Is there hope for me?

OMG hahaha, After reading this thread i am happy to know there is alot of other people out there who feel like skinny little bitches like myself.

Too bad my view on my body doesnt fuck with my confidence, or id be another wow playing virgin like TaZeR.

but seriously, i took a really good mental health course and i benefited greatly from it.

remember, its all a story you tell yourself in your head, unless your like my friend Jerry with paranoid Schizophrenia then your head makes up the story!!!

thanks for the laughs Voxdie
 
I've just been this all my life I only sat at the computer 24/7 from the age of 14 dropped out of school, lost all of my friends then later in life lost contact with my parents and family. Then I masturbated about 10 times a day and smoked weed daily and over that decade of sitting in a dark room on the computer I developed this crazy fear of people and going outside, if you saw my face it looks terrible deep dark circles under the eyes dry scaly irritated skin, I think I might be suffering from adrenal fatigue.

I cant do therapy or whatever because I cant go outside or talk to any people its much too painful I get deep burning in my chest, I start to loose my vision and my eyes sting like hell, I start getting vertigo and cant walk straight the anxiety is that bad, the only option I see is too slowly cure myself with training and changing my body while slowly improving my mind in the privacy of my own home.

I see the steroids as like something that can jump start my battery so I have the strength to even work out because as of now im so small and weak any type of movement makes me so tired and feel so sick im puking and chugging water just from jogging under 5 minutes.



You don't need steroids, and you're problems are much deeper than simply "improving" you're appearance.

You need to get to the emergency room and seek professional medical help, right away.

I am in no way, shape or form putting you down. I struggled with my weight most of my life, and would literally kill to have your metabolism, and not have stretch marks any more. I am 6'2 and weight 275lbs. I have put on enough muscle that I don't look bad anymore.. but when I was in Highschool I looked like shit. I was 5'11 and weighed 330lbs. I was a fat fucking mess.

Improving my apearance through diet and weight training helped me gain some self confidence, and I actually am able to score girls now fairly easily. Through my increased appearance came more self confidence.... and with the self-confidence came the gift of the gab. Which made me much more sociable. I was not as bad was what you have described, but I wouldn't go to parties, I wouldn't eat around other people... I was just a lonely, fat mess with no self confidence....

I really hope that you will go to the ER, seem mental medical help and gain the self confidence you deserve. Steroids are not the answer..... although I don't think that they are the Demon that the media portrays them to be.. They are nothing to play with. Post Cycle Training (PCT) will either make, or break you as far as what you are going to get out of doing steroids.

You can do correct PCT and maximize your gains, of you can do none, or incorrect PCT and you will Maximize the negative side affects of steroids.

Your original post/question/issue... is much deeper than someone suggesting a steroid for you to cycle... but the answer is simply "YES" there is hope for you... You just need to get to the ER or a family doctor and get on some mental therapy. Right now it may seem like something you can't do.... but once you make that first step of SEEKING the help.. the rest will fall in to place, and come naturally.

Don't be afraid to pray.. Im not a huge believer in God.. but I do pray... I don't pray for Tangible gifts.. I pray for strength to overcome my weaknesses.... ANd I guess in a way... im not really asking any higher power for that strength.. im more or less coaching myself along....

You can do it man... but you gotta learn how to start the car, before you can win the Race. Just get it started, then go from there!!!

Good Luck & Godspeed

Jack
 
Don't listen to Vioxide.

Ok he seems to be a dick at times, but that's just dumb. I've been in the gym 7 years and he clearly KNOWS his shit at least.

And to all the dicks in the forum: he may be a troll, but do you want to take the risk? If you still plan to be a dick, then you are clearly a sick sack of shit and should be the ones thinking about euthanasia, not the other way around. I think Voxide just redeemed himself though, lol.

