Nurse Bloop
Bluelighter
dsssddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddqegterhqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqetgwe
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SLR Moderators: Senior Staff
it might be over (over the most trivial shit)
- Thread starter Nurse Bloop
- Start date
llama112
Bluelight Crew
- Joined
- Nov 26, 2010
- Messages
- 4,468
Wow, how long have you been dating?
If you two can't work things out by talking, it's probably not going to work out. Throwing temper tantrums, yelling, kicking each other out - that is not healthy - that is very immature.
It sounds like you both having some growing up to do. But separately.
If you two can't work things out by talking, it's probably not going to work out. Throwing temper tantrums, yelling, kicking each other out - that is not healthy - that is very immature.
It sounds like you both having some growing up to do. But separately.
Nurse Bloop
Bluelighter
\i'm 20 and he is 21fydfgzdhFSGdsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
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Nurse Bloop
Bluelighter
well we worked it out. highcgxfzdhfSGDAFdsrgtyuiujyhtgrfedwsQA
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truly. it stings to see or hear of two people sacrificing direction in life to try and stay together. my moms sacrificed a lot to stay with my dad but she was never really happy. now that she's stuck taking care of him as he ages ahead of her, all i see is a life full of potential that was wasted because she bet it all on a man with no ambition and no sense of romance. sometimes i still think back on people whom i loved but parted from and the impression they left in my mind will probably echo for the rest of my life, but i can't deny that i'm happier without them in my life.
sometimes you just gotta cut em loose and deal with the pain then focus on building your own life and eventually someone will come along who can love you and support you instead of just draining your life away in the form of frustration and disappointment. it's obvious from your post here that your feelings of hurt extend a lot deeper than an empty box of nitrous, so coming to an agreement (more like a stalemate) is not going to address or solve the root of the matter.
Nurse Bloop
Bluelighter
it wasn't the niryeretwrtetrytrrtyryrtytryrty
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Nurse Bloop
Bluelighter
heavy sleeper, quiet cracker
Lysis
Bluelighter
Ugh, yes. That's why I had to move my emotions and relationship investment from the last one. I got the only lawyer on the planet who lost all ambition in life, had 0 goals, and had no romance at all. I thought he was just shy and needed time to open up, but nope. He just either didn't really love me and only said it to have a place to live, or he doesn't love or have passion about anything. I refuse to live like that.
OP, my personal opinion is that I will put up with the ins and outs of a relationship until I am miserable and realize that I'm just not happy. When you get pissed off and think about separating or leaving over stupid shit, you are either out of love with that person or you need some time apart. Not time apart as in separation, but time to have your own individuality. You need to be your own person, and do your own thing, have your own friends, have your own goals. It's unhealthy to live life all about the other person without having any focus or goals for yourself.
badandwicked
Bluelighter
How long ago did he lose his foot? Something like that's really traumatic and can take years to come to terms with, its not unusual that it puts too much stress on a relationship. He's adapting to a whole new life so try not to feel too bad or take how he acts too personally. If he gets in rages and lashes out on you maybe he needs to talk to someone, get some therapy. Maybe he's best left to deal with things on his own until he finds acceptances of his situation.
PriestTheyCalledHim
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Oct 7, 2005
- Messages
- 14,714
I agree.
I've never lived with a partner male or female; but it does read as though this guy is taking advantage of you or is one of those people who becomes co-dependant on a partner and doesn't see whoever they're in a relationship with as an equal like you want.
I know it sucks but I'd do whatever it took to move out or get away from this guy even if it means moving back in with your mom, taking all of your stuff, and taking the cat you own and the kitty litter to your mom's place.
You're 20 and you have your whole life ahead of you to get into relationships and find a man who respects you and who is financially independent or who isn't a leech.
Nurse Bloop
Bluelighter
ogfxjgzdhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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Paranoidcrash
Bluelighter
Lololololol I've done a whole 50 box with my girlfriend snoring her ass off next to me, it's easy, you just gotta use a whip cream canister and pop them bitches slowwwwww.
Damn. After reading only the OP my immediate reaction was 'no way should anyone waste their minutes being in a relationship like that. ' Esp after hearing he acted weird/crazy AGAIN (rage incident) I honestly think you two should cut ties
. I have had two relationships in my life (not counting those of my youth-adult life only) and one was of 6 yrs (we're now best friends and roommates-odd, eh? But it works!) the other:dated 4 yrs on and off in High School and beginning of University, broke up, ten years later we dated again for 1 year. The latter and I are on decent terms. In no way are we feuding or at a level of strong dislike but we also don't ever talk, occasionally we'll hang out or go someplace (overnight... ) together, etc. Basidally, you can't have all relationships end on great terms. It's especially difficult if one partner is immature. You could 'break it off' as calmy as one could,.w/ perfect wording and intonation and be verbally spewed upon with emotional manipulation (sounds like this probably happens already-you sound like such a nice perssn who shouod be anything but talked down on).
Seems I said a lot... and I am not even sure it was a decent response/helpful in any way. Regardless, let us know how things progress (or digress) and most importantly how you're holding up.
. I have had two relationships in my life (not counting those of my youth-adult life only) and one was of 6 yrs (we're now best friends and roommates-odd, eh? But it works!) the other:dated 4 yrs on and off in High School and beginning of University, broke up, ten years later we dated again for 1 year. The latter and I are on decent terms. In no way are we feuding or at a level of strong dislike but we also don't ever talk, occasionally we'll hang out or go someplace (overnight... ) together, etc. Basidally, you can't have all relationships end on great terms. It's especially difficult if one partner is immature. You could 'break it off' as calmy as one could,.w/ perfect wording and intonation and be verbally spewed upon with emotional manipulation (sounds like this probably happens already-you sound like such a nice perssn who shouod be anything but talked down on).
