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Is your ex's sister " off limits "

H

Heisenburg

Greenlighter
Joined
May 2, 2012
Messages
37
Location
Straya
So , two years after a longterm relationship turned to shit I find myself interested in her sister.

We had always got on really well and remained friends after the divorce.

I know it would cause problems between them but I am very attracted to her and I think it's mutual.

Truth be told I often wished I was with her over her sister when I was with her although never acted on it.

My dilemma is this would destroy their relationship should I pull it off.

Pretty sure I love her and she is into me. We haven't acted on it as yet due to the weirdness of the situation.

Thoughts and comments ?
 
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The sister should tell you "Hell no." There is no way I'd take my sister's sloppy seconds. Hellll no. How do you love her sister when you don't know her yet? Are you sure this isn't an act of revenge?
 
Very sure it's not revenge.

And we do know each other inside out.

We have been pretty tight for over ten years.

The issue isn't sloppy seconds or revenge.

It's about how it will effect her and her relationship wit her family.
 
I know it sounds like a bad idea and there are plenty of fish in the sea.

Trouble is I want that fish.

Never clicked so well with anyone. Her sister included.

It's a bad idea I know but I know we would be good together.

Sucks to be me.
 
Not one of my females ex's have a sister. Plus my pool of future hopefuls is larger than that.

I would probably not bother, unless I thought peoples was mature enough to let me and the sis be happy.

Sadly that is so often not the case. I would skip it and set my site on a better prize. You know, like in the interest of better future social interactions.

Read into that what you will.
 
Your probably right noodle , I can't ever see her family ever being cool with it.

Christmas lunch would be tense to say the least.

Its these reasons that have held me back this long.

We have spoken about being together and she says she doesn't care what her family thinks.

I kinda do care but at the same time she floats my boat in so many ways.

Fucking torn.
 
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There is so much alternate plumming to be worked. Right? It isn't even worth the effort, unless you think you and she can break off from the familys to live separated from those support networks in a state of Californification.
 
That's how it would have to be if we did get together her family would pretty much disown her.

I don't want that but nor do I want to spend my life comparing other prospects to her because nobody has come close thus far.

She's a hotter younger more honest version of her sister

I know I'll go to bed deciding not to pursue it and the next time I see her I'll start the inner debate all over again.


Thanks for your thoughts guys.
 
So not worth it, for her. People get caught up and infatuated in other people all the time, and often they make stupid decisions due to impaired judgement. Do you think that ten years down the line , she won't look back and wish she had her family around?
 
It is a big ask. To forsake her family for me.

Even my family would find it bizaar.

Maybe we just keep it a secret "affair" to get it out of our system.
Although that is playing with fire while running with scissors too.

The few friends I've told all thinks it's a really bad idea.
 
You were MARRIED to her sister? That is a lot different than just DATING her sister.

Still though, I would probably advise not to.
If I were the sister, I would not be into this, unless I wanted to get revenge on my sis for some reason.
Was it a mutual thing to get a divorce or was one of you more "into" it than the other?
 
It was infidelity on her part that caused the divorce.

Apart from that we were a good couple. Once the trust was gone I wanted out.
 
Oh dear. I missed the marriage part. That makes it even worse.

ETA: Do you have kids with her? I can't even imagine how awkward THAT would be. lol "My aunt is my stepmom."
 
OK. Just checking. lol That's a little better, but still...no bueno with the sister. Are you SURE she's into you like that? Man, I can't even imagine doing that to my sister. My sister's hubby is cool, handsome, gentlemanly, and tons of good things, but hooking up with him would feel like hooking up with a brother. Yuck. It disturbs me even thinking about it. lol
 
Yeah I'm sure she's into me. We have come close to getting "it" on a few times but never followed through.

She practically threw herself at me when I first left her sister.

I knocked her back but now almost two years later we have been talking daily and meet for lunch on weekends.

She even suggested half jokingly moving in with me when she was moving house.

I've known her for nearly twenty years and we are like family in a way.
 
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You're gonna do what you want, regardless.

But man this gonna cause a lifetime of drama and ugliness. Can you handle that?
 
It seems like you're pretty sure what you're going to do anyway. The obvious is that it's a pretty messed up situation and it's going to cause tons of trouble. But you already know that. It's up to you whether you want to get into that situation.

Still, I could never imagine doing that to my sister. My sister is my family. She's not married or anything now but I know that, if she was, I would never ever go after her ex husband. Even an ex boyfriend would just be wrong.
 
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