Anyway, here's something to ponder: in addition to social anxiety, I am severely, dangerously unstable and psychotic and it is safest for everyone if I live like a hermit and tranquilized. My meds allow me a huge improvement: I can function at the lowest level, barely. I knocked up my gf and work to support my little family, scared all the time of losing a crappy job I hate, but need, as I am so unstable, just lucky so far I still have it. And I'm younger than you are. You reay aren't the worst off. I agree with Voxide on one thing. Only you can pull yourself out of this. I have big plans to improve the lives of me, my lady, and my little boy. Working out helps your confidence, all right... About 5%. It mostly is about you. I look like Stallone and sure, it makes you more attractive, but doesn't "get" the ladies. You have to, still. Given your sedentary lifestyle, I'd see a doc before even starting a workout regime and get a physical. Who knows the damage that lifestyle may have caused? I'd also check in with a psychiatrist, my meds really are saviours to me. There might be free support groups for anxiety. Lay off the wacky tobacky for a bit too. Some people find it provokes anxiety, but it's up to you to gauge your reaction. I've also noticed a lack of body hair on the pic, maybe low test? I would guess you might be undersexed, if not for the porn habit... Just think before you blame things on mental illness. Some of us can't really even go out if we want to. I've got a 138 iq, body like Stallone, big junk, and have a life completely screwed over by actions taken when psychotic that I barely or can't even remember. I'm bipolar and it ruined my life, already. I don't even want a happy life, dying at 40 or not, I'll settle for just a livable one. When, despite being willing and working like a dog at it, you know a happy life is not near attainable, you have a problem. I accept that and will work my hardest to set myself straight. You should do the same. Exercise, meds, social life, education are small potatoes if you truly aren't willing to heal yourself. And I've had so many suicide attempts I've lost count. I like posting like this because it helps get my mental inventory together.

And by the way, black metal is the SHIT. But I can't workout well to it. It demands time to itself to spend listening to it without distraction. Death is great for workouts. Kataklysm should be easy to get into, especially Prevail.
 
Oh and Deroxer, paranoia isn't fun, it's scary. Really, really, really scary. So don't think of it as a "story". Sorry for the double post, my iTouch is difficul to use the edit feature on.
 
Yes there is hope for you. But steroids are not it.. Self confidence is it. I suggest going sky diving! There are two kinds of first experience of sky diving. One is called a tandem jump and the other is you go through a ground school and then jump with a static line. You need something that will boost your confidence. If you do a tandem just you will know that it was someone else that controlled your fate. If you jump on your own you will know it is you that controls your fate. A long time ago I was very afraid of heights. I couldn't look over a balcony. So I lied about my age, you needed to be 18 but I was only 17, and went skydiving. I am still afraid of heights but I control it, it does not control me. I say fear is like a small dog. It will yap and yap at you might even try to nip at your heels. But if you turn and face it it will run away. Fear is like a small dog.

That really is your problem "fear". That fear brings on the lack of self confidence. So do things that will give you self confidence. If you do that then you can go up to some girl you like and say "I jumped out of an airplane have you ever tried that?" If she laughs at you it's her problem. It's her fear.

If you take roids you still have to work your ass off in the gym. And then you can't stop taking them. The roids will stop your body from making it's own testosterone. Then when you stop you lose all the muscle you have put on. That's call crashing. Believe me I've been there done that. I know there will be people that saw if you do a good PCT that won't happen. I saw only if you are lucky, and very lucky at that, it won't happen even with a good PCT. And it's been shown that doing adrenalin producing activity, like sky diving, increases your own bodies production of testosterone. And testosterone is considered the King of roids.

So be smart and get into things that give you an adrenalin rush. You will find lots of women that will like you. They will like you because you will have changed. You won't have to go up to them they will come up to you.
 
Oh and Deroxer, paranoia isn't fun, it's scary. Really, really, really scary. So don't think of it as a "story". Sorry for the double post, my iTouch is difficul to use the edit feature on.

I know it is, ive binged on enough uppers to experience true paranoid delusions and life threatening hallucinations.

But paranoia and Schizophrenia are different things.

And maybe TaZeR might suffer from, the latter mental illness. like my friend Jerry......
 
Fair point, I'm thinking paranoid delusions more, which is the most common type, falling under the persecutory delusions category. Very often present in paranoid schizophrenics. I really think he is much more likely to be experiencing agoraphobia though...
 
