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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | paranoid android

Is there hope for me?

sonicwhite

sonicwhite

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 8, 2012
Messages
2,433
Location
Oklahoma
Okay last time a smoked ICE was in Feb of 08. Last time I did meth compulsively was in May of 06.......So it's 2014....I'm on the internet reading about the long term effects of meth.....Many of you may not know my story so I suggest you go to the best of bluelight and read my story under meth psychosis experiences....Anyway.....I know googling isn't good if it gets you worrying.....I mean I have come a long way and honestly I don't know how I made it this far......I was wondering if there are any of you out there who dealt with prolonged psychotic symptoms after abstaining from meth.....I mean they could be a shadow here or there but nothing like the psychosis where I lost touch with reality....Also does pot bring out some psychosis and by this I mean confusion, racing thoughts, anxiety?. I mainly smoked meth which is like the worst way to do it and I did it compulsively from 18 to a month after I turned 21....So I know no one here can give me a def answer and also I deal with anxiety mainly due to OCD that I have always had plus rebound anxiety if I skip a dose of klonopin. I heard that stress can draw out some of the psychosis so in 08 when i had my first pure o theme I was so stressed that I was buying xanax off the streets cause my pdocs at the time didn't want me on anything that would be addictive.....I am on several meds which my current doctor thinks I have like schizoaffective disorder or bipolar but, I'm leaning more towards I just got prescribed a whole bunch of crap that I agreed to take and now I'm in this hole of if I wanted to stop I would have rebound withdrawals which would draw out the psychosis because of the stress. I hope I'm making sense.....Do you see me as one they may do well in the future.....?
 
I never tried meth.... in high school I poped amphetamines like they were going out of style. I got psychosis from not sleeping and for a long time after that, shit still to this day, I get negative weed symptoms. I can only smoke by myself or with my girl, never around people I dont know. But shit, eight years after.....
 
Please Mods. I know that no one has been in my shoes and that all I'm coming here for is a little assurance that I have made it this far and people have come out of there psychosis.....Please don't close the thread since I do feel it will help me better understand meth psychosis.
 
A heartfelt congratulations on your abstinence from methamphetamine, sonicwhite - I took your suggestion and do indeed remember your story, having read it here before. Powerful.

With respect to this issue, I believe you're definitely spot-on in seeking advice. Protracted meth/amphetamine withdrawal is such a juggernaught because it rarely manifests anything physically appreciable, as I'm sure you know, but has more to do with restoring normalcy to cognitive functioning. I have spent appreciable amounts of my life addicted to many different substances, off-and-on, only recently finding solace once more myself.

I'd love to help a little more, but to answer the end of this excerpt:

sonicwhite said:
So I know no one here can give me a def answer and also I deal with anxiety mainly due to OCD that I have always had plus rebound anxiety if I skip a dose of klonopin. I heard that stress can draw out some of the psychosis so in 08 when i had my first pure o theme I was so stressed that I was buying xanax off the streets cause my pdocs at the time didn't want me on anything that would be addictive.....I am on several meds which my current doctor thinks I have like schizoaffective disorder or bipolar but, I'm leaning more towards I just got prescribed a whole bunch of crap that I agreed to take and now I'm in this hole of if I wanted to stop I would have rebound withdrawals which would draw out the psychosis because of the stress. I hope I'm making sense.....
Click to expand...

It's just a little difficult to string together all of those ideas enough so that I feel I can render an appropriate response. Would you be willing to re-write the content of this quoted portion, creating more sentences so that each idea you present can stand on its own and be understood a little more clearly?

One thing I can offer up right now is that, it has been my experience that cannabis use exacerbates much of the lingering deficiencies in memory, wakefulness and motivation. I would enthusiastically suggest nixing pot out of the equation for a good while and judge from there how you feel. That is one place to begin.

Be well!

~ Vaya
 
sonicwhite said:
Please Mods. I know that no one has been in my shoes and that all I'm coming here for is a little assurance that I have made it this far and people have come out of there psychosis.....Please don't close the thread since I do feel it will help me better understand meth psychosis.
Click to expand...

? I didn't even see this until after I posted.
What makes you think we have the intention of closing this thread?

Please feel free to send me a private message regarding this question if you would prefer to do that.

Thanks!

~ Vaya
 
Well I have had other threads closed because I was asking a question that nobody could answer so I just thought well nobody has walked in my shoes so maybe it will get closed due to that. Vaya I'm very thankful for your warm advice. I'm heading off to bed but, I'll update this tomorrow....rest well guys.
 
