today. My daughter is picking up a bag of peanuts on her way for me to boil this weekend. I am in the almost Florida part of bama. Peanut and cotton farms surround me. Hence my isolation :-(
 
A kindred spirit indeed. Are you in what we refer to as the "Redneck Riviera"? No offense...term of endearment.
 
Wailing and gnashing of teeth ensues...Fuck me running. I just lost a VERY LONG private message to you. Then...I lost a VERY LONG POST to you on this thread, following the above remark. Everything from the heart emogi after endearment is GONE!

Your PM says you need to clear your inbox. Can you try to do that or open new files to store existing messages you want to keep?

Karma...I guess. I was bitching in my post abut losing the content of my bitching in the message. I was threatening laptopicide. It would be strike 3 in 4 years, so maybe not.
 
Wailing and gnashing of teeth ensues...Fuck me running. I just lost a VERY LONG private message to you. Then...I lost a VERY LONG POST to you on this thread, following the above remark. Everything from the heart emogi after endearment is GONE!

Your PM says you need to clear your inbox. Can you try to do that or open new files to store existing messages you want to keep?

Karma...I guess. I was bitching in my post abut losing the content of my bitching in the message. I was threatening laptopicide. It would be strike 3 in 4 years, so maybe not.

lol I have a Redneck Riviera T-shirt from my youth. I was a Florabama girl long before Kenny Chesney turned Gulf Shored into this crazy tourist trap it had become. I will go clear my inbox. I can only send one every 180 minutes it says?
 
Hi Ruralgram,
Thank you so much for the friend request! It made me very happy. Of course, I accepted it. I hope your day 1 is going well. The only thing I noticed last night that was different as the result of cutting my morphine down to 1 pill instead of 2 is that I woke up once in the middle of the night, with just a little upset stomach. It went right away, and I feel asleep. I did want to go outside and try to see the meteor showers, however, I live right outside of Denver, and so there are a lot of streetlights. I don't even know if I could have seen one. You live in a great part of the country, in my estimation, especially from November until April. I had a son who lived in Jacksonville/Gainesville area and would visit him when he was in college. By the way, I never even tasted a boiled peanut! I am already committed to keeping at one morphine pill again this evening. I am grateful you joined BL! By the way, you may want to try and respond to some posts even a sentence or two so that you get you post number up to 50. That is when you turn into a Bluelighter and there is no need to wait to send PM's and your mailbox expands. :D
 
Hey Poke and RG...Good suggestion on getting those posts past 50. =D Now if someone could just share the magic method to prevent constant "ghost-posts". I type like I talk (too much). I spend a lot of time responding to posts and/or trying to send messages, yet when I hit "send"...POOF! solid gone :!

I don't type with my phone (no way) because I am homicidal just trying to send a text. I've tried copy and paste, but the PM prompt says "message too short"...ME? REALLY? Nothing that comes from my thought process is "too short". It's exhausting to type, type, type...then lose it. Short fused red head (paid for), easy to rile.

Poke...FUNNY about the boiled peanuts. I live just across the fence from Bama. We've always boiled peanuts and thought EVERYONE DID. Several years ago we went over to AR to visit my sis's family. It was Fall, so we sought out pumpkins, apples, and green peanuts (raw, fresh dug). Well, we were dog piled by many Arkansans about "boiling peanuts...gross...who does that?" Well, our final stop at a feed and seed provided invaluable info. The cowboy asked why wouldn't dry peanuts work? Huh? No...We need green (fresh). He said well, do you cook dry beans? Yea. Same difference...soak your dried peanuts overnight and boil as you would the fresh ones.

We've never searched for green fresh peanuts again. We go every Fall and buy 50 lb. net bags of dry peanuts. If they tasted any better boiled, we would hurt ourselves over-eating!

RG...I couldn't get auto-restore to resurrect my message OR my long post to you. I'm just so fucking frustrated. I've got to find a BETTER WAY.

Anyhoo...I truly hope that the 2 of you can help support one another through your tough times. My crap is splattered (NOT CLEAN!) all over my threads and posts. I'm 54, married 35 years, my dog died, and I only feel PAIN in the sunshine and the rain...Hell, that WAS a country song. RIP Keith Whitley. I need FOR BETTER or FOR GET IT...Wish I live in Denver, so I could try weed like flavors at Baskin Robbins. =D
 
Poke Gainesville is where I had all 8 brain surgeries! So I'm even though I'm an Auburn girl Gators come in at a close second. No comment on the Tide. My dads an alumni. They're so obnoxious!
 
Dix I've done great today! Only the one pill this morning. I confess I did take a xanax a while ago to calm me down but I rarely take them so no worries there.
 
Dix I just read the peanuts. Green peanuts are plentiful here. I use creole seasoning and rock salt to boil mine. Also...... getting back to the thread.... I now know why everyone said get immodium. fml
 
SO HAPPY to hear you've done well today. Maybe keeping yourself distracted with your girls will get you through the next couple of days. After gastric bypass in 1987, I had to take Lomotil for almost 3 years. It can stop a train, but it will also derail the 'boose. Take care and Y'all have a good night.
 
I will dix. Just knowing if I wake up at 2am spazzing that I have BL to get on and occupy my mind is a huge comfort. You have a good one too
 
Tapering is effective if you can do it, though you will have to jump off eventually and you will still have withdrawal but maybe a little less intense. I don't know, I could never taper. I had lost total control and I always said I would taper, then all my pills were gone.

But no matter what, know that you're not alone. And know that we're all in this together. And we'll make it out one day.

Peace and love.

Day 16.

-D

I made it through the day by reading about others experiences. It was empowering. I made it! I am far from done but the process has begun
 
Hi Rural and Dixie,
I enjoy reading your posts very much! I learned a lot about boiled peanuts... it is so interesting that the USA has so many sub-cultures...if I get a chance to visit the South, I will definitely buy boiled peanuts if I see them advertised. Rural... you probably know your way around Gainesville better than I do. Sorry that you had to go there for medical reasons instead of vacation, but I am grateful that you survived 8 brain surgeries and that the medical facilities were able to help you.

From my very short time living in Texas, it seemed that in the South, as well as Texas, that football borders on being a religion! Everyone seems so passionate about their chosen team(s). I think that is a fun way to live.... it makes the fall so exciting. Did you get to attend any games in Gainesville? Didn't Tim Tebow come from there, or am I confused?

As for the pill thing, I really need to cut back on the oxy as well as the morphine - today, I did take my prescribed 3 pills of oxy. Tomorrow, I again am setting a goal of only 2 oxy's, and just 1 morphine, which I will be able to do tonight, again, with no trouble.

Congrats, Rural, on a successful first day of tapering!!

Dixie: It is too bad you don't live in Denver... I do not like marijuana's effect on my brain, so haven't smoked in in over 20 years. It is kind of a waste that I live in a state with such liberal laws. The activists are trying to get a law passed where people can smoke pot in bars... it will be interesting to see if it gets passed.
 
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