why do I isolate when I'm sad? I know being around friends that care is much better for me, but day after day I stay locked up in my room. The phone is a million pounds even when ringing. I perform at work but my smile is a lie. I have a magnetic personality and people like me nearly instantly...but I can't stand me. I have changed so much. I quit the drug that numbed me to a place that I was okay with my reality...now I just go through the motions of life. Would these souls that meet me like me if they knew I was just a shell? Would they care if they knew there was only barren desolation where my soul should be.
I awake each day knowing that no change I can affect will ever turn back the hands of time. I will never get a chance to challenge my abusers with the knowledge I have now that it is wrong. I can never go back and challenge my younger self to stand up and demand what he needs to grow and prosper.
The biggest change I need to make is accept love in my heart. I need to trust another soul with my heart to hold. I want someone to share my passion, be my inspiration, and walk with me on the path I cut with my hand in the earth. Can this poor lost boy in a mans body ever trust another, or am I doomed to hiding away from the world forever. My name says it all...the hurt little boy dwells in side...he was forced to grow into this man way to quick.
I have hope though. Without hope all is lost. Life has no meaning. I bide my time listlessly ticking away the moments in my mind....quietly plotting...quietly dreaming
I awake each day knowing that no change I can affect will ever turn back the hands of time. I will never get a chance to challenge my abusers with the knowledge I have now that it is wrong. I can never go back and challenge my younger self to stand up and demand what he needs to grow and prosper.
The biggest change I need to make is accept love in my heart. I need to trust another soul with my heart to hold. I want someone to share my passion, be my inspiration, and walk with me on the path I cut with my hand in the earth. Can this poor lost boy in a mans body ever trust another, or am I doomed to hiding away from the world forever. My name says it all...the hurt little boy dwells in side...he was forced to grow into this man way to quick.
I have hope though. Without hope all is lost. Life has no meaning. I bide my time listlessly ticking away the moments in my mind....quietly plotting...quietly dreaming