Seems I said a lot... and I am not even sure it was a decent response/helpful in any way. Regardless, let us know how things progress (or digress) and most importantly how you're holding up.
Nurse Bloop
Bluelighter
we still together. i luv em, so we're not done.
hyroller
Bluelighter
going through a similar situation right now myself 
my now-former SO never wanted to resolve issues with me as they arose, would always make a scene and storm off - in the most unreasonable, child-like fashion. he also spent a good 7 months living off me, not working (unless I hooked up work for him that I was doing, in addition to my full time work), cost me well over $12000 all up - about half of which was spent on unrecoverable wedding costs. yes, the idiot proposed, a mere 4 months into the relationship, just so he could drain me of every last penny I had. am now in debt up to my eyeballs, have taken a nosedive (huge step backwards in terms of where I want to go, thanks to him sabotaging my employment opportunities), and have to face the embarrassment of confessing to my family about yet another poor life choice...or series of them... ![:\](https://bluelight.org/xf/BL_Images/Orig_Emoji/wrygrin.gif "wry grin :\")
and to top matters off, he was so controlling, manipulative & obsessive, he monitored every single email/BL post/facebook message/you name it that I made in the last few months, isolated me from my friends, and guilt tripped me into feeding his drug habit. he was, and is, the human embodiment of hapless hopelessness.
and now I'm here to pick up the pieces
I should have got rid of the dead weight long ago. except I was convinced we were 'meant to be'. he used to be a great guy, before he threw away everything he had going for him in favour of a life of insecurity. it's really shattering & really sad... not to mention, difficult to accept how much a person could willingly change so much for the worse
my now-former SO never wanted to resolve issues with me as they arose, would always make a scene and storm off - in the most unreasonable, child-like fashion. he also spent a good 7 months living off me, not working (unless I hooked up work for him that I was doing, in addition to my full time work), cost me well over $12000 all up - about half of which was spent on unrecoverable wedding costs. yes, the idiot proposed, a mere 4 months into the relationship, just so he could drain me of every last penny I had. am now in debt up to my eyeballs, have taken a nosedive (huge step backwards in terms of where I want to go, thanks to him sabotaging my employment opportunities), and have to face the embarrassment of confessing to my family about yet another poor life choice...or series of them... and to top matters off, he was so controlling, manipulative & obsessive, he monitored every single email/BL post/facebook message/you name it that I made in the last few months, isolated me from my friends, and guilt tripped me into feeding his drug habit. he was, and is, the human embodiment of hapless hopelessness.
and now I'm here to pick up the pieces
I should have got rid of the dead weight long ago. except I was convinced we were 'meant to be'. he used to be a great guy, before he threw away everything he had going for him in favour of a life of insecurity. it's really shattering & really sad... not to mention, difficult to accept how much a person could willingly change so much for the worse
augustaB
Bluelighter
Parasites are so difficult to get rid of Bloop.
I bet he can be sweet when he wants to be (and he wants something from you)
I often think that in a relationship there is always somebody who cares more, and perhaps in your relationship with him it's you.
Perhaps you should reflect on where the relationship is going and where you might be in 5, 10, 15 years time.
Will you be able to retire on what you've saved? Is he going to contribute to building your lives together.
I think if you make these sums and you come to the conclusion that together you are not building a better future for both of yourselves your only choice must be to dump him.
I bet he can be sweet when he wants to be (and he wants something from you)
I often think that in a relationship there is always somebody who cares more, and perhaps in your relationship with him it's you.
Perhaps you should reflect on where the relationship is going and where you might be in 5, 10, 15 years time.
Will you be able to retire on what you've saved? Is he going to contribute to building your lives together.
I think if you make these sums and you come to the conclusion that together you are not building a better future for both of yourselves your only choice must be to dump him.
Lysis
Bluelighter
going through a similar situation right now myself
and to top matters off, he was so controlling, manipulative & obsessive, he monitored every single email/BL post/facebook message/you name it that I made in the last few months, isolated me from my friends, and guilt tripped me into feeding his drug habit. he was, and is, the human embodiment of hapless hopelessness.
and now I'm here to pick up the pieces
I should have got rid of the dead weight long ago. except I was convinced we were 'meant to be'. he used to be a great guy, before he threw away everything he had going for him in favour of a life of insecurity. it's really shattering & really sad... not to mention, difficult to accept how much a person could willingly change so much for the worse
Sorry you are going through this. I remember you talking about this guy a little. Been down the road with mooches before (as I have vented here plenty of times), and I have been in that situation looking back and wondering why I put up with it for so long. Still have one clinging on, and his only saving grace is that he watches my dog while I'm at work. I refuse to loan him any more money while he continues to scrape by (he did pay me rent for the first time this month), and I think I'll just have to consider the money he said he'd pay back a loss.
Mooches are some of the most difficult, because they claim they are going through a hard time, and most of us have been there and pulled ourselves out of it, so we want to see the person for who he is and think that they will be someone someday. However, at some point, you have to give up and realize the guy has 0 motivation.
Again, sorry it didn't work out, and I totally feel you on where you're at right now. Mine wasn't controlling or manipulative, but that's because he has no passion for anything and I think as long as he can do just enough to keep me from blowing up and finally telling him to GTFO, that's what he will do.
Thinking back, I'm pretty sure this is what happened to his last girlfriend, and stupid me fell for the "everything was going great and then she cheated on me" line. I really feel his ex girlfriend got sick of the same thing and found someone else after kicking him out and making him live with his mom.