It's been such a long time...

[mirabii]

It's been such a long long time..
And through it all the world moved on around me,
While I sat in my isolation.
Wanting to feel guilt, and hate, and self loathing.
Working so hard on breaking down my worth,
All from within. I wanted to want to end it all,
Not just the end I had reached.
Belittling myself against my spoken word,
And hating where I'd been, and everything that got me there.
I could barely look a stranger in the eye
Without feeling they knew it all,
And shared the look I only saw in the mirror,
Which heaped hatred and disgust onto my
Fragile divided heart.
Locking out everything with healing power.
Expression, confession, and even human connection.
Pretending to be my own tower of strength,
Working on appearances, closing the shutters
So no one could see the decay within.
Of my sanity, my confidence, my self.
As I tortured myself over every happy thought
Which dared to enter my mind.
The betrayal of such a devastating moment
With a flight of fancy, quickly
Banished to the Spring, present all around my torment
Leaving only a moment frozen in time, to fill
My self enforced soul confinement

 

[iLoveYouWithaKnife]

Locking out everything with healing power.
Expression, confession, and even human connection.
Pretending to be my own tower of strength,
Working on appearances, closing the shutters
So no one could see the decay within.
Of my sanity, my confidence, my self.
As I tortured myself over every happy thought
Which dared to enter my mind.
word.

 

[madmick19]

with yah all the way mezz

 

[plazma]

Respect to a master!
Honestly Mez, there's something about your work that just ensures that whenever you post something, its only a matter of time before I give in and click it, and I'm always surprised at how much better it is than the last one you posted.
I fucking love this one, needless to say, it strikes a lot of chords.
-plaz out-

 

[bisKi]

As I tortured myself over every happy thought Which dared to enter my mind.
That paragraph caught my attention, especially those two lines before I saw iLoveYouWithaKnife had quoted that paragraph too.