Well I added what I thought was making me worse......Like they said when i first got dx was Amp Induced Psychosis......Trying to come off my medication stresses me to the point I feel like I'm going thru that meth induced psychosis again but I'm there.....Like I haven't lost my marbles completely......So I guess it's just wise to avoid being stressed out. Problem with that we all get stressed out and there is no way around it......When I mean do any of you still deal with the occasional delusion like my big one was I thought i was dead and the torment I was going thru was hell.....When I came out of my psychosis I came back but I was never the same......Now if I get stressed out that delusion of me being dead comes back and if I have no klonopin it can make me anxious on top of the rebound anxiety I have......It's just a cluster of things I'm trying to resolve in my head.

Let me better explain. Okay when I was going thru the psychosis first I thought the CIA and FBI where after me.....the theme changed to cannibals and angels.......I thought what I was feeling and seeing was the end times.....I thought people where getting the mark of the beast and if they did not they where tormented and killed.....I no longer believe in the CIA thing or do I ever fear cannibals are after me but the end time thing has stuck with me....it may be because of my faith but it's a powerful paranoid fear that fuels anxiety......So my question is do all these delusions resolve ever.....Where I just don't deal with it anymore......I just feel it sparks up when I get stressed but I don't totally lose it.....It's just like the background noise becomes louder if that makes sense.
 
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Is there anywhere this can go so i can get more replies please....Sorry to sound selfish....I would just like some answers...
 
Hi sonic, have you ever explored the Icarus Project website? Dealing with psychosis is hard enough and when you also are dealing with all the effects of the drugs they prescribe for it as well it can feel like hell quite literally. They have an interesting take on psychosis as well as a link to getting off psychiatric drugs safely.

One of the things that so many people dealing with psychosis overlook is really good nutrition. It sounds simplistic but it is actually anything but. Check out anti-inflammatory diets and good brain supplements that contain omegas as well as the vitamin B complex.

There is always hope. I dealt with psychosis many years ago and I have never had to experience it again. Looking back I can say that the things that helped me most to heal were diet and intention. I made my whole life center around changing the way I thought--the patterns I had developed since early childhood were not working. It is a long journey but it became interesting to me to study the tangle of it all. You have already done so much to heal. Just keep learning yourself and caring for the body that houses the mind; that way always moves you forward.<3
 
Under normal circumstances I would say that occasional recreational use of a drug (pot or otherwise) is, in and of itself, not a particularly big deal. However, if you are dealing with addiction and withdrawal from drug A, using drug B to counteract that is NOT going to work, you are just digging yourself deeper in a hole. Seek professional help and addiction treatment and get clean.
 
Things will get better. I crashed and burned 3 years ago after a year long meth/bath salt binge. I was using meth to deal with opiate withdrawal. Experienced amphet psycosis. After a couple months on klonopin and suboxone, therapy, meetings, changing friends, etc shit got better. It will get better as long as you work at it.
 
there is always hope. i never tried meth before but i got really hooked in ecstasy/mdma. and you dont want to hear my paranoia stories because it sounds really stupid. i was taking ecstasy every week last year. sometimes once a week or sometimes twice sometimes even three times a week. after 2 months of abusing it, then the karma came in me. i was depressed, paranoid, i have suicidal thoughts. its really like im in hell. i cant sleep i had an insomnia for a month.. i felt like everyone is tripping on me and i felt like they dont like me. its really u dont wanna experience. but the HOPE came.. i never came to a psych or a doctor i just motivate myself and things got better.. dont lose hope
 
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ill get bac 2 ur reply after shower and food lol
then ill think of sometyhing lol
 
herbavore said:
sonic, how are you doing?
Click to expand...



I'm good Herbavore, my nightmares have been crazy tho but, other than that....I'm getting a long as i always have......I'm so wondering if me eating before I go to bed is causing my nightmares and i mean these ain't your normal nightmares....They involve some of my worst fears which I won't get into on the forums....Thanks guys for the mood boost.
 
^I've read that eating right before bed can give you intense dreams but I don't know whether there is any validity to it. You could experiment and try just some hot tea or something instead of eating.
 
^actually I think it is true, I've noticed that whenever I eat a lot right before bed my dreams are more intensed and sometimes I will have sleep paralysis. I'd say two or an hour before bed is good so the food digests at least.
 
After being clean for 5 years I've just been on a 2 month meth binge. I hate it. It does nothing for me. I suffer from psychosis and have been for the past 12 years. I have to take anti-psychotics for the rest of my life. It sucks but its my karma. I don't resent it. Good luck with stopping your addiction. I wish you peace and courage to do what you need to do.

P.S. There is always hope.
 
Like REM sleep induced by seroquel just gives me vivid dreams and sometimes they eventually turn into nightmares....I awake with a throbbing headache cause my eyes have been moving all around the whole night......Throw in some food before bed and I know I will have a nightmare.......DCypha, I wish you luck on your journey.....I know it's hard...I just got tired of the pain and obsessive thoughts meth was giving me....I used to enjoy waking up and smoking a bowl of weed and that was it but eventually that turned on me so i try to stay away from anything that will lead me down that dark hole of addiction even tho ironically me having to take medication is an addiction in itself.
 
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