its a hard knock life

when i was a kid everything seemed special. the sun was much brighter, and even when it rained.
I enjoyed times like this. Everything was magical. I had nothing to worry about because well everything was pretty much taken care of.
I had a loving family, friends, a home, food, and love.
I had many fun times, getting to see the joys in life. I
know what they mean now when people say that they wish they could stay young forever.
Times like this makes me wish I was gone. All the troubles that I'm going through in my life.

I hate living like this, I know that the world would be so much better without me, how much I wish to be gone, and yet I keep waking up.

I havn't felt this bad my entire life. Theres something inside me thats making me feel this crummy about myself. I want to let go, and forget.

I don't want to die, but at such bad times like this it makes me wish I were never born.

 

Life can be hard. But continuing on, despite all the shit that gets thrown our way, does make us stronger. Hang in there.

 

my gals right mate!

I'm the opposite - I had a shit of a childhood (dad was bipolar 1 and undiagnosed - say no more) and now sumtimes I pine to b a child again...but not scared, happy

but I hold nothing against dad or let myself stay bitter
I get down bout it sumtimes but thats wen self-talk works wonders

u know how ur mind can say 'life sux, I suck...wish I was dead...I'm useless...' etc? (were our own worst enemies rnt we!)
self-talk is wen u tell that voice in ur mind 'I must b here for a reason! yea life aint great - but I'm not a dying child wiv AIDS in Ethiopia who walks 20km a day to get dirty water! I must b gd at sumthing - time to find out wat it is...which cud b an adventure! Yea and do I really wish I was dead? I cant say till I've seeked help for this depression I must hav to wish I was dead....can I?'

Amazing how it can change ur outlook
maybe at first ull think 'I dont really believe this...' but u must know the term 'fake it till ya make it'

following ur posts, D's, u seem to suffer from depression and self-esteem issues
depression is as serious as any utha illness - hav u ever sought out a psychs opinion of how ud do on meds? even a GP can script antidepressants (my advice - avoid SSRIs if u can; try wellbutrin maybe - if ur not seizure-prone)
then maybe find out bout CBT - or even counselling - for the self-esteem

I know this is old but it concerned me so I'm adding my piece
esp as I've felt like u - and I know Sweet P has

Kia kaha (Maori, ie. native tongue of NZ, for 'be strong')