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Is this normal or totally crazy?!!

siegrigio

Greenlighter
Joined
Sep 12, 2016
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So for the last couple years I've experimented with lots of different uppers and i really love em all. Mainly tho, adderall and vyvanse. I started taking them regularly. I began pushing myself little by little to stay up really long (70+ hours sometimes). Eventually I stopped taking them on a daily basis because I knew it was taking a toll on me. But ever since I did those little benders for fun and to see what my body could handle, I noticed something weird. I freaking love the feeling of forcing myself to stay awake, and everything that comes with it. For a really long time after whatever I've taken has definitely worn off, I push myself to stay awake. Its almost like a second high for me, different than the first, that I'm in control of. Ive gotten to the point of hallucination and hearing crazy things many times, but it doesn't scare me. Not sure what I'm asking here, but I hope SOMEONE can relate!!
 
Sorry, but this isn't suited for Other Drugs, I'll move it to Drug Culture, but I'm not sure if it's appropriate there
 
One time I stayed up all night then was up late working on an assignment. I had to watch this film and at the end there was this weird jittery bit. I watched it again to make sure I didn't see it wrong but it totally messed with my head. I started thinking there was someone outside my window and got terrified someone was coming for me. I locked my door and went straight to sleep. Sleep deprivation definitely has an effect but as someone with anxiety etc. it's definitely not for me.
 
Staying up for days at a time can have a major effect on dopamine. The euphoria that uppers induce is caused by an unnatural increase in dopamine (one of the happy neurochemicals). Unfortunately the combination of staying up for days at a time and stimulant use can cause auditory and visual hallucinations (I say unfortunately because that would freak me out). If you're enjoying it, I can't say I would tell you to stop. Though in the interest of HR I would say to be very careful because while you state, you're "in control", you cannot actually control when, if or how much dopamine gets released and stimulant psychosis is a very real and potentially lifelong consequence of stimulant use.
 
One other thing, even if stimulant psychosis is one of the more severe consequences of stimulant use, short term/less permanent consequences are not to be brushed aside. Your brain likes to be balanced. Too much of anything causes it to get rid of all the excess. The euphoria that getting high brings does not come without cost. For the recreational user, as I used to be, I saw no consequences of my usage. Like you, I pushed myself and now, though I am much more balanced in my usage and I've cut way back, if I even attempt to go overboard, I get a soul crushing depression that makes me... act very irrationally (not wanting to trigger :D)

Good luck!
 
I stayed up for 7 days one day on A-PVP and I was completely psychotic, ran out and dropped some acid to aid the comedown, very interesting tripping while psychotic, killed the comedown as well.
 
You should look into some sleep deprivation study.. Your not getting high from it buddy, your going into psychosis. I've enjoyed my fair share of LSD, DMT, and shrooms and have had amazing hallucinations. That's all fine and dandy, but I have binged myself into psychosis as well.. It's just overwhelming paranoia and pure terror. I've seen the shadow people come out too talk. I've seen the stars at night stalk me and fall too the ground. I genuinely went bat shit crazy. Please don't go down that road man, not everyone comes back.
 
don't go down that road man, not everyone comes back.

^ once you've come down you should just go to bed, if you're gonna stay high it's not exactly different but pushing the limit on sleep deprivation just for the hec of it is anything but wise..
 
I actually enjoy the feeling too. After being awake for a good long while, and the drug has completely worn off I can really enjoy the 'empty' feeling I get, my brain feels like it's on 'hold' at those times and I don't really think about anything, let alone worry about something. It's enjoyable to me, so I too try to stay awake as long as possible when I am in this state.

What I like even more in these situations is dosing a (or multiple) downer(s), preferably an opioid and a benzo, ideally with some weed thrown in, and then fighting the urge to fall asleep. It's like my head is completely empty from the sleep deprivation and the stimulant being fully out of my system (in my case usually racemic amphetamines), and then taking those downers & some weed is highly euphoric to me. I have zero worries to begin with, and then dosing an opiate with a benzo and smoking some herb is simply divine! It's also an amazing contrast; going from feeling pretty crappy from the stimulant binge to feeling like you're on cloud 9. The enormous contrast when transitioning from crashing from a stimulant to being high on opiates, benzos and stoned is a superb high in itself.
 
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