Well, Tuesday I went to the doctor after a SIX NIGHT meth binge, prescribed valium for the withdrawals, advised me on the proper ways to deal with them, made an appointment in one week to check my kidneys/mental state, possibly prescribing an anti-depressant.
Needless to say, Tuesday afternoon/night I crashed. Hard. What goes up must come down, and this was absolutely awful. Slept for 20 hours,woke up in a rigid position, bit scared! Feeling nauseous, stabbing migraine, not the greatest fun.
Spent the rest of Wednesday crying, panicking about whether I was going to die (I knew I wasn't, but I have GAD and I freaked out)
BUT I managed to get through my first meth free day in SIX YEARS. I was pretty fucking proud, although I was craving it worse than anything and fucking wanted to call up my dealer so badly, but I didn't. I sat and watched 'Sex & The City' with their drug free happy lives (except when she gets left at the altar, ouchie
)
Friend came over last night, bought me chocolates which I devoured on the spot, and sat with me 'til I fell asleep.
Valium has been a lifesaver with the muscle cramps/getting to sleep,very glad I didn't do this by myself.
I have smoked about 70 cigarettes, but hey I'll kick that later hahaha.
Today I am feeling crappy still .. but its my 3rd meth free day and I'm pretty fucking happy about that, even though I am feeling lower than low that makes me feel a bit better.
But, it has constantly been on my mind. Everything reminds me of it.. I just keep picturing the swirling smoke in the pipe and it's driving me crazy. I think of something totally unrelated and my mind goes back to it automatically, argh!
Thats the biggest hurdle. Trying to stop dreaming about it! It feels like you have broken up with someone you live with..yet you still live with them for awhile.. then one day they pack up and go and you realise you weren't as ready as you thought you were, and want them back
Anyway my lovelies I shall update tomorrow, see if the withdrawals go away! I've been loading myself up with valium and nurofen plus.. considering buying a few grams of weed for the next few days.
And I will continue to eat mango gelati, I have been scoffing myself on it.. yum yum
Staying AWAY from the scales at all costs, I'll think about nutrition later .. 'cos it'll just anger me and I don't need that putting me off
Thank-you guys so much for the support, it's very helpful.
Claire.
Needless to say, Tuesday afternoon/night I crashed. Hard. What goes up must come down, and this was absolutely awful. Slept for 20 hours,woke up in a rigid position, bit scared! Feeling nauseous, stabbing migraine, not the greatest fun.
Spent the rest of Wednesday crying, panicking about whether I was going to die (I knew I wasn't, but I have GAD and I freaked out)
BUT I managed to get through my first meth free day in SIX YEARS. I was pretty fucking proud, although I was craving it worse than anything and fucking wanted to call up my dealer so badly, but I didn't. I sat and watched 'Sex & The City' with their drug free happy lives (except when she gets left at the altar, ouchie
)Friend came over last night, bought me chocolates which I devoured on the spot, and sat with me 'til I fell asleep.
Valium has been a lifesaver with the muscle cramps/getting to sleep,very glad I didn't do this by myself.
I have smoked about 70 cigarettes, but hey I'll kick that later hahaha.
Today I am feeling crappy still .. but its my 3rd meth free day and I'm pretty fucking happy about that, even though I am feeling lower than low that makes me feel a bit better.
But, it has constantly been on my mind. Everything reminds me of it.. I just keep picturing the swirling smoke in the pipe and it's driving me crazy. I think of something totally unrelated and my mind goes back to it automatically, argh!
Thats the biggest hurdle. Trying to stop dreaming about it! It feels like you have broken up with someone you live with..yet you still live with them for awhile.. then one day they pack up and go and you realise you weren't as ready as you thought you were, and want them back
Anyway my lovelies I shall update tomorrow, see if the withdrawals go away! I've been loading myself up with valium and nurofen plus.. considering buying a few grams of weed for the next few days.
And I will continue to eat mango gelati, I have been scoffing myself on it.. yum yum
Staying AWAY from the scales at all costs, I'll think about nutrition later .. 'cos it'll just anger me and I don't need that putting me offThank-you guys so much for the support, it's very helpful.
Claire.
