...It's funny how I don't know what to make of us...

[Raz]

...It's funny how I don't know what to make of us...
I don't know how much love can be in friendship before it's somethinge else.
Actually;
I'm not stupid enough to think that what we have is love.
I've damaged that part of myself beyond easy repair.
The love I have for my friends is healthy and pure but anything else is beyond me at the moment.
I need time beyond the other pains to put myself through more.

I can only fuck men I don't like.
I can only fuck men I don't love.
The blood on my bedding has dried, but it's still there.
It's still there.

I won't look to you to save me. I learned that lesson.
More than once, but not well.
Still though,
...It's funny how I don't know what to make of us...