subopm420 said:
i once made a girl cum while on the phone with her boy, i know about this shit, but ive also been shot down by girls who really did love their guys and had absolutely no desire what so ever to stray.
And I've been both of those types of women at various stages in my life. I am a good person with ultimately good motives, who's fucked up now and again.
I believe my karma for that came in the form of men who in turn cheated on and lied to me in return. Probably moreover, the punishment was the dissillusionment of my fantasies, and grief for the loss of the person I thought I was.
I've been fucked around hardcore in relationships; sometimes rationalisation helps (it's not me, it's him) but other times I just wanted to curl up and die from shame, from being so completely needy and gullible. From the least horrible.....being dumped for no reason. to having my 5-year boyfriend surrupticiously sneak out in the night while I was asleep, pinch my credit card to take cash advances for himself.. to the tune of $3000. Thank god for ATM surveillence cameras; I didn't believe it until I saw with my own eyes.
And the biggest one of all, being cheated on with 'another girlfriend' (who didn't know about me either), for 3 years of a 4 year relationship. I still have no trouble at all trusting men.
SUMMARY: I do know bitterness. But I also know it doesn't serve you at all.
The anger I really felt over those situations was anger towards myself, because we all create the situations we find ourselves in. Bitterness and cynicism about life and relationships will never bring a sense of villification and completeness because it's totally an empty victory. You're no happier just because you've manouvered yourself into the position of being 'right."
I never lost faith in men despite all the gutwrenching experiences I've had in my 32 years.
I choose to still be surprised and still be open to the best in people; I can happily (still) entrust my secrets or my heart to just about anyone I think is worthy. For me it's like, what's the worst that can happen? It's already happened... bring it on! And best case scenario you've made a friend for life, or attracted a similar trust back towards you. Either way you've attempted to let a new experience in despite what you reckon is true about people.
no I'm not fucking Pollyanna by any means but an attitude such as that article really shits me. Bitter, angry young men, I know they're everywhere but I completely don't understand why. A girl rejected you? Boo fucking hoo! That happens to EVERYONE. Women can also get rejected, beaten, abused mentally and physically, and although I know there are some hardcore 'man haters' out there, I've never actually seen them on SLR. And if SLR is a representative of male/female attitudes about relationships, males are overly represented in the 'you hurt me, now I will lash out at anyone who even vaguely reminds me of you' stakes.
Women hating: Quite a convenient way to avoid taking responsibility for your role in relationships, a common interest that allows you to connect with other socially stunted morons who'll pat you on the back and perpetuate that nothing's your fault, and maybe the perfect brick wall - with sarcasm and irony as grouting - that ensures you never, ever again have to be vulnerable.
If I come through the shit I've just mentioned and still retain my innate love and respect for males I don't see how it's so hard for guys to do the same.
Because after all you know deep down it's not "all" women who fuck guys around, any more than it's all "men" who are cheating bastards and not to be trusted. But both are clearly an easy target when your dignity has taken a blow.