Misc Is Withdrawal Making Me Suicidal or Am I Depressed?

[ChemicallyEnhanced]

I take/abuse multiple prescription drugs, but primarily I'm addicted to Codeine, Morphine and Gabapentin.
I'm all good and my mood is okay when I've taken a reasonable amount and pretty happy when high...but just recently, when I don't have much, I don't just feel the usual depressed/anxiousness that happens, I become literally suicidal. Like making actual plans to end my life. And I also don't mean when shaking/puking/shitting/sweating/unable-to-function withdrawal, I literally mean as soon as I'm not longer high, or in very early, very mild withdrawal.

Is that normal for even very early and slight withdrawal? Is it it too extreme for that, and more likely that I'm suicidally depressed and that the high from the drugs temporarily masks that?

 

[Mobin]

I've felt that way with mild withdrawals I think it's normal. Bad withdrawals are usually too intense to even feel suicidal if that makes sense.

 

[Halif2]

You may have some underlying depression but it's pretty common for some people to feel despair when opiates wear off, especially if you've been using them daily for a while. How long have you been daily using?

How did you feel prior to using? Did you ever have periods of low mood? If you are prone to depressed moods (even mild ones), opiates can make it much, much worse. Please take care. Try to avoid having to suddenly decrease your use, or if it's going to happen, try to have someone you trust around.

 

[TheUltimateFixx]

It's absolutely not unheard-of.

 

[Jnowhere]

If you are more careful with your meds; you can give more window washers, more " interesting" stories to share. Hope you feel better.

 

[bluemooder89]

A lot of ppl that use opiates/drugs have underlying psych issues. Myself included. My advice is to see a psych doc, they might put you on something that can help. Be honest regarding the gabapentin usage. You might be able to get a script. My friend did this, she told the doc she tried gabapentin and it helped her. I wouldn't recommend this if you can't handle taking it as prescribed.

 

[yubacity]

Wds make u depressed and suicidal especially if the reason you take them is to cope with trauma it all comes back

 

[Pickledlemons]

My fent withdrawal was so bad one time I asked my friend to hit me in the head with a hammer. I wasn't necessarily looking to kill myself but I was hoping it would at least knock me out I was that desperate to not be conscious. Good thing she didn't listen to me.

 

[paranoid android]

Im normally not someone who gets depression but back when i was addicted to opiates i would often get depressed during wd's. That is pretty common so id say its wd's

 

[Virgogirl619]

Oxy makes me extremely suicidal. I had to go off of it. Morphine also makes me a little bit suicidal, but nothing like oxy. You may have some underlining depression, but I would guess that it is the opioids

 

[soulwentmia]

I take/abuse multiple prescription drugs, but primarily I'm addicted to Codeine, Morphine and Gabapentin.
I'm all good and my mood is okay when I've taken a reasonable amount and pretty happy when high...but just recently, when I don't have much, I don't just feel the usual depressed/anxiousness that happens, I become literally suicidal. Like making actual plans to end my life. And I also don't mean when shaking/puking/shitting/sweating/unable-to-function withdrawal, I literally mean as soon as I'm not longer high, or in very early, very mild withdrawal.

Is that normal for even very early and slight withdrawal? Is it it too extreme for that, and more likely that I'm suicidally depressed and that the high from the drugs temporarily masks that?

coming here to chime in. addiction to these drugs will make you lay in a deep dark hole.

gabapentinoids especially, drag you in a mental space you don't see a way out of unless you quit and a week somehow passes. especially gabapentin, it's so insidious and lurks in the shadows. i had deep problems with all gabapentinoids but i quickly learned to respect all of them besides gaba. and knew what to expect. always treated gabapentin less than the others believing that addiction to it is not that strong etc. i was to find out this past half year that once it digs in you, good luck getting out. im again on day 5 without it and starting to see light.

also addicted to codeine so our stories are similar. my advice would be taper gaba as much as possible and then get off it. treat yourself with a week or two of high ish codeine doses to aid in not killing yourself. then ct it. accept that you won't be yourself and will go thru hell for at least a week, followed by a month of mental problems at least.

but things get better and so do you, a month sounds like a lot but at least give it a shot. and i wouldn't add any drugs to the mix. don't be me and attempt stim binges to quit opiates because you'll be reminded on the comedown why you are addicted to opioids to begin with. it will feel like you owe it to yourself to take some and not go thru this.

keep us updated, how have you been?