Lay off the wacky tobacky for a bit too. Some people find it provokes anxiety, but it's up to you to gauge your reaction.
One specific study suggests that consuming 10+ cigarettes per day is associated with having a higher likelihood for an anxiety disorder by 1.5 times as much. It is better not to consume it at all, as it damages your body pretty extensively.

And by the way, black metal is the SHIT. But I can't workout well to it. It demands time to itself to spend listening to it without distraction. Death is great for workouts. Kataklysm should be easy to get into, especially Prevail.

I love listening to black metal and death metal but I am currently much more into noise. I mostly listen to Merzbow.
 
ua'd off topic posts.

keep it on topic and civil thanks guys otherwise the thread will be locked and posters reprimanded if it continues down this path.

thanks.

I hear you bro and am glad that your watching out for the forum but it's kind of discouraging to us guys that are posting postive and helpful advice, or at least obviously posting in such a way as to try to motivate him in positive ways and giving him hopeful types of feedback. Isn't there a way to address the bs posts that are detrimental without closing the thread. It seems like it would be a shame to close a thread because of one poster who is posting in a negative and trollish type of way. I haven't been here in a while but one of my main reasons for belonging to this forum is to try to help others based on my experience since I've been around the block with respect to the type of things I have been involved in as they relate to this site. Hope you don't take this in the wrong way I have respect for people who act as mods, it's not an easy job (or a well paid one) So props to you bro for the work you do in helping keep this site running smoothly.
 
I hear you bro and am glad that your watching out for the forum but it's kind of discouraging to us guys that are posting postive and helpful advice, or at least obviously posting in such a way as to try to motivate him in positive ways and giving him hopeful types of feedback. Isn't there a way to address the bs posts that are detrimental without closing the thread. It seems like it would be a shame to close a thread because of one poster who is posting in a negative and trollish type of way. I haven't been here in a while but one of my main reasons for belonging to this forum is to try to help others based on my experience since I've been around the block with respect to the type of things I have been involved in as they relate to this site. Hope you don't take this in the wrong way I have respect for people who act as mods, it's not an easy job (or a well paid one) So props to you bro for the work you do in helping keep this site running smoothly.

You make good points, Titus. We do have procedures in place that we follow to prevent a good thread from being closed due to off-topic posts and harmful information. leftwing was instituting the initial process of how we do it by making a public, friendly announcement that things need to stay on point.

The next step would to be to issue official 'Warnings' (no point value) to those who continue in spite of leftwing's 'heads up'. If, after the Warning, a poster still insists in making inciteful and harmful posts, we begin issuing 'Infractions' (that carry point values). After continuous Infractions, the belligerent poster receives a Temporary Ban. Temporary Bans can be from 1 day to a year in length.

On a side note... I seem to recall you posting back in the day. Its good to see you around! We'd love to hear about your experiences and shared knowledge!
 
I just realized you are a female yourself lol, no comment. I don't need hormonal advice.

Can I get some mens opinions who know what there talking about?
Exactly!! Advice from someone who doesnt relate.....kinda like women talkin about football!
 
You make good points, Titus. We do have procedures in place that we follow to prevent a good thread from being closed due to off-topic posts and harmful information. leftwing was instituting the initial process of how we do it by making a public, friendly announcement that things need to stay on point.

The next step would to be to issue official 'Warnings' (no point value) to those who continue in spite of leftwing's 'heads up'. If, after the Warning, a poster still insists in making inciteful and harmful posts, we begin issuing 'Infractions' (that carry point values). After continuous Infractions, the belligerent poster receives a Temporary Ban. Temporary Bans can be from 1 day to a year in length.

On a side note... I seem to recall you posting back in the day. Its good to see you around! We'd love to hear about your experiences and shared knowledge!

OverDone, thanks for the clarification as to how disruption is managed in threads. Much appreciated! And it's good to be back @ bluelight too!
 
Is Voxide still rocking this forum? :)

Yes, he is. =D

I hope OP at least has the decency to give us an update. Would be nice to see him come back 30lbs heavier, but given the nature of situations like this, I doubt it.
 
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